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Author: Saurabh Garg

Hello 41!

Here are some thoughts about things that I want to prioritise and focus on as I turn 41 years old.

Now that am just a year away from finding the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, here are a few things that I would do with whatever time I’ve left.

Starting today.

These are not in any order.

1/ Get more anal about my time.

Truth be told, I am very very particular about how I spend my time. With less and less time available to me here, I would become even more particular about how I spend my time. If I can, I would outsource, delegate, or defer things that I think do not deserve my time.

I would spend most of my time with people who love me (parents, M&m, friends, etc.), people who helped me when I needed help (way too many to list here), people who I work with (in my case a lot of people I work with are the people that love me and vice versa). In that order.

And then if there’s time left, I would think of other things.

2/ Make fitness my #2 priority after time.

This has been a goal since I can remember. And I have failed at it consistently. I recently weighed myself. I am 93 KGs (even though I am 35 inches around my waist). I think my body is dense (which is a good thing) but I need to find a way to get healthier. I do not want to wither away. I do not want to be a vegetable. I definitely do not want to be a burden. So that.

I know I have been gloriously lazy about this. I know I can’t work out (hernia and ankles and extended tailbone and all that) but I can definitely do yoga. I need to find some classes. I don’t think I have the motivation to do it at home with a remote teacher. Now that I “live” in Andheri West, I am sure I can find something that I can walk to. And since I can choose how I spend my time (see #1), I should be able to get that going. This is to happen from 2nd Oct (once am back in India). And then once I get regular at it, I will try to learn swimming (will have to quit Yoga to move to a place that has a pool (Wadhwa)).

While I do this, I will fix my food. I don’t have an option to cook but I know I can spend money to find a way to eat better. Oh, and 8 hour sleep.

3/ Become high-agency.

This one is simple. This thread explains what’s high-agency. Do read this. I read this often. I read it again while writing this piece.

I think I am already high-agency.

I would go higher, and become even more high-agency. Till the time I am the man on a mission and trying to close as many things as I can.

3.1/ I will become a closer. I realize that I am not one. I am at best a thrower of multiple darts, hoping one would hit the bull’s eye. I would create a deliberate life. For myself and the ones around me.

4/ I will travel as much as I can.

I have come to realize that I miss travel. I would thus not leave any opportunity to hop onto a plane, a train, or a car.

No bus. Lol.

5/ I will identify a thing that could become my life’s mission.

At this point in time, SoG looks like it.

I will spend a large chunk of time on making it substantial and larger than me or any one individual. Read this and this. I am sure I’ve written more about this in more places as well. Will compile those.

6/ I will close all windows before I sleep. Each day.

See this for context. This means I will return all phone calls, overcommunicate, and close loops on each open thing. I would also endeavor to respond to emails within 24 hours. If not action, I will make the other side aware of the action. The world runs on tacit agreements, assumptions, social norms, and expected conduct from people at large. I would become the torchbearer of great behavior when it comes to being prompt.

The Closure

7/ I will try and learn new things.

I have been fiddling with a guitar and a uke for a while. I have been tinkering with Webflow for the last few days. While I worked on webflow, I realised that I am my joyous best when I am learning new things. Webflow is the right thing for someone like me – not very tough, not very easy, doesnt require any foundational knowledge to build on top of, its simple HTML and CSS on steriods (something that I am aware of already). So that.

So, yeah! That’s about it.
Over and out. Time to get serious about time.

Gratitude,
SG

PS: I wanted this list to have 41 bullet points. You know, 41 for 41. Just like I made 40 things for the 40s. But then I couldn’t think of more. If you know me and you think you want to help me become better, please do recommend more things that I could do with whatever time I have left here. And no, I have not forgotten those 40 things that I need to do in the next 9 years.

40 things for the 40s

PPS: Of course, I have come to accept that I may not be as big a deal as I had imagined I would be when I was a child. And I know that I would probably never be like Steve or Paul or any of those people (see this TED talk). But I know that I can be like a Drona. I wrote about this this week only. Maybe I need to take one more shot before I hang my boots?

PPPS: I just uploaded my will. Do make one for yourself. It’s a very sobering and humbling exercise!

Marathon vs Sprint

If you need to build a deliberate life, you need to know which of the two (consistency or intensity) drives you. I try and find out about myself.

When you run, you can do it in two different ways. Both may seem similar but they differ widely. These are Marathons and Sprints.

Of course, both need passion, training, instinct, and superhuman effort. And while the things you need in the two (the technique and the methods and the skills and all that) may differ from each other, both demand you to put in the hours and the practice.

To illustrate the two, I will lean onto the two GOATS of running – Kipchoge and Bolt – to make a great example. Both of them need teams – probably more so in Kipchoge’s case (pacers etc.) – but they are individual personification of achievement of a team.

Marathons

The man who has become synonymous with marathons is Kipchoge. While each of his achievements needs a tome of its own, the most incredible feat is his sub-2-hour marathon.

Marathons need tiny steps and consistent progress over a very very long period of space and time. And because it’s repetitive work over and over again, these get boring.

The keywords are consistent, drudgery, long-term, and boring. And in one word, marathons require consistency.

Sprints

The GOAT of sprints is Usain Bolt. If you want an idea of his greatness, see this.

Unlike a marathon, a sprint needs a burst of energy that you typically expect from a rocket ship. It starts with a big bang, requires you to give all you’ve got, and you have to last till you tide over the finish line. In the case of a rocket, the momentum takes it ahead. In the case of a runner, they end their sprint after a few hundred meters. You blink and you may miss it. It exhilarates the runner (and the audience) and is over before you know it.

The keywords are fast, energetic, and exhilarating. In one word, sprints require intensity.

So, why talk of Marathons and Sprints?

Well, in life and in work, you can operate as a marathoner or a sprinter.

You could build the marathon muscle that will help you work for at least the next 10 years – you know, perseverance, patience, long-term thinking, politeness, relationships, delayed gratification, tiny successes, and all that.

Or you could develop the sprint ability to live each day like it’s your last. Things like high-risk-taking ability, love for games of odds, acceptance of impending doom in the wake of failure, a tinge of irrationality, and all that.

Most people I know of who’ve been able to build a great life for themselves and others around them have been marathoners kinds. Yes, there are a few who’ve taken the fast road to riches but then they are few and far between.

And if you are like me (an ordinary person with average chances), your odds of success would become far far better. I mean look at me. I’ve been on it since at least 2014 now. So 10 years. And I still don’t know where I’d end up.

However, like most advice on the internet, there is no one size fits all. While the idea of being a marathoner is true in general, there are two exceptions.

A/ Are you driven by (and built for) intensity? Or consistency? There is no easy way to find this out. Look at what you’ve enjoyed in the past – Short bursts of focused work or long spells of meandering? Ability to obsess deeply over a problem for a long time or quick fix solutions that are fast and easy? The ambition of making an impact over a large parcel of humanity or living the life of a free person on a beach?

B/ Does the work you do need intensity or consistency? For example, if you are in the business of films, you could give one superhit and then do nothing. And come back after a few years. In your lifetime you would probably make 20 films. No, I do not mean you would not work on your craft while you are not making films. It means that you will immerse yourself in a piece of work and forget about everything else. Any “project” business would require intensity – you know, website design, art, books etc.

On the other hand, if your work is to operate a cinema hall, you need to open the hall every day and sweep it and place the new films and sell tickets and all that. The only way to make it big there is to continue working for years and scale the cinema hall into a chain of screens.

These two questions would help you figure out where you want to be and how you want to live. And once you know what you are suited for, I think creating a deliberate life around that should not be tough.

No?

PS: This is not one of my best posts. But I had to post.

PPS: While I was writing this, I realized that I need to find work that allows me to get into medium-term sprints (say 6 months) and then allows me to switch off for the next 6 months. I think it boils down to consistency. Look at Ankit – mad respect for his consistency. I don’t even deserve to mention his and my names in the same sentence!

Of course, I don’t have it in me to be consistent but I can be patient AF. And maybe that could be a place where I could live at? You know, regular sprints for a long time!

What do you think?

Arjun vs Drona

I talk about Arjuna and Drona and I talk about how I need to tame my wants of being one and train myself to be another.

You know of Arjuna. And Drona too. Probably the most famous guru-disciple pair in the world. The two were made for each other. The guru would not yeild. The disciple would not give up. The guru wanted nothing but complete submission and dedication. The disciple couldnt see anything but the eye of the bird. The guru wanted nothing but respcet. The disciple captured the kingdom of Drupada to salvage the guru’s respect.

Like most characters from the Mahabharata, both Arjuna and Drona have multiple personalities, are often open to interpretation and deeply flawed.

Look at Arjuna, arguably the greatest warrior of his time. On one side he’s a good son, an obedient brother, and a doting father. And on the other he’s taken shortcuts, partidipated in killing of his clan (even if it was for the greater good (what even is greater good?), including his very guru) and stayed silient when Draupadi had to go through the humiliation.

Drona had his share of flaws as well. The most famous is the episode with Eklavya. As a guru, you ought to be impartial and yet for Arjuna, Drona asked for Eklavya’s thumb. Some versions of Mahabharata claim that Drona did not like anyone but his own son and all that happened (Arjuna coming on top et al) was an accident.

I’d never know the truth but I do know that Arjuna was indeed a great warrior and Drona, a great guru.

And this is what my post for the day is about. Arjuna and Drona.

Lemme shift topics.

The thing is, each person here belives they are special and they deserve the best and they will conquer the world and live a life of riches. Even the most average people consider themselves special (hello Dunning Kruger). In modern parenting, we hard-code into our kids that they are special. They may very well be. But then by definition, there can only be one Sachin, one Ranveer, one Shohei, one Serena, one Arujna, one conquerer of worlds, who’s kirti traverses the tribhvuan.

I was no different. I have lived all my life believing that I am special. But as I turn 41, I realise that I may not be as special. If I am, I dont see it. I mean I live the most ordinary life for a 41-year-old. Heck, its not even ordinary. I am in deep debt, I dont have a family of my own (I belong to my parent’s family), I dont know what am supposed to do in life (this post is an attempt to find an answer) and I dont have a path that if I walked on for a few more years would take me to salvation. Whatever salvation is. I mean I dont know what Arjuna did after the war was over. Such a waste of talent to have won the war and then nothing from there on. I get it that he was like a warrior in the garden and his mere presence kept peace in the region.

I was digressing. The point is, each person lives their lives assuming they are special and they prepare for, they wait for greatness. All their lives are spent working towards that moment of truth when the greatness would be unveiled. And there are many – from each child in India preparing for a shot at cricket glory to each person in the bylanes of Aram Nagar acting and dancing hoping to make it big on the silverscreen to each student at engineering colleges across the country wanting to do a startup that would become a unicorn eventually to more such places where the odds of wild success are tiny and rewards for even mild success are grand.

Like I said, I am no different. At least from the time I realised I was a good coder at at obscure college in Delhi university, I have believed that I am special. I am sure I would’ve felt great even before that (thanks to my genes and me going to nondescript schools and all). And I have lived as if I am a big deal and I’ve never sweat on the small stuff. And I think it has served me well. I have taken the tougher road and I have even had to beg, borrow and steal to be able to survive. All in the hopes that some day it will all make sense and the end would justify the means.

But lately I am having second thoughts about things. May be this is what mid-life crisis is all about (here are my other pieces about this). You see your friends and acquaintances and everyone else doing well and you start to compare and you dont know what to do. And since I know that time and life is a one-way street, I know I can’t do much about my failures as a talent.

But what I can do for sure is, become a Drona. To potential Arjunas. You know, something like Richard to Serena and Venus (see this), Mahavir to Geeta and Babita (see this), Ramkant to Sachin, Maggie to Roger and JP (see this). Yeah, yeah I am inspired a lot by films. No wonder, filmmaking is a not-so-secret desire.

Of course the skills and talent I need to be able to be a Drona and do this vary widely from what I have prepared all my life for. And that’s a journey I need to go on. I dont know what is that path. I dont know how to prepare for it. I dont know what I need to undo in my personality. I just know that I have to do it. I owe this much to me. And to universe that has made me who I am.

While I do this, I need to be careful. I need to not become Vikramaditya. I need to try and not fall (this is probably going to be the most difficult thing ever). I need to get over with the guilt of being yet another in the long queue of “those who can, do; those who can’t teach”. And I know I will never be the person in arena and thus I need to build empathy.

Lemme take a break reproduce the text about the arena – this is a very powerful piece and you better read.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Shame on the man of cultivated taste who lets refinement to develop in to fastidiousness that unfits him for doing the rough work of a work day world.

Theodore Roosevelt

So that.

I need to accept my failure to be the Arjuna and pivot to being a Drona. And I need to become better at being a teacher, a mentor and someone that young ones entrust. I need to learn how to detach. I need to be able to be a better Drona and not get attached to the people I work with. I can not live vicariously. I can not create these young ones into what I couldnt become.

And most importantly, I need to find young ones that are willing to be my guinea pigs and submit their lives to me.

This, I think, is it for the day. Over tomorrow.

The Closure

A life lesson, some ways to be a better child and discovering freedom.

TW: Talks of life, death, aging parents, and all that.

On my last trip to Delhi, I met a senior from MDI (let’s call him A) and we got talking about aging parents, time, regrets, closure, and all that.

He and I faced the same dilemma – on one side both of us wanted to be good children to our respective parents who are aging fast; and on the other, both of us wanted to chase our respective bliss (family and career in his case; more travels, money, and dreams in mine). And both of us wanted both things at the same time.

A simple solution could have been to co-live with parents – like families in India have lived for centuries. But the vagaries of modern life, the stubbornness of old age, and the enthusiasm of infinite ambition make it tough.

I mean, at least in my case, I can NOT live in the same city and thus not in the same house as my parents. My work, my life, and my ambitions are in Mumbai (and inshallah, at some point in the near future, out of India). My parent’s whole life is concentrated around a 500-m road, a park, an army of domestic helps that they manage, and neighbors they’ve lived with for more than 35 years now. The only time they leave this geofence is to visit doctors. They go on travels once or twice a year, for about two days, and are content with that.

A’s parents are home-bound as well and they live in a small town about 150 KMs away from him. One of his parents is bedridden and needs 24-hour assistance. His parents also are geofenced to their neighborhood and the townsfolk that they lived with all their lives. ce In my case, this distance is about 1400 KMs. A’s work requires him to be in a city and the parents can’t leave their row house and the familiarity of the town to move, even if they want to be with their kids.

When I met him, he was exasperated at the prospect of staying away. I had a more morose emotion. I was disappointed, sad, and full of guilt that I was not being a good son. I mean I want my parents to be with me. And I want them to be comfortable. At the place I am in in my life, I don’t have enough to get them even a room of their own in Mumbai. Plus I will move out of India soon (I don’t know how to do this with my aging parents needing constant medical supervision). At these times, I think that I should’ve done a Naukri long ago and with time I would have made enough to have a house that my parents would have converted into a home.

Anyhow. Rant.

Coming back.

In that conversation A made a very pertinent point. I don’t recall the exact words he used but here is my articulation of that. He said that we need to be mindful ALL THE TIME that EACH interaction with our parents could be the last one.

When I first heard this, something snapped in me. While I can see my parents growing old and fading, the reality of them not being around me never occurred to me. I know it’s inevitable and I am a hyper-realist, I should’ve thought of it and planned for it. It reminded me of this post by Tim Urban about the time of life. I had read it a few years ago but the chat with A reminded me of it all over again.

So, A further said that since life is so unpredictable and so fragile, you never know what will hit you when, and often you may be left with things unspoken, unsaid, unexpressed. He then said that each time you speak with your folks, you need to get closure on each conversation, however small, tiny, or insignificant it may be.

Again this closure thought had never occurred to me. Like all things in life, I assumed that it was an ongoing relationship that would stretch to infinity. No, I am not dumb and I am aware of the shortness of life (and the importance of the sense of urgency) but it never dawned on me to get closure on simple conversations. Reminds me of my thing with “closing windows” when I sleep. Reminds me of the frailty of human thought and emotion in the wake of uncertainty.

In fact, most relationships go sour when this closure is absent from them. It could be as simple as saying sorry for the time you snapped. Or could be as large as being at the bedside when someone passes away. Even when someone is leaving the city, the action of dropping at the airport and checking in once they have reached is a closure of that “transaction”. I have famously shied away from these. To the point that I find excuses to not be around when someone has to go. I can’t say goodbyes, even when I know that they are going to a better place. And of course, there have been times when I was denied the opportunity to say goodbye. It still inches often. I regret that I could not. For example, when Poo left, I wanted to hug her tight at the airport but I couldn’t do that. Fucking Samaaj and all that. Not just with friends like Poo, each romantic relationship I’ve had since the beginning of time, I have not got closure. And at least in two of those, I did not offer closure. With my conscious as my only alibi, I know that I tried in both cases but I could not. I needed to try harder. Now, it’s going to be too little too late. I mean how do you tell someone you loved with all your head and heart that the neverending, forever love couldn’t stand the test of time and withered away? How do you tell someone you shared a room, a house with that you don’t feel as special about them as you did once upon a time? How do you tell them that you don’t feel loved when you are around them?

Anyhow. Rant. Again. Arrghh. Need to be better. Coming back. To A and our conundrum.

So, in an ideal scenario, both A and I wanted to be able to chase our bliss while keeping our families together (in A’s case he’s got a wife and two kids and then A’s wife’s parents and all that). If the two things (bliss and family) could intersect and coexist, nothing like it. But they clearly aren’t.

So there are a few options that we seem to have…

A/ Give up on bliss and go family first
A decision that millions of people make every day. And there’s nothing wrong with it.

Come to think of it, at the end of the day, all of us are dead and life has no meaning per se. We are all just space dust floating around without a destination or a reason. Don’t want to get started on the raison d’etre narrative. Will take another million words.

B/ Find a way to chase bliss while you are near them.
So, in my case, rather than being in Mumbai (or out of India), build a life in Gurgaon / NOIDA, etc.

This seems plausible but I am not sure if I want to do this. I don’t like the weather (winters I love but am not okay with heat). I don’t like the lack of professionalism. I don’t have the flexibility or the freedom that Mumbai offers me.

Wait. I think all my decisions in life boil down to this one trait – freedom. I don’t know why though. As a child or a young adult, I have always had the freedom to do more and thus I don’t understand what demon am I running away from. Or what goal am I chasing. I mean, in each thing I do, I seek freedom – not wearing shoes, not submitting to a calendar, not conforming to a dress code, not sitting on the window seat in a plane (cos I want to escape from the aisle fast), not wanting to not drive while I am not in a car. I can list a thousand quirks that make me and I am sure I can trace all those back to my want of freedom.

C/ Accept the inability to be a good son and drop that and chase bliss.
Even if I am unsuccessful at it.

I mean I am 40 41 and I still need to scrounge around to make ends meet). Thanks to the people that work with me, I am able to earn some money but if I look at my life and my work independently, I think I can do more. LOT more. I was destined to change the world. Right now, I am having trouble changing the wifi network on my phone.

No, I do not write this from a negative lens or from a place of self-pity. Neither do I expect any slack from anyone. I am very very grateful for my life and how I’ve been lucky. I mean I write this on an expensive laptop tethered to an expensive phone that has two high-speed internet connections, sitting at a premium cafe in probably the most expensive neighborhood in a country that is not home. And I am here for no reason. How many people have this? Few! So, I am ok.

Just that I am aware of the gap between my potential and my reality. And the opportunity that fate has given me. If I don’t bridge this, it would be unfair. Of course, life itself isn’t fair but we all try. No?

The only open window would be that in chase of grandeur, I would have neglected my parents. And that’s not a good thing.

D/ Find a compromise.
What I am doing right now is a compromise. I travel to Delhi as much as I can. And I continue to try and build a life that I like. I am not doing any of these things well but at least I am trying and doing as much as I can.

Like most things in like, you become a reflection of what you tried and what you left behind.

That!

No. I am not clear on which of the four paths I need to take. When I wrote this, I was leaning towards B and C. When I read this again before publishing, I thought D was the best. So, I don’t know. Let’s see what I end up doing. Stay tuned to find out what I did ;P

Lol.

Okay, this became a long rant. If you’ve made it till here and you want one takeaway from this 2000-word piece, let it be this – our lives are fragile, and unpredictable and we need to aim for closure in each interaction we have, especially with our loved ones.

Over and out.

Hello, September!

A short note on how 2023 has been to me.

The 9th month of the year is here.

The year started like yesterday! I mean I can’t even recall where did all this time go. All I have is this blurry vision of things and experiences and all that. Lemme see what I remember without any aids. And I will write about these in the order they come to me when I think about the year gone by.

  1. We cracked a few clients for C4E. And we are growing. In case you are looking for a great place to work, consider us. See this form. Now to do more things with C4E and move in more zones.
  2. Poo went to get herself a better life. I miss her but I am happy that she’s doing what she’s been trying to do for a long long time.
  3. I was in BKK for a trip that was supposed to be 2 weeks long but I had to cut it short to 3 days. I have another 2-week trip coming up. I am hoping to not cancel that.
  4. I got a new rental house in Mumbai. While I was transitioning between these houses, I lived in shitty hotels. I continue to not like the idea of living with friends or relatives.
  5. I decided to take C4E in a high-performing, high-gear mode and I failed at it. I did not push my people more. I could’ve. I tried. But the moment I made some changes, I could see the cracks. I pulled back. But we need to become stronger.
  6. I was in Delhi for a few days and I realised that my parents are getting old and they are fading fast. This is as polite and respectful as I can be about their age. So that. And since I have been thinking about this post from Tim Urban anyway, this visit was a stark reminder of the frailty and impermanence of life. The worst part is that you fade away. I think that’s a bad way to go – on one side, you can say your goodbyes and get closures and all that. On the other, you see former strong people as weak and frail. I dont know what’s more damning. Anyhow.

So that!

These are the things I recall. Lemme check my notes and see what else happened in this year that is worth capturing.

So, I checked my notes and I realised that I had remembered the key events. I would have wanted to change the order of how I remembered but that’s okay.

So this is how the year has been. Fairly ordinary. No large impacts. But then, it’s ok. As long as I’ve been able to manage to stay sane and engaged.

That’s it for the day. I am off to my annual break in less than two weeks. While I am there, I will try to eat better, write and think about life. Let’s see what the rest of the month holds for me.

Over and out.

SoG and my life’s work

What does SoG (Shoulders of Giants) mean to me?

So, one of the things I run is called the SoG (short for Shoulders of Giants) where I find young, bright people and then throw them with other young, bright people and then do things that make them friends with each other. In most cases, these people realise that they are smart and thus they make the effort to become friends. If not that, at least they develop mutual respect for each other. I throw ideas at them and then I get out of their way. To the point that I dont even bother with what they do or how they do it.

Of course, I do this with an ulterior motive. I want to not die a boring old man and surrounding myself with young people helps me learn more and do more. Plus I take their help in my work at C4E – you know, market research, ideation, concept testing, vox pops, cultural appropriation, new ideas and whatnot.

It has sort of become a symbiotic relationship where young people are challenged and they grow faster than they would. And I (and C4E) get access to ideas that we would otherwise miss. We help each other grow. Think Escher‘s Drawing Hands.

So I know this works. Helping each other grow. Do more. Etc.

And I have seen enough proof of this in action. I have seen how these kids change after they’ve spent a few months with each other. They blossom. It’s like a finishing school. They see the vastness of the sea. They find their way home and they start walking on the long road. They build their respective tribes. They anyway have access to the Internet and this SoG thingy becomes their gateway to people, places, and opportunities. I can write more but I hope you get the point.

For me, I’ve seen how attached I get to them as people – to the point that I get emotionally invested in their lives and success. As if they are my blood and my offspring. May be it’s my age (of 40) where biology is amplifying my fatherly instincts and making me want to protect and provide.

I am digressing. Coming back.

So, what I do at SoG works to the point that I’ve decided to make this my life’s work. While I will make money from C4E or whatever, I will spend a disproportionately large chunk of my time, social clout, energy, money and everything I have on pushing this program. Each thing I have would be spent on building this program up. Each connection I have will be requested to help me amplify these people. You will see me talk about this more and more. To a point, it would become my single largest communication imperative, ahead of even the work I do.

I dont believe in an afterlife or the epitaph (even though I have joked a lot about it) but if there’s one thing that I want to be known for, it is this. The person who gave big shoulders to young people (and in return took their shoulders to stand atop). The two groups (young people and C4E) help each other out and each spiral up!

So that.

However, the thing is, I run it like an ad-hoc program right now. Over the last 5 years, I have worked with 40 kids (if not more) from the ages of 15 to 23 and I have some sense of what works. I also have a sense of what doesn’t. I know why some kids drop midway. I know why some kids are unable to make friends. I know why some And I want to make it better. I want to put a structure to it. I want to write a 78-page plan that each person has to follow once they get into SoG. I want the plan to be a powerful template that each young person could follow to become a grand-slam success. I want it to be like a sure-shot road to success.

I know, I know that am merely thinking wishfully. The kind of thing I want to create and the kind of aukaat I have, they are two very different things. But then, if I don’t take shots out of my aukaat, why am I even here?

Over the next few days, I will work on it and like most things, build this in public. If you have any thoughts, any ideas, or any specific things that I can do to make this program better, please do let me know!

Over and out!

Untitled – 26 Aug 2023

A session of freewriting where I rant about things that are at the top of my head. Specially about writing, people and more.

I haven’t written in a while. Except for PowerPoint presentations, emails and occasional tweets. Heck, I am not even writing stinkers to my beloved. At least with those I would get the creativeness out of the way. I’ve forgotten the joy that I felt when I wrote. I miss it. Each time I said a smart thing or created an amazing alliteration or planted an easter egg (or a 💣) or shuffled a word or two to make the text look better, I would love the feeling and I would clap at myself. You know, how Chris did for himself?

Most times I wrote in the past, I would write about inane things that no one else in the world would care about. It could be about places I’ve been to, things I did or even my love for Diet Coke (which I haven’t had in more than 3 months). See this.

Often I would write about things clouding my head. I will get into freewriting and then before publishing, redact a few things (and copy-paste those onto Roam or whatever notetaking app I was using at the time). I would take all the topics that I am thinking about and then write a note about each. Often the act of writing would give me some clarity. I am the kind that thinks while talking or writing. I can’t deep-think in my head. These freewriting sessions have given me a lot of clarity on a lot of things that I have been struggling to find an answer to. May be that’s what I’d do today?

Let’s try.

A/ Projects.

So, I like the idea of a project-first life. The day-to-day rigmarole is not for me. A project life is where you are immersed in a project with your 100%. While you are on it, you dont have the time to think of anything else. It’s like flying a plane or operating a medical emergency. At a time, you can fly one plane (or operate on one person) and while you do that, you need to be there with your 100% attention. And you get a break after you are done with that project and you get onto the next one. This is because I spent my formative years as an event manager. I would do high-intensity corporate events and would have no time to think or work or read or distract myself with things, I would do the event and then come back to the next one. And in the middle, get ample breaks to recuperate, think, dream, chase hobbies etc.

In fact, I think, life as an event manager was good. I want to get back to it. ISTG I do. But I am not sure how. There is no way I’d get to make a billion dollars with it. And at this time there’s nothing else I want more than a billion dollars. In cash or equivalents. Not in valuation.

So that. Come to think of it, what I do right now (communication / marketing etc) doesn’t give me a shot at a billion either. Truth be told, my current occupation happened because of COVID-19. I was lucky that I could speak well and understood marketing. I was lucky that I had access to people that gave me work. I was lucky that I could create opportunities. I was lucky that people agreed to work with me and help me build C4E. I am lucky that these people now care for C4E and do it more than I do; to the point that I am no longer required.

All of this happened as an outcome of lucky accidents. Nothing was deliberate. I flowed with time. And that served me ok to the point that we are a good business with good people and ok work.

And this is what makes me think – if I could be deliberate with things and move things in a certain manner, we would probably be a great business with great people and great work. And that’s what I need to move towards.

B/ Writing

The other day, Sonali told me something cool. She said the number one writing advice that Neil Gaiman gives to others is, “finish things”.

And that I think is what ails me. Not just with writing but with everything. I am great at ideating, thinking, staring. I am able to put in the resources needed to get things off the ground. But I lose interest soon after and I move on to the next one. Aditya Sir diagnosed it and told me that once I solve a problem in my head, I assume that I have solved it – without putting pen to paper or without making the actual effort to solve it. Which is so true! I mean I dont see the sense in solving it once I know how to solve it. The entire idea is to challenge your brains. And will. And may be the ability to finish? Lol!

The thing is, if I were to die tomorrow, the epitaph would say, “Here lies a man who started a thousand projects but didn’t finish even a single one”. Maybe I need someone to execute ideas. Right now, I have partners who work with me on ideas and that is great (someone co-owns those ideas along with me and allows me to co-parent and help do better with the idea) but I think we need an execution team. A set of people that know what Like a SWAT team that just goes and executes. Long ago I knew of a billionaire who had a team whose only job was to execute things – from planning his birthday party to setting up multi-million dollar manufacturing plants to fixing things that typically look impossible to outsiders.

So as a writer, I need to finish more things. Book 2, short film, 90-90-1, 1000 x 1000 – there are at least a hundred writing projects that I can work on but I don’t. No, the ink has not dried. No, the fun I had with writing hasn’t stopped fun-ning.

And as an entrepreneur, get a crack team of sorts to get those things done. The question is, why would the crack team work with me? What can I offer them? I am not the mad genius that attracts others. I am not that bad boy man that the world finds enamouring. I dont have the charisma that moves the mountains. I dont have the panache that gets young people to want to drop everything and follow you off the cliff! I am just another middle-aged man, past his prime, wanting to change the world. So that’s what I need to think about. Any ideas?

C/ People

The sum total of whatever I’ve written above is two things – shipping and people. And while I may be okay with the second one, I need action on the first one. And that, ladies and gents is my thing for the day – the quart of writing, projects-first work, an execution team and people.

Over and out.

The Need-Barrier-Solution-Release Quartet of Marketing

Each marketing problem can easily be broken into 4 simple questions that you can answer to arrive at the solution to even the most challenging problems.

Today’s day 6. I missed yesterday. I tried but there was a social obligation that I couldn’t get out of. So, let’s go. 

So marketing to women is a tough one for me. Multiple reasons. Lemme talk about one of those. That I am a man. And that means at a deeper, personal level I dont understand women. I may read a lot, I may consume a lot of literature, I may do deep research, I may create a panel of women to talk to, I may do whatever. My experience and understanding will remain superficial at best. One of my writing teachers told me that while writing unless I feel like the person living that emotion, I will never do justice to what am writing. The same probably goes for marketing. Till I can feel the need-barrier-solution-release journey in my bones, I will never be able to do justice. 

In fact, this need-barrier-solution-release is what I can sum whole of marketing in. Lemme talk about each. From the lens of women. 

A/ Need. Aka Want.

I know these two are different but for argument’s sake and to keep things simple, let’s assume these are one and I will use these interchangeably. So there is this need that the woman wants a solution to. The need could be any of the following – look good (for whatever reason / occasion – wedding, date, family function, every day etc), take care of the family (nutrition, health, budgets, holidays, etc), manage her career better (navigate politics, balance work-family, provide for the family, etc), fly despite all the shackles imposed by Indian culture and more. 

Often the woman is clear about her need. She may not be able to express it in words but deep down, she knows what she needs / wants. And to fulfil that, she starts to look for solutions. Often in the shape of products, services, etc. 

To make this easier to explain, let’s take Renu for example.

Renu is 35, a fictional aam-aurat from a regular tier-1 city in North India, a tier-2 locality and middle-middle class. She got married at 26 and has a 7-year-old son and a 4-year-old daughter. The husband works at a bank as a manager. She doesn’t work apart from managing the house and wants to give the best to her family, especially the “raja beta”. She doesn’t even know that her managing the house qualifies as work. And since she’s a typical Indian, she is a maximiser and wants more value from each rupee she spends. 

PS: I will use Renu as a recurring archetype in these posts. Over time I will create more archetypes that can encapsulate about 80% of women in India. 

B/ Back to Renu. And Barriers.

Now Renu’s want of “giving the best” could take numerous shapes – education, nutrition, clothes, experiences, extra-curricular classes, comfort and all that. And she has a limited budget and limited understanding. Her barriers are money and knowledge. The money bit, she can’t solve for. And she knows it. She may want to work at some point but knows that it may not work out. The knowledge bit, she knows she can figure. 

So Renu would probably go around seeking knowledge. She would read magazines, talk to elders, connect with others that have given a good life to their children, ask neighbours, look up content on her WhatsApp (shes not gonna do any deep research), experiment with a few things and then probably invest a large chunk of money and time and attention into the son’s life. 

C/ Solutions. 

As a marketer, you have two potential paths from hereon. Two potential approaches to the solution. 

One. Peddle your wares. Make a quick buck and move on. Of course, spend money on acquiring Renu as a customer (CAC) and hope like hell that she spends a lot over a long period (LTV). 

Two. You decide to help Renu solve this information barrier (and not just sell a solution). Your CAC is spent on educating, knowing very well that she may pick a competitor once she’s aware. You expert LTV to come to you as an outcome of the newer Renus that you would be able to acquire as a result of the salience that you would have built, thanks to your attempts at helping Renu bridge the knowledge gap. 

D/ Release.

Once Renu what to do for her child, and she actually does it, she would pause and catch her breath. Before she jumps head first into the next need. Which may or may not be for her child. But she would carry the experience of this one loop with her. Each time she goes through this loop and she interacts with others (people, brands, influencers etc etc) she would “train” herself into doing better the next time she goes thru this loop. 

And as a marketer, your job is to walk alongside her, if not just ahead of her where you pave the road that she would walk on! 

So that! 

Think about all the brands you love. At each opportunity, they would take the second route where they solve for one of the barriers and not just “sell”. And that ladies and gents is the idea for the day. And the post for the day. 

PS: I am not sure if this is helpful to anyone. However, it did make me sit down and think about things. If you are reading this, please do tell me how do I make these posts better for you. And hopefully, over the next few days, I will find things that make sense. 

Index: 90-90-1 Project. Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 (missed), 6

Pink Tax in India

Brands and businesses often impose an additional, discriminatory “Pink Tax” on women. In this piece, I explore it in more detail.

It’s 6:30 PM. I was supposed to write this in the morning but I woke up late, dived head-first into the day and still reeling from all the work. I will no longer stay in bed beyond 7 AM. I have been waking up without alarm last few days but I will start using it now. I can NOT miss this 90-90-1, especially now that I found out that I want to write about and learn about marketing to women.  

So, today’s post is about Pink Tax.

What is Pink Tax? 

In simple words, it’s the extra money that women need to pay for products that are apparently tailor-made for them.

For example, shaving razors. Multiple women told me (see the disclaimer at the end of this post) that a women’s razor is at least 20% extra (than a man’s) even though it functions the same. The makers do the smart thing of doing communication around it that justifies the inflated price. In the case of the razors, apparently, they say that the blade and the rubber thingy in between the blades are coated with Aloe Vera that keeps the skin of the user safe. They also say that the design of the razors “glides” smoother on the curvy skin. They added a roller to make the functioning better.

I mean wow!
To me, all these are mere gimmicks to charge more. 

Other categories where I am told this pink tax exists in India are garments (the same tee-shirt for women is about 10% more expensive (as per pop research I did), travel (multiple women told me that they get fleeced more), jewellery (simple things like rings are gram-for-gram more expensive for women), healthcare (contraceptives, condoms etc), personal care products (does) and more. 

The pink tax is valid if the products and services rendered require additional effort. For example, a haircut. In general, women tend to have longer hair and thus the person working on hair for women will probably need to make additional effort. And thus the additional compensation makes sense. 

But for categories like razors, garments, health products and others, I think it sucks that the pink tax exists. 

So, why does the pink tax exist?

To be honest, I couldn’t think of any specific reason apart from corporate greed. From whatever I know the products are not really different from what they make for male audiences. To “expand” their offering and create newer markets, businesses create these products gimmicks and try and charge more. And of course, they would justify the same by throwing information, justification and a combination of some of Cialdini’s principles of influence at us!

Anyhow.

So pink tax exists and there is no denying it. Just that a lot of people aren’t aware of it. And for women as consumers, better awareness will translate into more value for money. 

While writing about this post, I realised that there seems to be a lack of content and literature about the pink tax in India. Apart from one post on Mint, an article on Outlook, a BusinessLine piece by a professor of marketing from IIM Amritsar talking about research her students did and a Logical Indian piece, I couldn’t find anything worthwhile. The piece by the professor is worth reading, in case you want some data.

I wanted to research more and learn more but I am not sure what more to read. If you have access to some work on this space, please do point me to it. I am beginning to think that the pink tax may not even exist in India and this could be a mere anecdotal theory that has got more wind than it deserves or merits.

Guess this is about it. See you tomorrow.

PS: This was a painfully short post and a disappointing piece of text. When I come back tomorrow morning (for sure) to write, I hope I have something substantive to contribute.

PPS: For this post, I leaned onto what I already knew about marketing, what I found via desk research and what members of the #SoG told me in one of our #janHitMeJaari sessions. All errors are mine and please help me fix those. 

PPPS: As I write these over the next 3 months or so, I plan to share early drafts with some people. If you want to get those, give me feedback before I publish, lemme me know and I will add you to a WA group. Lol, I love these groups ;P 

Index: 90-90-1 Project. Day 1, 2, 3, 4

Marketing to Women in 2023

How in 2023 brands need to take a stand and do more than mere communication. Specifically for cohorts like women!

Today’s day 3 of the 90-90-1. In case you don’t know about this, you may read this post to get a sense of what C and I are trying to do. The last two days were spent trying to build a habit of clearing the calendar and not doing anything else but writing. At some point in time (hopefully today), I want to start talking about marketing. After all, that’s what I decided yesterday. 

The times we live in are, well, interesting. The world around us is changing faster than you can blink and it’s still the same. We now have self-driving cars, chatGPT and LK-99. And yet we have countries divided over religion and race and color and all that. As a marketer, the job has never been more exciting. Or tougher. People no longer hide behind veils and mumble disapprovals. They now assert their individuality and talk about things that don’t fit into their value system. And when they do that, they are louder than the loudest cheer of fans in a stadium and more articulate than the politicians at the altar. And they spread their ideas with a distribution that brands are envious of. 

So, conventional wisdom would say, tread carefully. 

And this is where I sort of disagree.

Why tread carefully? As a brand, while you are out there to make a profit and create shareholder value, you have the obligation to lead the charge and herald people into the new. You need to play the role of an instigator, a politician, a pastor, a provocateur, a pop star, a painter. As the brand (and you as the brand manager, the custodian of the brand) you need to take stands. And have what it takes to face the music. Or the cacophony. 

Truth be told, many brands have tried this and may I say, bowed down. Tanishq had to take down one of their ads and issue a public apology when they took a brave stand of showcasing an ad featuring an interfaith couple. If you are curious, you may see it here (on a politician’s Twitter handle). Yesterday, Aditi showed #teamSoG an ad by Nike where they took the brave decision of featuring an athlete that apparently had disrespected America’s national anthem. I can’t imagine that happening in India. Staying with Nike and what’s happening around us, I found this beautiful message where they are imploring us to Not Do It! Isn’t this the exact responsibility brand custodians have? 

We need brands and businesses to take such stands in India and talk about what’s happening around us. There have been some starts. Future Generali (disclaimer – I had featured their CMO on a podcast) has been taking bold bets. One of their campaigns celebrated same-sex relationships and they did so in as loud a manner as they could for that small cohort – hoarding at one of the most popular junctions in Mumbai at least. I am not sure if they did it at other places too. Axis Bank did Dil Se Open. Kotak has been the harbinger of creating communication that showcases our diversity as a nation. While there are starts, we need things to go mainstream and we need more businesses and brands to take a stand. But then, that would require you to have some spine. No? 

As a passive participant in the communication industry, all I can do is stay hopeful that someday the eyes would open up. And with each thing that I work on, I can push things a bit, if not a lot.

Lemme give an example. 

Women. 

As a cohort. As a consumer set. As the “niche” that every brand wants to be pally with. Each brand I work on, without an exception, – from hotels to financial services to healthcare to travel to everything else wants to be the new best friend to women. And it’s not surprising to see why. Almost 48.4% of India is women. Less than 20% are engaged in “active, meaningful, paid work” outside the farm and casual labour space. And I am not even counting women that are part of the unorganized economy and the ones that “work” at home. 

Even if I consider the ones in active work, more and more women are choosing to take control. Of how they live, work, think, operate and spend their money. And of their families. And have an influence over the money of their friends and relatives and neighbors. Women now assert their opinions and voices and dictate where their wallets open up.

While brands understand this trend, they are failing to do the right thing.

In the next few lines, I will make a few statements about what women want. From the vantage point of being a man. Not to mansplain but to learn more. If I am wrong, which I probably would be, PLEASE help me correct. 

So, coming back to women and brands, I refuse to see why or how brands create products or communication. I mean, no woman wants a pen that comes in a pink body but writes in blue. Most women don’t really care about “whiter” intimate body parts. No woman wants to “have a happy period”. 

What women probably want is equality (not special treatment). They probably want marketers to have a deeper understanding of challenges specific to them. Women probably want solutions to the problems they face as individuals – if that solution is pink or blue or black or whatever, it’s cool. Brands need to arrive at solutions first and then think of colors. Brands need to take a stand and not amplify the already deep-seated biases against women. I mean why would a brand create communication about how a woman eats last and whatever is left after her entire family has eaten? Rather, why can’t we have more pieces of work that encourage everyone to Share The Load? 

So that. 

I know my understanding and knowledge of these issues is flawed. I know that I don’t understand women. I know I need to do better if I want to make a dent. And that is what I would try and work on over the next few days. 

While I am on the journey to do so, come help me! Tell me when I go wrong. Point me at resources that allow me to learn. Share things that I can read. You know where to reach me! 

Over and out. 

PS: As I write these over the next 3 months or so, I plan to share early drafts with some people. If you want to get those, give me feedback before I publish, lemme me know and I will add you to a WA group. Lol, I love these groups ;P 

Index: 90-90-1 Project. Day 1, 2, 3