150721 – Morning Pages

I talk about rants, house hunting, SRK, music, work and more.

6:20. Woke up a few minutes ago. Woke up with a nightmare. I mean a nightmare of sorts. On a regular day, it would have affected me a lot and would have made me a man possessed. But for some reason, I am still as water and calm as fire. Also, as I woke up, I am less groggy than I would typically be. I dont know why or how. I again ate multiple meals. And that too full of carbs and oils. I still have a lot on my head with respect to work. There’s so much that I don’t know what to do about! Grrr! I even ranted on Twitter. Here. That’s another thing. I am ranting a lot on Twitter now. My engagement there is shit. I need to grow it to be able to get opportunities to come to me. But I am unable to 🙁

Anyhow.

So, just a month to go for EBC. Need to inform everyone about it. Everyone means people that I work with. Need to make arrangements. Need to wrap the house. Give away whatever is left here. Send whatever needs to be stored to Delhi. Limit my life to as few things as I can (preferably 20 – a number that looks highly improbable). Need to give notice to the landlord so that I can vacate peacefully.

As of now, I am thinking I will move to Delhi by September (assuming there’s no third wave by then) and then stay back till Diwali (mid-November). And come back post that. And look for a new house. This time I am sure I want to live on a higher floor at a fancy society. Enough of kachra living. Or maybe go to Goa. There’s hardly anything that I have left in Mumbai that I look forward to.

Just that I am not sure if I can work from Delhi but let’s see. All this is wishful thinking. We Will see if this pans out.

So on music, today it’s the SRK fest. Mitwa. Pretty Woman. Yeh Dil. Dildara. And a Farhan Akhtar song (Sindbad the Sailor). I know, I know. These guys are mere actors and the credit must go to the lyricists and composers and musicians and all that. Please do excuse me for that.

I dont know what else to write. That’s all that’s on the top of my head.

Ok, lemme try. What did I learn yesterday? Few things…

  1. I am not great at managing time.
    Even with all the fancy tools that I have access to.
  2. I am not disciplined.
    In the sense that I know that to lose weight, I need to do a lot of things consistently for a long time (eat better, eat clean, work out etc etc). I do that as and when I get time. Rather I could be making time for those! I can make small sacrifices (giving up Coke, writing everyday) but I cant seem to workout consistently. Dunno why.
  3. I like giving gyaan to people that can potentially help them.
    I was talking to a stranger and talking about how notes and calendars could get her to do her things better. And it was brilliant! I mean I think I did show her the way but the validation I got for myself was fascinating!
  4. I continue to be that person that doesnt want to disappoint others.
    In fact, I seek validation and all that. Not just from people I care about. But even from strangers on the internet. I wish I could become a different person 🙁

Wait.

These are personal lessons. Why would someone want to read these? Rather, need to figure out lessons that are useful for others. And then post those. You know, things like, wake up early and you’d be awesome. Lol. These are random conjectures that may or may not carry any weight.

But then, these morning pages lose meaning. To a point that I write these for myself. Not for others to read. So it’s cool that these lessons are for me and for no one else.

Anyhow. To close this short post, couple of things that I am taking away from this brain dump. These are…

A. I need to get disciplined. Starting today I will be. At least with food if not with workouts. I will stop eating from outside for as long as I can manage. I will get a home cook to make simple meals for me. You know, less oil, fewer spices, better ingredients, etc. At eat just one time in the day.
Lol! This starting today has lost meaning. I dont know how many times have I said this 😀

B. Will stop thinking about how much work I have on my plate. I would rather do things. I will no longer talk about the unavailability of office space. Or a Starbucks. I will make do with whatever I have and get work done. Enough of fucking slacking and throwing reasons around.

Guess this is it for the day.
Hope you have a great day as well.
Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 126
  • #noCoffee – 15
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 216

110321 – Morning Pages

Wore pants and shirt yesterday. Here’s a report card. And of course, chats about other things.

8:26. Andheri. So, I wore pants yesterday. Which was as terrible as it sounds. It sucked like mad. Worse was that I wore a shirt to go with it. And that shirt did not fit me. I could not breathe in it. And that’s the shirt that was like a baggy fit for me. You know, loose. The kinds where I could stuff one more person in and still stay sane. I am that unfit. To a point that even Instagram is showing me ads of fitness clubs and gyms and all that. Kya hoga mera?

Anyhow. Morning Pages.

Yesterday was fun. I recorded my second ever video conversation ever (the first was I think with Mihir (Karkare) that we never released; thank God for that). This one was with Sheba Maini. She is brilliant. She made me talk about things that I never thought I was capable of saying out loud on the Internet. And she made me agree to come on a video. Wow.

If you guys need someone to coach you and give you direction, Sheba is it! Her Linkedin profile is here. When I first spoke to her, in the 3rd minute of our chat, she could point out what afflicted me and what I need to do to get out of that. I was dumbfounded by how well she could read my mind. Over a Zoom call. In less than 5 minutes. You must consider her.

PS: Sheba is a client at Podium and a mentor so I may be biased.
PPS: If you are curious what is my problem, read this one and specifically, point #5.

Next. I met this young kid (JS) that I know from TRS days. We met for dinner (see streaks below). He is now onto his own business and set up and he seems to be on this amazing path that excites, inspires, and scares me. At 21, he’s sure where he wants to. And he’s acting on it. At 21, I did not know how to tie my shoelaces. The future is bright. Reminded me that I need to hang out with more such people. I think I am at my happiest when I see that I am making a difference in other people’s lives, especially when it comes to their work. I am a nincompoop if the conversations are around relationships and all that. I often can’t relate to what they are talking about and how to help with things. I even zone about when people talk about their lives and relationships. But when they talk work, ooh, la, la! I need to find a way to accelerate this and do this for more people.

In other news, Anjum Rajabali Sir’s next film, Toofan was just announced yesterday. This is one film that I cant wait to watch. For multiple reasons. For starters, it’s Anjum Sir’s film. Then this is about sports. Then its mass-market entertainer. Plus it has Farhan Akhtar, a guy that I look up to for his work (and nothing else). What else could you ask for? And this is EXACTLY the kind of films I want to make! Let’s see when that happens.

PSA: he’s taking sessions for aspiring screenwriters these days. See if you can attend.

So that’s the large updates from me on yesterday.

On streaks (that I started to track publicly since yesterday)…

  • Morning Pages – 89! Wow! I am surprised at myself!
  • #aPicADay – XX (will count at some later date)
  • 10K steps a day – 2
  • OMAD – 0. Had dinner yesterday with JS. Was not hungry per se but then I gave in to the temptation. Restarting the counter.
  • #noCoffee – 2
  • #noCoke – 2
  • #book2 – 0 (I REALLY need to start on this!)

I also have a sheet where I track my actions on day to day basis. Have been lapsing on it. Will get back to it. #note2self

I think this is about it. Not a lot to share. Lot of work though. Chalo, over and out. See you guys tomorrow.