180321 – Morning Pages

The morning pages has evolved into a friend of sorts where I go and rant and cry and wail about things that I cant talk to anyone else about. Here’s one such post.

6:38 AM

For all the ‘living in public’ that I want to do, there’s something that I want to talk to someone about and I don’t know who to. And it involves someone else and without putting names or context, it would be of no use. So, at some point of time in life, I want to be able to write about it in public. But as of today, it will go on my echoChamber. It is big enough that it’s making me rethink my entire way of working / living / thinking / doing. Anyhow. Later.

Before I go ahead, the track of the day is this.

Next. The folks at Producerland announced their lineup of people that they have selected. I saw their profiles and I am slightly disappointed with it. Of course, one large reason is that I did not get through, but the other big one is that a lot of those people are from established production companies in India. I don’t think those people need networking. They are anyway in the market with access to capital, ideas, and talent. It is people like me that need it. Oh, Debasmita, the writer and producer at Bin Bulaaye made it. So that is nice. I don’t work with her anymore but she is exactly the kind that will benefit from this. Super ideas, talented at multiple things, great human being, interested in telling stories that have legs beyond song and dance.

Oh, while writing this, an epiphany happened. I use this blog as a friend. In the sense, I talk about things that I don’t know who else to talk about. Most of my friends do not understand the world I operate in. My family has no clue what I do. My Board of Directors often does not get context. The significant other is almost non-existent. And in absence of all these, I think it is this blog that gives me some sort of grounding. I can blurt out what’s on my head. I get the load out of the way and I can do more things. In fact, each morning, I look up to waking up and writing on morning pages. I often make notes while I sleep, about things that I would write the next day. And then I write! And then I feel so light that I could fly away ;P Ok. Enough.

So, food. Remember how I spoke about my izzat being at stake yesterday? I said…

I have to have to HAVE TO avoid hospitals at all costs. I need to get going. So, here’s the thing. I will gun for a 2-days fast. And then I will go on for as long as I can. Really. This time I will do it.Β Izzat ki baat hai.Β I will eventually add some sort of workout to my regimen. But I need to get the hernia operated on before that. Maybe I will start with dance or yoga?

From Morning Pages on 17th Mar.

I ate breakfast, a lunch, an evening snack, an ice-cream around dinner, and then a dinner! There is no way I am going to lose weight :(. The saving grace is that I did walk some 14K steps. And that too purposefully. Phew!

The excuse I gave myself is that I had a COVID scare and I need to eat and get nutrition but now the test has come out and it tells me that I am negative. So that’s ok. And yeah, the test is as uncomfortable as you imagine it to be. I hate hospitals!

Wait. I will try again today. I will try and not eat. Let’s see how it goes. I just need to get started.

I think this is about it. No. Wait. Another thing. Yesterday I learned the importance of money. Or the lack of it.

While I was fuming and I did not have anyone to talk about it, I took to Twitter and posted a rant about how I am gareeb and all that. The trigger was that that there are way too many things I want to do and none of them will probably make money and thus I will have to keep pouring money into those things and that means I will need to have infinite money. Right now, I am very far from it. And there’s no way I can seem to find a solution to my money woes. I mean I have some work on my plate these days and if this continues, I will be ok. But the large, infinite source of capital that I may need is still missing πŸ™

While I was wailing in misery, Ajeet Sir had an interesting perspective on my quandary. Here…

From AK’s tweet here.

Now, this is super duper interesting. Multiple reasons. A, he validated that I have the ability! Yay! External validation #ftw! B, he slapped me on the face that I dont put in the effort. I dont know how to put efforts. I need to get out of the current financial mess that I have got myself into and along the way find an answer to this. I think I need to relook at how I operate in life. I think I am ok with taking risks. The thing that I suck at is ability to convert those risks into actionable, tangible steps that take me closer to where I want to be. I need some sort of a coach or something. Damn…

Anyhow, I am done with the pages. Feel a little relieved that what I was earlier. Let’s see how today is. So that. And to end the post, here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages – 96
  • #aPicADay – 77
  • 10K steps a day – 1
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 8
  • #noCoke – 8
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0

170321 – Morning Pages

A report on how I spent yesterday. No forward-looking statements in this one, except my attempt at fasting for at least 48 hours.

7:16

I just woke up. Still tired. Groggy. Listening to Jagjit Singh talking about Teri Khushboo wale khat.

I got my COVID test yesterday. It was painful, at least for me. I am told that it’s not really bad and I can see why it’s not bad. But to be honest but then my pain tolerance is pathetic. More than physical pain, my tolerance for any other kind of pain is even lesser. Like I was at the emergency ward at Kokilaben when I took the test (yeah, the swabs for COVID tests are collected at the emergency ward) and I saw various emergency cases being rolled into the hospital. There was an elderly woman who wasn’t breathing. A young girl had fractured her legs. A patient was being moved from emergency to general ward.

And since the test is done by the doctors in the emergency, I had to wait for about an hour. Which is understandable. And then the test was done. And it was painful af, like I told you guys already. And no, this test was not required. I am not at risk but I still wanted to rule out any possibility. So that.

But when I was filling the form at the hospital, they asked me to fill in the names of two people that they could inform in case of emergency. This is when you realize who really matters for you. You know, who you want around you when you are probably facing a life and death situation. And truth be told, I could think of just one name and I put that one name. I mean I wanted to put my sister’s name but she’s like a million miles away and there’s no way she can be bothered in case of emergency.

So that. The other highlight of the day has to be all the food that I ate. You know, like a regular human being, I had breakfast, lunch, evening snack, dinner, and few in-betweens. I think the reason I feel groggy this morning is probably because I ate all those carbs and processed things shit. I have to have to HAVE TO avoid hospitals at all costs. I need to get going. So, here’s the thing. I will gun for a 2-days fast. And then I will go on for as long as I can. Really. This time I will do it. Izzat ki baat hai. I will eventually add some sort of workout to my regimen. But I need to get the hernia operated on before that. Maybe I will start with dance or yoga?

The other thing I want to talk about is my inability to afford a better house. I’ve been meaning to shift from the current house and get to one that is a little more spacious. And I want to live in a newish building. But then aukaat tells me that I cant. I also have to get it off my head that I actually saw some houses with a broker. I almost finalized a house that was as plush as houses get in Mumbai and at least as spacious as I wanted. I made an offer that the landlord accepted. I had almost given the token to block it. But at the last minute, I pulled back. I had to apologize to the broker and the new landlord and the universe. I felt really bad and it was one of those tough decisions that I’ve had to make.

If I zoom back and look at it from up top, I think my decision-making muscle was fucked. I should have considered the costs upfront. And then never got into a hunt. Then, while I looked for a place, I should’ve done the maths and not went to houses that I couldn’t afford. Then, even when I looked at places, I shouldn’t have made an offer. I should’ve thought about it. And once I made the offer, I shouldn’t have cancelled. Zubaan ki damn keemat, bro! Anyhow. So that.

Work seems to be picking up on all the projects that I am on. This means I will have some more money to play with. And cause movements with. Yay! I just need to figure out how these continue to grow and accrue.

So that. And to end the post, here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages – 95
  • #aPicADay – 76
  • 10K steps a day – 0 (couldn’t manage 10K)
  • OMAD – 0 (ate a million meals)
  • #noCoffee – 7
  • #noCoke – 7
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0

With this, its over and out. See you guys tomorrow.

160321 – Morning Pages

Quick update on the COVID scare, chasing rockstars across the world, inability to stay hungry for 48 hours. And more.

7:00. Hello hello. Morning!

So I got the COVID-19 scare yesterday.

Someone I met on Wednesday of last week got COVID. And I was in a closed room with him for about an hour. And then I sat in that room and ate. And that meant I am at high risk. Since then I’ve met quite a few people (and I have been to various Starbucks outlets). If I had to trace all the people I met and all the places I was to, the list would run into miles!

As I was making that list, thankfully I was told that they traced their source of infection and it’s from someone they met after they met me. So I am more or less safe. Phew!

Even though I don’t have any symptoms, I am more or less safe. I would still get myself tested to be sure. I owe it to all those people that I met that I am not a carrier and if I am, I need to alert those people.

Also, apart from this gentleman, there are few more people that I know that are really close that have been infected. So, the pandemic is clearly not over. Those numbers of some 1500-2000 daily cases don’t paint the real extent of the pandemic. And since everyone is almost out and about and is being careless about things, I am imposing some news rules on myself. Here they are.

  • 1/ Avoid closed, confined spaces for a few days. Goodbye, Starbucks :(.
  • 2/ Never take off the mask even if it’s a meeting that requires me to show my face.
  • 3/ Get a lot more particular about using a sanitizer.
  • 4/ Start working on my immunity (you know, Vitamin C, workout, etc). Lol. Workout.

I am also closeting myself at home for the next 2-3 days, just to be sure. That means, my productivity would take a hit. And that means I need to thank the decision to buy a writing table all those years ago (I think I bought my table in 2014 or something when I lived with Satya at Nahar). Back then I was clearly the guy who liked the idea of buying things. I don’t know when I became that pseudo-minimalist that did not want anything in the house and is ok with just a mattress plonked onto the floor and call it home.

Also, I have realized that the kind of life I live, I meet so many people all the time. If I were to ever get it, I would be at very very high risk. You know, super-spreader.

Anyhow. Moving on.

Here’s the track of the day…

Jagjit Singh was a magician!

While listening to Jagjit Singh today, I realized something. I want to be a part of the crew for a rockstar (or a religious leader, a musician, a speaker, or someone that people across the world are willing to pay money for) that travels the world. I mean, do a search on Youtube for ‘Jagjit Singh in Concert’ and you’d see that he’s been to EACH corner of the world with his crew. If you see some of the videos, you’d spot similar faces as backing musicians. I am sure even the crew would be more or less same. What if I am part of such a crew? I could actually be traveling the world and will get to entertain people and make money and all that. Everything I want in life will happen!

I remember when I did events, we used a talent management agency and people from that agency would travel along with the artists. While they added almost zero value, they did get to travel. I need to figure if I could become someone like that. #note2self.

But wait.

I don’t want a new career option per se. I need to get some sort of a war chest. Right now the coffers are empty. This is one of those rare times when I want to say no and want to be ok with where I am. Rather than chasing the rockstars, I will merely figure what I can augment that allows me to travel and meet more people with what I am doing. Let’s see. Another #note2self.

In other news, I had decided yesterday that I’d try to fast for 48 hours. I was ok till about 8 PM (about 20 hours) but then thanks to all the thoughts in my head about the COVID thingy, I got stressed enough to order food on a whim. And I ate. And then I ate some chips. And then I ate another full meal. And I ate a dessert. In all, I would’ve had some 2000 calories. Grrr. There is no way am getting fit. Any of you has any ideas?

Coming to streaks…

  • Morning Pages – 94
  • #aPicADay – 75 (at least)
  • 10K steps a day – 0 (couldn’t manage 10K)
  • OMAD – 1 (ate between the window of 8 and 10 PM)
  • #noCoffee – 6
  • #noCoke – 6
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0

And with that, it’s a warp for the morning pages. Time to get some work done. From home where I live. Damn!

PS: I must talk about home. And how where I live is not really home. Let’s see when I get to it.

150321 – Morning Pages

A report on how I spent my Sunday. And a challenge to self for the next 48 hours.

7:24. Mumbai.

Just woke up. Eyes are fogged but I feel ok. So that’s cool.

Yesterday was cool. Was actually good. I thugged it out to be honest. Went for a drive. Met friends. Ate like a pig, had some hundred meals (remember OMAD?), did not walk as much as I wanted to. Slept multiple times during the day. Shopped. Met a few work colleagues (without actually doing any work). Basically, took it easy. And for some reason, I think I enjoyed that. So so unlike me!

Anyhow, here’s a pic from the drive to Bhavali Dam.

This is a raw image.

After the drive, met a couple of friends, even if it was for a bit. Went househunting. I know. Again. When I was looking for a place, I saw 4-5 options and when I was going through the alternatives, I realised that I dont like any houses that are in old buildings. I need the building to be a virgin. Lol. So, lets see when I find a new place.

I also went shopping. To my regular jaunt at Cottonworld. It is at these places that you realize that you’ve put on weight like a bloated pig. Even the person at the shop could see that I have put on weight (advantages and problems of being a regular). I anyhow had to buy clothes (I hadn’t bought in a while and the ones I had, had so many holes in em that I was getting judged by even strangers). As always, I was in and out of the place in less than 10 minutes and I bought a few shirts and a pair of shorts. I just need to buy a pair of pants that I can wear to work meetings and some tees that I can wear on a day-to-day basis. And I am set for the next 2-3 years.

COVID is making a come back in Mumbai. That means we are staring at another lockdown. In the last one, I think I was ok with how things were around. But if there’s another lockdown I don’t think I’d be able to cope up. Or may be I will. This time I actually have work that will keep me busy. So let’s see.

So what else? Not sure. Lemme reach Starbucks before I publish. May be I will write a bit for book2?

At Starbucks. Just called for a tea. I think I know what I would attempt. A 48-hour reset. Last meal was at around 1 AM last night today morning. So that means I will eat on Wednesday night or something. Let’s see if I last that long. I mean I can, if I have something happening. I tend to eat a lot when I am getting bored or when I am stressed. I need to keep myself occupied and I think I can manage without eating. Let’s see how it goes.

As I wrap this up, yesterday was a bad day for my streaks. I couldn’t do OMAD. Neither could I walk around for 10K steps. Rest I could. Here’s a report…

  • Morning Pages – 93
  • #aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date)
  • 10K steps a day – 0 (did about 7K but that was regular walking and not purposeful one)
  • OMAD – 0 (ate like a Pig)
  • #noCoffee – 5
  • #noCoke – 5
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0

With this, over and out.

140321 – Morning Pages

Quick and dirty update from how I spent Saturday. Wish I the time to write more. The day was among the best.

6:24 AM, Mumbai.
Completed this somewhere on the Nashik highway at 10ish.

This is going to be one of those pages where I want to write a lot (I think I have a lot to write) but since I am short of time, I will not be able to get a lot of words in. I have to be at someplace real early. I had to be out and about by 6 AM, to be honest, but thanks to some snafu, I am still at home and that means I can get some words in. If not a lot, I can at least get a ToC of sorts in. Yeah, I have a table of contents of things that I want to talk about.

Here it is.

A. SG’s interview. There’s apparently some interview that I gave when #tnks came out where I have bared my soul. A stranger can read that and get to know who I am and what I think about. In that, I have even talked about my hatred for pets! To make matters worse, it has my photo on it. I need to do something about it. I can’t have my opinions floating around on the Internet like that. Lol. The entire life has been lived in making my life an open and public affair with this blog πŸ˜€

Need to find that interview and “fix” it.

B. Poker. A few days ago I was in this weird mood where I did not know what to do. None of my friends was around. Taarak Mehta felt like a drag. Brooklyn Nine-Nine was not funny no more. I couldn’t sleep. I had had enough of everything. I somehow remembered my love for Poker and after I don’t know how many months, I put money on a poker game. It was on Pokerstars and I sucked as bad I did when I played regularly.

Poker is one of those things that I think I can be really good at. There is an element of luck but you can control it to a large part. It just needs two things – knack for the game and the time required to build that knack. I suspect poker is like chess. You need to have some sort of inclination and “gift” for it and then you need to back it with consistent and focussed effort. You know, more you play, better you get.

Wait. Isnt this true with everything and anything? I guess!

C. SoG Grant. I saw a post on my Instagram last night and I reached this page on Thejesh GN’s blog. He’s started a grant in his mother’s name where he’s supporting independent creators on anything that they want to work on. I love the idea. I am so inspired that I decided on the spot that I want to start something. When I was growing up, I did not have the patron or the resources to chase what I wanted to. Now that I have some resources, I want to support others. An annual grant could be a great thing. Need to put things in motion. #note2self

D. Swiggy. Last night I was hungry and I decided to order something to eat. Good thing is that I ordered on Swiggy and that means the order was never delivered. Which is ok. I understand the business is run by people and they can often fuck up. But the way they handle these things is what needs fixing. The customer service is non-existent and the way they speak with you, they lack empathy. They assume that an order is a physical thing and if you refund the money, the customer is ok. They forget that it’s food delivery and the person on the other side could be hungry. And its well known fact across the world that when you are hungry, you are not the person you are. And you need to talk to hungry, angry, irate people in a different tone / manner etc. I promise I will make it a mini-project and try and teach these people how to be customer-centric and have some empathy.

So that.

E. NA. I also want to talk about this woman, NA, that I met via Lunchclub yesterday. Out of 30 odd people that LC has matched me with, she was only the second that I had wanted to meet.

And I goaded her into meeting me.
And we met.
And it was awesome.
NA is one of the finds of this year so far for me. I hope I can become friends with her and get her to do something with me. More about her on some other day. Today am kinda short of time.

F. Misc. Things that I want to talk about but don’t have time for. 1, I pet a dog at a friend’s place. My first time ever. 2, The realization that I am #foreverAlone and unlucky in love. Every woman that I seem to get close to tends to get away from me. The pattern repeats where these women think that am a loser and move on. 3, The feeling of heaviness and general lethargy and my desperate attempts to get over those. 4, Hunt for a new house (which I am hoping is a little better than the one I am on). 5, I am not sure. I forgot πŸ˜€

G. Streaks. Here.

  • Morning Pages – 92
  • #aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date)
  • 10K steps a day – 1
  • OMAD – 3 (thanks to Swiggy, the streak remains unbroken)
  • #noCoffee – 5
  • #noCoke – 5
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0 (adding this from today on)
  • #book2 – 0 (I REALLY need to start on this!)

So yeah, thats about it. More tomorrow. On a Monday.

130321 – Morning Pages

Update on what’s on the top of my mind. Guess what?

6:35. Thane. Ashi and Parry’s place.

I am in Thane. At Ashima and Parry’s place. I had a meeting this side of the world and I decided to stay back. Ashima is by far the best cook chef I know and if I want to eat good food, I make the trek to Thane to get fed. That’s as far as my indulgence with food takes me. Oh, yesterday I decided that I would fast for 48 hours and reset my gut. I had forgotten that I am going to Ashi’s place. I can’t eat when am with her. Plus the weekend typically is a time when I get to meet friends and that means that I am forced to have something or the other. So it’s impossible to not eat on the weekends. I will try the gut-reset, 48-hour fast from Sunday evening onward. So that.

This is the shot from her window.

Gotham-eque!

In other news, my father got the COVID vaccine. To be honest I did not want them to take the vaccine. For multiple reasons. A, the vaccine is still in the clinical trial and no one knows the long-term effect of the same. B, the shoddiness around the way it is managed in India (the announcements, production, etc) was disheartening. But when I spoke to Kunal and Ashima (the two ports of call for everything medical), both of them affirmed that we must take it. And that’s when I consented. No, my parents don’t really need my consent. They are far more intelligent and aware than I. Plus they know a lot more people and their advisors are even more learned. So that.

This is around the same time that pandemic hit us last year. I remember the biggest thing that came out of the pandemic to me was that I could attend Anjum Sir‘s session on writing. Even though it was on Zoom, I really learned a lot about the process of screenwriting. This piece on Hero’s Journey came as a result of that and the piece made me make friends with so many people!

He’s doing those again but I am unable to attend those this time as I have a lot happening and films need to take the backseat.

Which is ok. I need to consolidate how things are going. I know that all the work I am getting is a knee-jerk response to all the pent-up demand in the businesses. I just need to capitalize and deliver a great output so that these could translate into long-term gigs. I just hate that there’s just 24 hours in the day.

I am also gonna change the way I live and work. I don’t want to talk a lot about work but lately, it’s on the top of my mind these days. So here it goes. Since I am working literally all the time now, I will have to get even more particular with how I spend my time. There’s not a single minute to waste. I have to figure an office space (my productivity goes 100X when I am not working from home and Starbucks tend to get noisy for all the calls that I am supposed to be on). The thing is, a large part of my work is now attending calls (because no in-person meetings) and I often speak and make presentations. Most days I do good with those. That’s not a challenge at all.

The problem is that if there’s some background noise when I speak, it becomes tough to get the point across. There’s anyway a lag imposed by the internet. On top, there’s the speed at which I talk. So I need to find a quiet place where I can talk from.

If I could predict these meetings and other things, I could get into the Maker and Manager (by Paul Graham) zones but most of these are ad-hoc and thus it’s impossible to plan time. This is against the very principle with which I have lived my life. I want nothing more than the independence of time. The gigs that I am on, there’s some flexibility but I’d want more. Lol. When I did not have work, I wanted work. Now that I have work, I want flexibility. πŸ˜€

So that. Let’s see what I decide. Maybe I’ll just get a fancy house (now that I can afford it) and turn one of the bedrooms into a co-working space! Or get some bungalow in Aram Nagar and convert it into a cafe. Lol. Wishful thinking ka raaja! I really have hazaron khwahishen. And that, ladies and gents, is the track of the day. Here!

Track of the day?

So, as I end this post, in terms of streaks, I did all but the walking one. I had a busy day and hence I could not walk a lot. Here’s the list.

  • Morning Pages – 91
  • #aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date)
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 2
  • #noCoffee – 4
  • #noCoke – 4
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0 (adding this from today on)
  • #book2 – 0 (I REALLY need to start on this!)

That’s about it. Over and out. See you guys tomorrow.

120321 – Morning Pages

Nothing special to report but I did not want to break the streak. Here we go.

6:39 AM. Andheri. Just woke up. Eyes are groggy and my neck hurts. Old age is a bitch! Yesterday was like any other day. Work. Walk. Dreams. Life has seemed to find a groove. It’s funny that life always does. When the lockdown happened, life was disrupted but it took a few days to get settled in the new reality. When I went to Goa, took me a few days to get in the groove. But I got into it. Now that I am here for 2 weeks, I think I am beginning to fall into the routine. Life’s amazing. Love it! Even if I am delt raw hands once in a while, it’s cool.

Onto morning pages. There’s nothing that I want to write today, for a change. May be I will take a break and write something in a bit?

Ok, so now I am at Starbucks at Powai. Had to come here because I had a meeting on this side of the town and I want to avoid all the traffic in Mumbai. Plus, I am wearing pants. And a shirt. I am literally spilling out of both of these. I have to do something about my size and weight. Plus, I am feeling bloated. I dont know why. I mean I eat all sort of crap but when I was a kid, I would never have these issues. Damn, old age!

I think an easy way to fix this is to reset the gut. A cursory glance at the Internet tells me that I can reset it simply by fasting for 72 hours and then eating things like probiotics, kombuchas, leafy veggies, and all that.

I am not sure if I can do 72, especially since I am supposed to be at Ashima’s tonight. Maybe 48? The last thing I ate was at 4 PMish yesterday. Let’s see if I can manage to not eat till at least 2 PM tomorrow (am a guest at Ashi’s place and I can’t force my shenanigans onto her family)!

Oh, I am also supposed to wear shoes (which I am dutifully carrying in a bag and will wear 10 minutes before the meeting) and thankfully I can’t spill out of those. Phew. Some silver lining at least. Chalo, let’s see how a day goes when am wearing legit clothes! The kinds normal people wear on normal days.

I think that’s about it. More ideas are not happening. Will probably take a break and come back tomorrow. Lemme report on the streaks. Here we go…

  • Morning Pages – 90
  • #aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date)
  • 10K steps a day – 3
  • OMAD – 1
  • #noCoffee – 3
  • #noCoke – 3
  • #book2 – 0 (I REALLY need to start on this!)

That’s about it. Over and out. See you guys tomorrow.

110321 – Morning Pages

Wore pants and shirt yesterday. Here’s a report card. And of course, chats about other things.

8:26. Andheri. So, I wore pants yesterday. Which was as terrible as it sounds. It sucked like mad. Worse was that I wore a shirt to go with it. And that shirt did not fit me. I could not breathe in it. And that’s the shirt that was like a baggy fit for me. You know, loose. The kinds where I could stuff one more person in and still stay sane. I am that unfit. To a point that even Instagram is showing me ads of fitness clubs and gyms and all that. Kya hoga mera?

Anyhow. Morning Pages.

Yesterday was fun. I recorded my second ever video conversation ever (the first was I think with Mihir (Karkare) that we never released; thank God for that). This one was with Sheba Maini. She is brilliant. She made me talk about things that I never thought I was capable of saying out loud on the Internet. And she made me agree to come on a video. Wow.

If you guys need someone to coach you and give you direction, Sheba is it! Her Linkedin profile is here. When I first spoke to her, in the 3rd minute of our chat, she could point out what afflicted me and what I need to do to get out of that. I was dumbfounded by how well she could read my mind. Over a Zoom call. In less than 5 minutes. You must consider her.

PS: Sheba is a client at Podium and a mentor so I may be biased.
PPS: If you are curious what is my problem, read this one and specifically, point #5.

Next. I met this young kid (JS) that I know from TRS days. We met for dinner (see streaks below). He is now onto his own business and set up and he seems to be on this amazing path that excites, inspires, and scares me. At 21, he’s sure where he wants to. And he’s acting on it. At 21, I did not know how to tie my shoelaces. The future is bright. Reminded me that I need to hang out with more such people. I think I am at my happiest when I see that I am making a difference in other people’s lives, especially when it comes to their work. I am a nincompoop if the conversations are around relationships and all that. I often can’t relate to what they are talking about and how to help with things. I even zone about when people talk about their lives and relationships. But when they talk work, ooh, la, la! I need to find a way to accelerate this and do this for more people.

In other news, Anjum Rajabali Sir’s next film, Toofan was just announced yesterday. This is one film that I cant wait to watch. For multiple reasons. For starters, it’s Anjum Sir’s film. Then this is about sports. Then its mass-market entertainer. Plus it has Farhan Akhtar, a guy that I look up to for his work (and nothing else). What else could you ask for? And this is EXACTLY the kind of films I want to make! Let’s see when that happens.

PSA: he’s taking sessions for aspiring screenwriters these days. See if you can attend.

So that’s the large updates from me on yesterday.

On streaks (that I started to track publicly since yesterday)…

  • Morning Pages – 89! Wow! I am surprised at myself!
  • #aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date)
  • 10K steps a day – 2
  • OMAD – 0. Had dinner yesterday with JS. Was not hungry per se but then I gave in to the temptation. Restarting the counter.
  • #noCoffee – 2
  • #noCoke – 2
  • #book2 – 0 (I REALLY need to start on this!)

I also have a sheet where I track my actions on day to day basis. Have been lapsing on it. Will get back to it. #note2self

I think this is about it. Not a lot to share. Lot of work though. Chalo, over and out. See you guys tomorrow.

100321 – Morning Pages

Personal-ish update about a couple of people that are important to me and are on two extremes. And other inane riffs.

7:33. Andheri. Woke up groggy. I don’t know why I am tired. Maybe it’s the exhaustion from all the work. Or from the stress. I can’t figure it out. But whatever it is, there is no cloud per se on my head, except the bodily exhaustion. So I think I am ok.

Wait. Maybe it’s because someone close, someone I care about is struggling with depression and I am unable to help. Every trick in my bag seems to have failed. Of course, professional help is being sought and I am sure things will be ok soon but I feel so helpless that I don’t know what to do. These are the times when I wish I had a magic potion that would just make the pain go away at the snap of a finger.

So that.

Coming to how I spent yesterday. Went and met AR and it was amazing to see the progress he’s made with his work. When I first met him, he was a two-person hack-shop that could do anything and manage everything. Now he’s got a team of 12 people that he can’t seem to fit in one office and is growing on a daily basis. And, he does good work! Really. Funny, on one side I have someone struggling to even eat right. And on the other, I have another that’s growing on a daily basis. Life is funny. I just hope I can keep my head sane. I thought I was the anchor for everyone that I am close to. But I now realize that I am anything but that. In neither case – when they’re not doing good they don’t come to cry with me; when they’re doing great, they don’t come to celebrate with me.

I hope the point am trying to make is clear. I am not cribbing that people don’t want me around in their lives. The point is, I am unable to contribute, help

So in terms of good things, I managed OMAD yet another day. And I managed more than 10K steps for yet another day. So, yay!

I just need to keep going. I am reminded of that thing about streaks (I think it was popularised by Seinfeld) where all you do is ensure that you don’t break the streak. Maybe starting today, I will add that to the morning pages As of today, here is where I stand on things that I want to track…

Morning Pages – XX (will count at some later date)
#aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date). See altsaurabh
10K steps a day – 1
OMAD – 1
#noCoffee – 1 (even though I haven’t had in a while)
#noCoke -1 (even though I haven’t had in a while)
#book2 – 0 (I need to start on this!)

I am resetting the counter on Coke / Coffee, even though I havent had for a while.

So that. Oh, the track of the day is Billy Joel and his magic with Piano Man.

More than the music, singing, and performance (in this video’s case), I think the lyrics of the song is what makes it immortal. There’s so so so deep and such a clear articulation of the human condition that I can’t find anything else that comes close. It talks of things that people do, think, fake, dream, imagine, and more. It talks to me about people and their real, hidden lives that they are afraid to bring out. It talks about people on the sidelines (like the Piano Man) that are silent observers that can see through the BS that we make up in our heads.

The track to me is an inspiration. That I don’t want to become any of those people in the bar where the Piano Man is playing. That I want to be able to write as well as that. That I want one of my pieces to go out in the world and create a lot more impact. When I heard this for the first time, I thought I can kill myself if I could write and release a piece like that. In fact, I have a lot of similar tracks that I am so inspired by that I want to create and then hang my boots.

So that! Phew! That was fun to belt out.

***

So I think this is it for the day. I am supposed to wear pants today. And tomorrow for that matter. Hope I can survive the heat and muck in Mumbai. Will report tomorrow.

Over and out.

090321 – Morning Pages

Yet another update on how I spent yesterday. No large revelations, discourses etc. Read if you want to.

08:19. Starbucks, Borivali. Here to meet a friend / mentee / client / supplier and everything else rolled into one.

So, while I wait for the meeting to start at 1:15 PM (yeah yeah, I tend to travel at ungodly hours to save time and money and park myself at Starbucks), here’s the morning pages. Have a few things to talk about but time is also of essence. So let’s see how it goes.

Actually lemme make a list.

  1. Return to a plain old pen and paper notepad
  2. Fitness – OMAD – check; 10K Steps – check!
  3. Misc rants

3/ Lemme go in the reverse order and start with misc rants.

Here’s one on Women’s Day.
So, just after a day, the world seems to be over the tokenism around women’s day. A million companies released a billion videos around that when on every other day they dont seem to care about what’s happening around them. It’s plain sad. Plus, as a marketer, while I try to push the envelope, there’s a limit to what I can move the needle on. The cynic in me just dies. I mean there’s a limit to tokenism and I dont know what to do about it πŸ™

While people like me may scorn on it, I think it is needed. The ones like you and me that have access to the Internet are still ok when it comes to treating women but the ones that are not here, I cant imagine the horrors that must be inflicted on women. These initiatives, if communicated strongly about, tend to work. Look at Swachh Bharat. We are far far cleaner, at least the trains and stations that I have been to lately (Dadar, Thivim) have been super super clean. Thats another matter altogether that right outside the station, there’s filth all around. The point is, tokenism is helpful. Especially if it comes from right places. And the right noise is made.

Another rant on Goa
I miss Goa. The simple life where you have no pressure to do anything, where people want to take it east, where things move at their own pace. Sigh.

Clubhouse Session
On insistence of Daksh, I was a panelist at a CH session yesterday. It was fun to be honest to hear people speak. While it may not sustain but it was interesting for sure. It’s exactly like the early days of twitter where interesting people would talk random things and connect with each other.

I think I will get more active on it with time. Instead of listening to music, I will play it as background noise and see what I pick. Plus since Clubhouse happened, I am consuming less and less of podcasts. So that!

Track of the day?
This is not a rant per se but I did not know where else to include this.

So, the track is Jagjit Singh’s Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi. To be honest, this is not just the track for the day but also the theme for my life. I have a million things that I want to do in life and there’s no way I can find time, energy, resources to do all of those. I know I will die a deeply unhappy man. I just hope that by the time it’s my time to die, people find a solution to morality. Amen.

Here’s the track…

2/ Fitness. Lol!

So, yesterday I decided that I would try and do OMAD. Ladies and gents, I am happy to report that I managed it. I ate at 1:30 PM and then at 2:30 PM and then nothing else. And no, I did not have any coffee. Or cola. Or anything that may have carbs. I did consume a lot of soda though.

I also walked 10K+ steps.

I think the trick is simple. Slot all non-important / non-urgent calls post 9 and then walk around as you take those calls. Simple. You no longer have to take out time to walk. I did that yesterday. I will probably try it again today.

Let’s see how it goes.

The thing is, when all goes well, I am more or less able to manage things when things go well. But when shit starts to hit the roof, I am unable to cope up. I have realised that I need to have access to finer things to even breathe in peace. Like they said, nawabon wale shauk!

1/ Return to a notepad

Yesterday, after I don’t know how many months, I went back to a physical notepad and a pencil. And I have to say it was liberating! I did not really get a lot done but I definitely felt lot more in control of my tasks and life. Today on, I am moving back to it. I dont care if I look like a stupid fuck with a notepad and a pencil in my hand as I move around.

I like the idea of capturing thoughts and ideas as they come in. I like to refer back to those. I know I am not good at remembering things. Whatever capability I had to remember things, I have killed that faculty by relying more and more on notes. Plus when I was actively reading about notes and productivity (and when I launched notesForGrowth.com), I think I was doing very well in terms of managing all the projects and things.

I need to get back to it.

So that.

***

Guess this is about it. Had a busy day yesterday with I dont know how many calls. And I am staring at a busy day today as well. With multiple calls and meetings. As long as things are moving, I am ok πŸ™‚

Time to get on with the day and get some work done.

Till tomorrow, over and out.