041121 – Morning Pages

Here’s a morning pages on Diwali.

8:48. Home.

I have started to do a new thing. Rather than the morning pages on this blog, I start my day by writing an email to Team SG. And then I copy-paste it here and redact some parts of it that I want to keep within my team. So while I still live in public, I get even more honest than I can be on a public blog. In fact, I want to reach a point in life where I am able to open my emails, WA chats, and conversations to the world and yet sleep in peace. I know I am far from that but I hope I am there someday.

So, yesterday was a blur. I dont even know where the day went. I did nothing significant or special. I dont know what it was but I was literally a zombie. I, as they say, sleepwalked thru the day. I slept at like 9. And then I woke up at 8ish. 11 hours. For someone like me, if I sleep more than 6 hours, I get mindfucked. So there.

Anyhow, Today’s Diwali. Happy Diwali to each of you!

Growing up, Diwali was an important festival. For two reasons. One, each Diwali, I would come back home to my parents from wherever I was. Most times it’s been easy. At least since 2010, the work I do allows me to control how I spend time around these large festivals. Super grateful for that. Two, I’ve for some reason treated it as the beginning of the new year. Not sure if it’s true. But it has stayed with me even though I have stopped identifying myself as a Hindu. So, to date, I consider this as a new beginning and I try and start planning the next year with all the gusto that one can imagine. 

This year is no different. I am home. Yay! And I have started to think about what I’d do #in2022. I just realized that I can type started with just the left hand!

Here are the top three things that I want to do #in2022. These are in order of priority.

  1. Get debt-free. I will not commit to anything that requires substantial money till I can pay off my debt. I will continue to take smaller shots and make tiny investments (these are the ones that create opportunities for me) but I will pay back the loan by end of 2022. I cant live with the stress that I have people that I owe money to. 
  2. Write book2. I have been dreaming about it since 2013-14. I need to write it. I know what I write may not make a lot of noise but I have to have to have to write. It’s something that gives me my identity. Everything else, every other attempt at getting an identity has failed. This is the only one that I think I have left. 
  3. Get fit. I hate the days when I am unwell. Like yesterday. From today on, I am getting mindful about what I put in my system. I am not eating carbs. From tomorrow. Today is the last day of carbs. Ok. Lo-carbs. I cant remove carbs altogether. And I will get regular with yoga at least. I can’t work out and I can’t run. So, yoga! As they say, yoga se hoga! If I have to wake up early for that, I shall. 

Apart from these three, I have a million things that I want to do. I will talk about those as I get along. Funny, money doesn’t feature anywhere in this list. Let’s see when I get to that. 

And here’s a large decision. This somehow dawned onto me as I was waking up. That I would write book2 in public. From 15th November onward, I will replace morning pages with text for book2. And try and complete it by end of this year.

I will seek help from the community and I will post updates on Twitter and Instagram and all that. I will share chunks of unwritten texts. I will talk loudly about my process. And I will seek support and inputs from people on how the book is shaped. Even if the book becomes stale and no one buys it, I will tom-tom about it.

The morning pages would be reduced to the journal bit. Let’s see how the experiment goes.

That’s it for the day.

As I end this post, here’s wishing each one of you a very happy Diwali. I hope the year ahead is full of love, luck, happiness, and abundance. For you, your families, your loved ones, and everyone around you. May each of you gets everything you seek. And if there’s anything I can do to push your agenda ahead, please please do let me know. 

And here’s the song of the day – Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Here…

And here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :(. I have no recollection of the day apart from one or two calls. Was like a zombie!
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I tried sitting down for a session of Headspace but was interrupted.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I was at home and I could sleep in peace. On a day when I wanted to sleep and rest it out.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Letter to bade log. I need to send it today. Most of it is ready. Today is as good a day to send as any.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I have what it takes to create opportunties for people around me.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could sleep ok, on a day I need to sleep. That was amazing.
    2. I got an opportunity to write for a film. I may not be able to get it but at least I had an opportunity. That in itself is great. Need to capitalise more on these.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I did not feel so sleepy throughout the day, it would have been better.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Luck = Opportunity X Preparation”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 1
  • #noCoffee – 1
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 28
  • Money spent – 3856
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 28
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0. I sat down yesterday but I was unable to.
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 28

031121 – Morning Pages

I talk about festivals and unreasonable people moving the world and making us humans!

7:49. So, the Diwali cheer is in the air. There is lights all around and it’s a fabulous scene! I am in Gurgaon and the lights are brilliant. To a point that I would have loved to just drive around looking at the gorgeousness that us humans are capable of creating. Of course, one may argue that anything we create would never be as gorgeous as what Mother Nature planned so effortlessly. But still. It was gorgeous to walk around. 

Anyhow. I like when the world outside is decked up like that. I wish the decking up was a year-long affair. Well, not really. Cos if it was decked up all year long, people wouldn’t feel special about the festivals. You know, how you respect and love things and are attracted to the ones that are rare? That! 

Thing is, to me, the meaning of festivals has changed over the years. It was mostly religious when I was young. And then it became an opportunity to meet friends and family and spend time together. Then it became a ritual – you know, a thing in a year that I would do with my family. Something that I know my parents would look up to. I mean I am assuming they looked forward to it. Not sure if they did 😀 Anyhow, Now it has become a time when everyone is on a break and I can use that downtime to think more and do more. I am sure in another few years it would become an occasion to take breaks!

The point is, festivals are lit! And here’s a film that I love AF. Love Actually. It’s a film about love and belonging and seperation and togetherness. Around Christmas, New Year etc. Here’s a song from the film. See it. You know, I often see this and pine to have a love thingy like one of these people. Lol. 

Moving on. 

The highlight of yesterday was that I had this epiphany about being an unreasonable person. So the people I am working on an event with, the owner of that agency is the most polite, humble, good, kind, AND the most unreasonable man ever. 

Let me about his unreasonableness. He is the kinds that will go promise the world to the world. And then deliver. Despite all odds. Anjum Sir said in a class once, “with you, without you or in spite of you”. Anna is like that. If a client wants it, Anna delivers. Inspite of all odds. What’s amazing is not just his ability to deliver things but the fact that he’s got a team of people that can move the mountains to ensure that whatever Anna has committed is done. Come what may. 

That is the thing. Unreasonable man. A team that is dying to deliver what the unreasonable man wants. Each of you needs to become unreasonable in your expectations. Each of you needs to find people that you will give an arm and a leg to deliver what you want. And not in an authoritative, abusive, bossy way. But in a way that everyone is aligned to deliver on that. Everyone understands that the magician, the unreasonable is being that not because he is like that but the unreasonableness helps me create opportunities, reputation, and a virtuous circle that elevates everyone! 

So that. Here’s a question. Who is the most unreasonable person that you know of? Tell me more about him / her. 

And here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :). Was an ok day. I juggled multiple things at work. I managed them quite ok, I guess. I went out for a dinner with some colleagues I am on a project with. Met a friend for wine and all. In all, a nice day. Could do with more such days.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I did a 10-minute session of Headspace but I am still not being in the zone.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. People generally tend to like me, trust me. I am grateful that I give out such vibes.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Work :D. I have a few things open at work and today most clients will not be working. So I will have some peace with it.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I am an unreasonbale man and I take shots that are out of my league. And once in a while, I hit those. And it’s pretty amazing when that happens.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    Can’t think of anything specific. It was in general a good day!
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I got late when I had to meet a friend. I should have been on time. I hate it when I am late.
  8. Quote for the day
    “It is the unreasonable man that is responsible for all the progress we’ve made as humans.”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 27
  • Money spent – 4148
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 27
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 27

021121 – Morning Pages

Morning Pages on Nov the 2nd, the birthday of Shahrukh Khan.

7:56.

Today is Shahrukh Khan’s birthday. I am not sure of his acting or whatever but I know that he’s the guy that comes to my head when I think of love stories coming to life. When I think of hard work leading to success. When I think of the conduct of an individual inspiring generations to come. When I think of possibilities. When I think of ambition. When I think of how life ought to be.

And I think of him everytime I have to ask a girl out. Everytime I have a heartbreak. Everytime I need to think of a sad song. Everytime I meet someone called Kiran. Everytime I even spread my arms.

And it’s just not me. It is probably everyone in my generation. And the one after me. And the one after me. That, ladies and gents, is SRK for me. On his birthday, all I can say is, thank you, Shahrukh Khan. I am a tad better because of you.

Ok. Coming onto morning pages, the real one. Here’s a recap of the day. Yesterday was mostly ok. Did a lot of work, pitched for new work, sent some invoices for work done in the last few months, created opportunities for some people, spoke to a friend who’s getting married, met another one for dinner. In all, had a good time. Today will be a tad stressful. I am hoping I can find a way out but let’s see.

So this is about it for the day. And here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :). Was ok yesterday. I think I have been able to make peace with how things are around me.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. Even with so many things around me to juggle, I am able to manage my time in a way that I want to.
    2. I love the tastelessness of water! I love to sip on it. And I am grateful that I can have enough and more of it.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Like I said, I have way too many things to juggle today. Some of those are overlapping. And the ones that are overlapping are the kinds that need urgent attention and are demanding. If I can manage those well, I would be ok.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I am able to manage all the stress without affecting the moods of people around me. I am good like that.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. PS is back at work after her break. She’s one of those people that I wished I had met earlier in life. Everytime I speak to her, I find someone who I can trust, someone I know will have my back, someone I’d like to work with for the rest of my life.
    2. Met a prospective client. I loved talking to him. As always, I realised that I love it when I am talking to new people. I feed off the energy of others. Need to make a structured thing around it!
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. As always, if I could eat less, it would have been nice. I almost did not eat till about 1 and then I threw my hat in the ring.
    2. At work, I was rude to a colleague. I shouldn’t have been. I apologised but I need to control these bursts.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Two people are always right. The one that says he can. And the one that says he can’t”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 26
  • Money spent –
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 26
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 26

011121 – Morning Pages

Today’s morning pages is a literal copy of the email that I send to my team. Read on.

8:00. November 1. New Month. New Week. A new burst of energy. To do more. And get more done. Here’s a new way of doing morning pages.

Lemme give context.

So I have this bunch of young people (all in their 18-25) that I sort of mentor. Mentor is not the word here. I assume that I mentor them. I dont know what they think. I’ve just put them in a Whatsapp group (I call it, well, TeamSG) and on that group, I give them gyaan and all that. And I send them an email every day. It is a little different from the morning pages as the “security” and “privacy” of an email allows me a little more freedom. So, today, I am reproducing that email. With some edits.

Here we go.

[START]

Today’s Krishna‘s birthday. I dont know if you know this but I met him on Twitter and he has become one of my closest friends and confidantes. And a co-investor in a startup. And at some point in time, he would become a business partner. He’s that important that I even went to Ahmedabad just to meet him. I mean someone like me who doesn’t go beyond the nearest Starbucks goes to another city altogether. Imagine. I just hope Krishna gets to his larger-than-life mission (I am not telling what it is – in case he wants to tell, he can) soon!

Ok, moving on with other things. I dont have a lot of time today. Maybe 15 mins tops to write this and the morning pages. I am prioritizing this over others. In the voice of Chulbul Pandey, Tareef nahi karoge humari?

Things at the top of my mind…

1. A new month has started. And that means I will yet again try and get on the fitness bandwagon. I met some friends yesterday and they said that despite my trek, I seem to have gained weight. Damn. Need to lose some. I am fasting today. For sure. 

2. VG shared a trailer with me yesterday about something that Will Smith is doing. Here. Best Shape of my life. A few days ago I also saw another thing that he’s doing. Here. Welcome to Earth.

Plus I am in general in awe of what Will Smith does. I mean look at any of his videos on youtube. Every time I am down and about, I see his videos. Or of Steve Jobs. Doesn’t matter. The point is, loved these two pieces of content featuring Will Smith. I wish I could be as inspirational and as cool. Please do see these.

3. Yesterday I met a few friends. Over wine. Yeah, I am becoming a drunkard. These are friends from MDI. Realized a lot of things. Here they are in bullets

  • I am ok to tolerate kids. I thought the only 2 I could live with were M & m. But yesterday I could stay in peace with three other kids around me. Maybe it was wine? But here’s a thing. It was amazing to see a 3-year old trust you enough to leap off a 1-foot ledge (which was probably as big as the damn Everest for her) without knowing if I would catch her or not. And once she jumped, come hell or high water, I had to catch her. And I did. So that. To me that was the highlight of the day. The faith that a kid places in you even though you are a literal stranger to her. 
  • Everyone but me is doing extremely well for themselves. In terms of money, career, family, relationships etc. I even ranted about it here. Here are some thoughts from that.
    • Come to think of it, the only relationships I am sure of are the ones with my family. So kids, family first! PLEASE.
    • Another thing that I realised is that I hate that I am the poorest of all the people I know. And the worst is that I dont know a way out of this vicious circle. No, I dont want to rant more. Just a request. Boys and girls, PLEASE make money and make me rich. Soon. I want to see the world 😀 
  • We talked about things like the meaning of life and all that. I talked about my theory on life. The meaning of it. I am still trying to find the answer but I said that while this entire thing called life is meaningless and purposeless, the purpose that we were sent here is to do things that put others out of their misery. This could be done by entertaining them, inspiring them, giving them the shoulder, being of service. While this service, help, inspiration in itself is meaningless but the momentary gratification it gives to them, and to you, is what makes life worth living. And no, to me, this gratification et al need to go beyond your immediate circle. Go to those that did not get a good hand in the ovarian lottery. Ok, zayada ho gaya. Maybe some other day when I articulate it well enough. 
  • We went to this place called Cyber Hub. It’s a great place to take great photos. And it sucked that I could not take a single good photo. I feel so so constrained, limited in my ability to take pics. Guess I will do some course of something to learn more about it. I have to. I love taking pics. I love framing them. I love catching people in their natural states, you know candid. And I love freezing time with photos. 

So that. These are the thoughts from my meeting.

4. Song of the day is this. On loop. From a film called Hell or High Water. See this film if you are the kinds to watch films. I saw it once on an airplane and I loved it so much that I came to the ground and saw it again. 

5. I have almost written the letter to bade log. Will try to send it on the Diwali break. 

6. Quote for the day. “If not now, then when?”

This sounds simple but has a deeper meaning to me. Our time is limited. Something that people your age would not understand. But when you are my age, you would realize that it just whiles away while you are busy with petty things like cricket and parties and all that. 

So whatever dreams, aspirations, ideas, plans you guys have, you need to act on those now. And if not now, when? Before you know it, you would be 40 and like me at the edge all the time because you haven’t done great things. The good part is that I can see each of you doing great things already. You will probably not end up like me. The challenge to each of you, thus is, can each of you become someone that inspires millions and billions of others? 

7. In terms of work, I have a lot planned for the day. A few meetings, a few presentations. A pitch to a new client. Maybe a dinner with a friend. Not sharing a timetable per se but I have a fairly busy day ahead. And I plan to fast and not have coffee / coke / food. Let’s see how it goes. 

Chalo that’s about it for the day. See you guys around. 

[END]

PS: In case you want to get this email, do let me know and I can cc you.

So that. And here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :). Was little better yesterday. It was a perfect day. Did some work. Met some friends. Thought about things. Talked about esoteric things. Slept ok.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. The trust that a 3-year old places in you can literally change the way you think and operate.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. I have a potential client meeting today. In case I am able to close that client, it would be awesome.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    The kind of day I had yesterday, I will have more of those. Today would be yet another day where I would get things done, crack deals, spend time with people I want to.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I met these friends from MDI. And their kids. Loved it! Must meet more people. In fact, I feed off the energy of other people.
    2. The letter to bade log is almost ready. Will ship around Diwali.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I could eat a tad less, it would have been perfect.
    2. If I could sleep for more than 7 hours, it would have been nice.
  8. Quote for the day
    “If not now, then when?”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 25
  • Money spent – 7098. Went out eating. Thus.
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 25
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 25

311021 – Morning Pages

Finally a 1000+ word post on morning pages. Dumped all that was on my head. And loved it!

7:14. Up a few minutes ago. Did not sleep well at all. Was up till 2 browsing random timelines. Right now I am groggy but I am ok. I mean I will have some water and I would be back to being awesome. So that.

While writing the title of the post, I realized that October is over. And 2021 is almost over. This brings about a few thoughts in my head. Lemme write about those.

A. Time flies! Fast as fuck. And you cant control it. Must not waste a single minute. Need to get back the mojo where I would make myself accountable for each minute. The last few months have been, well, interesting (good and bad). Need to become a master of time.

B. Need to start planning for #in2022. I would be 40 in 2022 and I had hoped I would be financially independent by then. I am far from it. I had hoped I would have 6-packs by then. I have one large one that can compete with a sack of potatoes. I had imagined I would have a personal brand. Right now, I have none.

Plus I need to admit that of all the lofty goals I write for myself on paper each year, I hardly get any of those. I mean I do take actions and steps but I am unable to close on those. Maybe this year I will change that?

C. Need to plan where would I go and live after November. I have a Goa trip planned towards the end of the year with VG. So maybe somewhere in / around that. To save on commute and travel and all that. Any ideas? I dont want to be in Mumbai, to be honest. I mean I can be but I would rather be in a new city. Pune? Alibaug? Panchgani? Vashi for that matter? Thane? Ahmedabad? Let’s see. All I need is fast internet and a private room. Rest I can manage. And to be honest, I am liking this rootlessness, nomadness.

Oh, after this rant, I must admit that yesterday and the day before were pretty awesome. In terms of money. Got paid by a client that had held back my money. Got paid by a client that I did not expect to get paid by. Got paid a day earlier by another client. Plus yesterday I paid back one of the people that I owed money to. All in all, it was a great day for money. I need to have many more days like that. Come on, universe!

Chalo, enough. Loved that I could write at peace. And could dump a lot that was on my head.

Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :|.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I continue to remain VERY distracted. I will do a 10-minute meditation session for sure.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I love the taste of water and I can sip onto it for hours.
    2. I have enough resources to be able to feed my fancies. Lol, fancies. I meant whims and quirks. And here’s the thing. #epiphany just happened. This time that I spend writing morning pages? I can see a visible change in my mood. I am a lot more cheerful than what I was when I woke up. There IS merit in dumping thoughts in your head on paper. Or a blog.
    3. I can tolerate cold more than an average human being. And this allows me to enjoy winters than others. And I love it. Of course the flip side is that I am the most troubled when its summers (like 11.5 months in a year). But the 15 days, OMG! Love em!
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. If I can ship out the letter to bade log, it would be awesome.
    2. I have 2 social engagements planned today. One each for lunch and dinner. If I can eat low-card while I am there and can avoid coke / coffee, it would be awesome!
  5. A daily affirmation.
    The universe rewards for all the movement I create, even if the reward comes to me later than expected. Like it happened yesterday.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could avoid Diet Coke. I did eat a lot and I did have coffee. But I could avoid the temptation to have Coke. I think it is because I removed the option to have coke. I did not get it stocked. And I replaced it with other things.
    2. I could speak to AS and CM about how I want to engage with them. Let’s see how that pans out. I will get to know by end of November. This is important from both work and non-work perspective. I care for these people and I want to see them do well. Plus I am attaching my success to theirs. So, if we win, everyone wins!
    3. I got a lot of money to come me in the last few days. This was of course for work that I have done over the last few months. But when it hit the account in one go, it was pretty amazing.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. Food. I could’ve ate less! Thing is, if I can stop eating like a mad man, I can fucking conquer the world!
    2. Work. I wish I could do more. I did do a few things that I was supposed to work on but I know I could have used my time better. I could have optimised it and not get distracted.
  8. Quote for the day
    “You are your biggest responsibility. Do not shy away from it. Take control. Get out of the slumber.”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 2
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had quite a few. To a point that I could not sleep.
  • #aPicADay – o. I did post a pic however. Here.
  • Daily Journal – 24
  • Money spent – 2632
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 24
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 24