120921 – Morning Pages

Short note on how I spent yesterday, the takeaways (my fading memory) and a rant on minimalism.

7:35. Home. Sunday. I have been up since 6:30 or so. But been doing things (primarily making lists) to ensure that once I am gone for 3 weeks, the world does not fall apart! Lol! Such magnanimity, Mr. Garg.

So today looks like a busy workday. I have a lot of things to work on before I start the next week. And then I am gone for 2-3 weeks. So that. The challenge would be to work from home – I don’t know how I would manage. Let’s see. I dont want to go to a Starbucks – too far from where I live. I hate wasting time in commuting within a city. More so after the lockdown taught me that most work meetings are essentially emails. The meetings with newer people, well, those are a different matter.

I met a few friends yesterday. And I bumped into a friend that I was not planning to meet. It was a very very fulfilling day. If I had my way, I would spend all my life doing exactly what I have been up to the last few days. Come on, Universe. I have made elaborate notes in my Roam.

Two things need to be cataloged however here. For the world to see. And for me to recall.

A. I have very faint recollections of places I have been to and people I have met. When I met NG, RM, and AG, I realized that they remembered incidents from almost all the travels they’ve been to. I, on the other hand, dont even remember the countries that we have visited together. They had to remind me that we were together in Sri Lanka. And they remembered that it was the year when Modi was getting elected (or re-elected or whatever).

B. I had momos at this restaurant that were absolutely mindblowing. Of course, I can’t remember the name of that restaurant. See point A above. Even though I had these not less than 24 hours ago. Sigh. I need to do something about my memory. May be stop taking notes ;P

So yeah. that was yesterday.

Oh, while typing this, I realized what Krishna told me. I used a lot of backspaces while I type. I need to fix that also. That means I am fast but I am not accurate at all.

Lemme run an experiment. The next para, I will type without using backspace. Let’s see what I get.

so I am typing this para without using backspace. And at my normal typing speed that I would use when I am typing things on messages, emails, powerpoints etc. Of course autocorrect is on and its fixing a lot of messages that I am mistales that I ma king, But more of less I thin this is ok. I can living with mistakes I am king for the sped that I can type and thing and type and then make sense with. As I tpe I use gramarly and I a,reaud see som 1000 red lines underneath things . Maybe there is indeed a mert in slowing dow?

Ok, that has a lot of mistakes!

The next para, I would type deliberately with the intent of making as few mistakes as possible. Let’s see how it goes.

This para, I am typing little slow with a lot f o deliveration, hoping to not making mistakes but typing slow and still not using backspace. So clearly I am making far less mistakes. I am not using backspace but I am still getting things autocrorected. So that’s helping. But since I am typing slow, I am making lesser mistakes. Except the mistakes in gramma etc. Not sure if I like this. This typing sllow os impedimenting (if there’s a work like that) my thinking speed. I ma a fat thinker that moves from one to tnnaother to another to another. So that.

I think I made as many mistakes. No?

The solution? Type fast and let mistakes happen. Lol!

So, less than a week to go for the trek. I have made most of the purchases that I had to make. Made a list here, in case you want to see. This trip is turning out to be the most expensive, unplanned trip of my life. I mean when I started 2021, I did not know I would go to Nepal. But it happened. But I am glad I am going. Everest has been a long-held dream. In fact, the other day KaGe mentioned that I had dreamt about Everest even when he and I worked together on Cyntax. Again, my memory clearly fails me there.

While I am ok with the money I spent, I am more effed about the number of things I’ve bought. For a minimalist in me, this is as cringe-inducing as it can get! And knowing myself, I would probably throw half of those things away when I come back. So, so much waste. For getting the validation in my head that I can do an arduous trek. Minimalism -1!

Plus, these are one-time purchases. These are once-in-a-lifetime adventures. You know, how weddings are. And yet I have to buy things so that nothing goes wrong. Wish I could reuse things that others have used before me. I wish I could simply rent things. But then, safety. Convenience. Insurance. Damn!

I am literally a bloated pig. I will probably fast today to try and get my body in control if I have to go thru the grind of walking 10 hours every day for the next 15 days. And with pants. And shoes.

Guess this is about it for the day. More later. See you around.

Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 185
  • #noCoffee – 29
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 5998
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1 (buying things for once in a life adventures)
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 275
  • NOFAP – 11

110921 – Morning Pages

A quick post about how I spent yesterday. And what I plan to do today. Nothing of significance. Random text, to be honest.

7:18. Home. Woke up a few minutes ago. Writing this at home is a struggle. I dont have a place where I could be in unobtrusive peace. Lemme talk more. At a Starbucks, there’s chaos, there’s life, there’s movement, noise, things that you expect at a coffee shop, and whatnot. However, not one of those is directed at me. Plus I am at a little distance from most of those. So the noise and movement and activity do not bother me. They are at the best background. And that helps me get in the flow. Really does.

At home, on the other hand, A, the space is confined. No, I dont have a fancy house that can offer space to each occupant. B, most of the background is directed at me. I will leave that your imagination about what it means. And C, I dont have a place that allows me to sit and stand and move and all that while I am working. So that.

An easy solution is, if I am going to stay here for long, is to find a house / office where I can sit and work out of. I used to, some 10 years ago. With Kunal. I remember we had rented a flat for 3K or something and we would work from there. It was really cool. If nothing else, we would go there every day. It’s insane that even back then I knew (or was it KG) that I needed to separate the spaces where I worked and lived.

Oh, I did meet Kunal. Went for a walk. Wore those trekking shoes. Got sore feet and boils but these were a little less pronounced and prickly than the first time I wore shoes. So, it does get better. Plus I wore shoes from about 7 PM till 10 PM. The longest I think I’ve worn shoes in a long long time. So, achievement unlocked.

Yesterday I also met Vivek. Someone I know off Twitter. He has to be one of the sharpest people I have come to known. Plus he’s insightful and is generally a likable person. I met him for the first time and to be honest, it did not feel as if I was meeting him for the first time. I think I must get more active on Twitter and try and interact with more people. I think that’s where my salvation lies – meeting people, learning from them, leaving them richer. Just need to find opportunities to make money that allows me to do this for the rest of my life!

So that.

In other news, continuing with the things I hate, today I need to finish shopping for EBC. EBC is great but I hate shopping. Takes too much effort. Requires tolerating too many pushy salespeople. But I have less than 6 days to go and I need to buy a few essentials. A couple of bags – a large one and a small one. A pant. I dont want to buy this at all. I can tolerate one of the two. But not both. And then tiny things like a water bottle, safety patches, etc. And then there are smaller things that I dont even know.

So the day would be spent on all this. I do have some work planned but let’s see when I find the time.

Guess this is about it.

I am realizing that if you remove work from your day-to-day thinking (like I have), and start expecting literally nothing from your friends or family (like I have), and stop thinking about leaving an impact, making the world a better place, and everything else, life starts to look simple. At least the last few weeks, even months for that matter have been like that. I have been able to abstract myself from various complex webs that we often weave in our heads. I think I should write about it sometime. Lol! This sometime list is like infinity!

Anyhow, here’s the streaks. Today is the 275th update. If I write till the 17th, it would be 281 posts. I will probably take voice notes when I am gone and then transcribe them. Let’s see how it goes.

Chalo. Over and out.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 184
  • #noCoffee – 28
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 1334
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 274
  • NOFAP – 10

100921 – Morning Pages

A quick post where I rant to my heart’s content. About nothing in specific. And yet, about everything.

7:08. Home. Woke up some time ago. I am unable to find a place where I can sit and work. There is this humdrum of a well-lived house – sounds of clattering from the kitchen, water being poured somewhere on some plants, the incessant doorbell, and so on and so forth. I am so so so used to living by myself and designing my spaces to my liking that I am unable to understand how to react to all this commotion. Of course, this is not commotion per se. This is more like the sounds of life but I guess these are not for me. I designed my life in a way that I did not have a kitchen (though I wanted to change that), there was no one to talk to or do anything till I first initiated. Even when I lived with sgGF, she was the kind to sleep late and I had the first few hours of the day to myself. And there’s nothing that sets my mood, the tone of my day like the mornings do. My mornings are the most sacrosanct time. I need to be left to myself – even if I am watching Taarak Mehta!

Plus, since I have come home (been two days), I haven’t been able to think of things. This happens each time I am here. I am not sure what is the cause. There has to be one. Why is it that I am not as engaged as I would want to be when I am in Delhi? #tothink

Anyhow. Rant hai. Moving on.

So in the highlights yesterday, I met one of those young ones that I want to become my budhape ki laathi. It was fabulous to see young people and their ambitions and dreams and the effort they are willing to make for that. I wish I could give them a better support system than what I have offered them right now. I call them #teamSG. I need to find a better name. I mean Team SG is super vain and I don’t want that. So that’s something I need to work on.

I was also at a Decathlon outlet and I was amazed at the collection. The sad part though was that the person who was support to help around was super uninterested in selling. What a shame, to be honest. Also, I noticed a subtle difference. At the Decathlons in Mumbai, they dont ask you to deposit your bags to the security. Here, they did. Guess something to do with how people behave? How big a problem pilferage is in Delhi? Lol!

Oh, I missed mentioning but I slept at around 7 last night. Woke up at 9. Slept again at 10. And then I woke up at 6ish today. And while the sleep was ok, I had a few distinct dreams that I recall. Yay! I think it’s after a while that I have been able to remember my dreams. Took a note over at #echochamber.

For the EBC, I had planned to take a Gimbal and a new phone to record a video blog of the journey. However, I have decided against it. I dont have the money to get a phone. And the one I have can’t do – it’s a three-year-old iPhone and the battery is literally dead. And I dont want to spend anything. I would rather use the money to help build the people that I care for. No, I can’t put in words why I do this for others but this is what defines me and I can’t escape from it. Maybe with time, I will change but as of today, this is how it is. So that!

What else?

I feel as if I have a lot to talk about. A lot to write. A lot to pour out. But then the thoughts are scattered so all over the place that I dont know what to do. I am so glad that I have this break coming up. I will be with some people but I can choose to remain aloof and silent and merely observe things. Let’s see how that experiment goes.

Guess this is about it. Time to get going with the day. Have a lot to do. Need to of course find a place to go work from. Not sure where I’d go. Time shall tell.

Over and out. Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 183
  • #noCoffee – 27
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 6096
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 273
  • NOFAP – 9

090921 – Morning Pages

A super-short-post about what I did yesterday and what I am thinking about. Not much to read to be honest.

9:15. A friend’s office. Here cos I needed to work and I couldn’t do that at home. Not that the home is not comfortable but there are way too many distractions here. So that. I am hoping to work from here for a large part of the day.

In terms of updates from yesterday, the highlight has to be this 19-year old that I met yesterday. He sort of exactly knows what he wants in life and where he wants to be and the path he needs to take to reach there. I was left speechless after I spoke to him. I was impressed beyond words. I mean I do have other young people that I spend time with but this one was like none other. At 38, twice his age, I dont have a fraction of the clarity that he has. Kids these days!

Apart from that the day yesterday was sort of busy with work. Had way too many calls to attend and too many things to do. Time just went like poof! Need to find a solution to this fuckery. Let’s see when and how.

What else?

I am sort of out of clues. Thing is, I am writing this at 9:30 when the day has started and the mind’s already occupied with things that need to be done during the day. Maybe more tomorrow. Or may be this morning pages thingy is going to wither down like people do.

Sigh.

More tomorrow. Hopefully.

Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 182
  • #noCoffee – 26
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 2550
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 272
  • NOFAP – 8

080921 – Morning Pages

A short note on mortality and how I would want to leave this world. When I do.

9:38. Home. The only home I’ve ever known. Except in the embrace of the ones I that I’ve loved. And the ones that have loved me. So this home, the one I have grown in, am here after a while. Almost a year! The last time I came here, it was Diwali of 2020 and then I went to Goa. And then I was in Mumbai and then the pandemic hit us again and all that. So that.

Ok. Time to get into some somber mood. This is probably one of the most important posts I’d ever write. I hope words can do justice.

So yesterday, I went to a hospital to meet a relative who’s just had heart surgery.

Lemme give some context. I’ve known him since I was a child and I have spent enough and more time in his backyard. Even in his lap. And he’s given me no less love than he would give to his children. And in life, he’s been a pillar to the entire family. And beyond. He has been an icon of righteousness, selfless service, and everything that you want in a man. No, he’s not really one of those people who’d inspire you with his tales of courage or exploits in business. He is as simple as they come and yet as special as they could be.

Yesterday, he was bedridden. Which is ok. I have seen him when he’s asleep.

But then he had a million wires and hoses and pipes running through his body to the machines that sort of keep the vital functions alive. He looked frail. Fragile. He still had his confidence and his neck held high, the one that I remember him for. But he was clearly putting in a lot of effort to do that. And oh man, did he put the effort!

Of course, he would recover and would be back to action before we know it. Of course, this is part and parcel of life. Of course, I need to be strong and get used to seeing my loved ones in that state – after all, age is catching up.

But that’s not what this post is about. It is about how I do NOT want to be like that. Articulation happened when I was talking to Krishna yesterday. So, the thing is, most people that know me, know me as someone hyper. Someone that can’t sit idle for a minute. Someone that is so fidgety that he’s moving all the time. Someone so full of energy that it’s literally impossible to control. Or contain. Someone who’s so infectious, so disturbing, so all over the place that you can’t ignore him. I dont know if this is good or bad. But this is how I am. If you have any other impressions of me, please do let me know.

So, if I were to fall sick and I am forced onto a bed, bondage-d by pipes and cables and all that, I do NOT want anyone I know to see me decapitated like that. Before any of those people that I love (there are just a handful of those) were to see me like that, I would want the plug to be pulled. Really. I have thought hard about this. For all the zest I have for life, for all the things I want to do with our limited time here, if I am ever in a position like that, I really want my dreams, my hopes, my existence to be wiped out. I am ok to go without saying my goodbyes. The good part is that hardly anyone cares for me outside my parents and probably my sis. So there is no question of giving closure to people. They would find it. Time anyway heals.

Coming back. So, I dont want the ones I love to have the last memory of me to not be of a person that couldn’t sit still and not have child-like enthusiasm or energy. Come what may.

So yeah. That.

Over and out.

And here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 181
  • #noCoffee – 25
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 3109
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 271
  • NOFAP – 7