010621 – So that!

In three “so-thats” I talk about what’s on my head and what I am gonna do about those.

6:56. Hello June! The 6th month of the year that’s flying past like time has never flown is here!

Let’s see how it goes. The rant yesterday was sobering. In the sense that I could dump whatever was on my head and I was at peace. Let’s see how the next few days go. I think that these morning pages is a good good idea. In absence of any specific person to talk about how I am feeling deep down, these pages help me get the load off my head. This is as good as therapy. Plus I can send the link to whoever cares. Or even to a professional counselor if need be.

Thank you, Steve, for teaching me that we are already naked. There is thus no reason to hide anything that I am thinking about, working on, etc. This living in public is proving to be a good idea.

So yesterday, as soon I had crapped and showered, I left the house. Went to a friend’s place. Picked a coffee on the way. Was somehow reminded of those times when I would wake up, take a shower, and would be out of the house in the next 10 minutes. I have actually lived all my life like that. I really think it’s getting stuck at one place that fucks my head. Now that I’ve realized and I have an option (a friend has kindly agreed to allow me to use his house and I will of course share the rent), I will use it. At least till the time Starbucks opens. Or a co-working place.

I would ideally want this to be within walking distance but that’s ok. One thing at a time.

So that.

In other news, I haven’t done Surya Namaskars in more than 3 days. Will do it today, after I am done publishing this. I am walking almost 10K steps every day. I mean there’s no way for me to see how many steps am doing (remember am back on an Android?) but I am walking for sure. To a point that the chappal I wear is so worn out that it’s smooth as silk!

Oh, I have to thank the Android phones. I am using the phone less and less. Most calls are on desktop WhatsApp (thank you, Vodafone) and that means I don’t even need to hold the phone! Plus, I am off Twitter and Instagram again. So that’s helping reduce the usage as well.

So that.

What else?

Oh yeah!!!

So yesterday, I took up a challenge. I must say it’s stupid and vain and all that. Lemme talk about it. There is this new crime show on HBO / Hotstar, Mare of Easttown featuring Kate Winslet. While talking to some friends, I was challenged to write about the show in such an eloquent manner told that I am not good enough a writer that can write about it so well that it exhibits how good the show it is. I simple words, my writing cant move the mountains.

So, clearly, my ego was hurt. Of course! Such a kid, Mr. Garg.

So, I plan to invest some 7 hours watching the show (I watched 22 minutes yesterday) and then another 2-3 hours in writing about it. And then will publish it here. And maybe at some other publications that have a wider reach.

For context, I haven’t seen a piece of fictional content in ages (the last thing I saw was Nomadland, on the insistence of Vivek) and I don’t have it in me to watch 7 hours of content and remember the storylines, leave alone writing. So it would be a big one if I can actually pull it off. Plus, I do hope that it does justice to how I write. If not that, at least I would improve. I am actually looking forward to the challenge! Bring it on!

The thing is, I love it when I face these challenges. And I love taking these challenges head-on. Most times I fail. Not most. Almost every time I fail. To a point that I am dumped in misery and I question why I even took that challenge up. And yet I seek more. You know, like a junkie. If not for these external, public challenges, like seems drab and boring to me. So that. Maybe am stuck with the feeling of ennui because I am not left with a big challenge? I mean I can take up book2 as a challenge and start thinking about how I have failed at producing it. And I have been failing since 2015. 7 years. Kab khoon khaulega re tera, Faizal

And damn this need for external validation with things!

So that.

The other change I am doing today on is to live my life strictly by a calendar. A large part of how I live is anyway dictated by a calendar. I am going to take it up by a notch. I am going to get more anal about it. To a point that I will not do anything that is not on my calendar. Even these morning pages go in my calendar. I have earmarked 6:3o to 7:15 for these morning pages. The days I wake up late, I will miss writing. And that means I will break the 170+ day streak. And that would be a sad thing.

Of course, I can shuffle things – I am still not the Prime Minister of a country that my calendar is what the world follows. But more or less, I need to account for every minute that I am awake. Time is short. Lots of things need done. Let’s see how it goes. I’ve already plotted Morning Pages, Book2, and Mare of Easttown on it. Will add more during the day and I shall pack it to a point that I can’t afford to die.

So that.

This brings me to the end of the post. I mean I have more that I can write. But for the time being, this is it. The next task on the calendar is calling 😀

Streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 170
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 82
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

090321 – Morning Pages

Yet another update on how I spent yesterday. No large revelations, discourses etc. Read if you want to.

08:19. Starbucks, Borivali. Here to meet a friend / mentee / client / supplier and everything else rolled into one.

So, while I wait for the meeting to start at 1:15 PM (yeah yeah, I tend to travel at ungodly hours to save time and money and park myself at Starbucks), here’s the morning pages. Have a few things to talk about but time is also of essence. So let’s see how it goes.

Actually lemme make a list.

  1. Return to a plain old pen and paper notepad
  2. Fitness – OMAD – check; 10K Steps – check!
  3. Misc rants

3/ Lemme go in the reverse order and start with misc rants.

Here’s one on Women’s Day.
So, just after a day, the world seems to be over the tokenism around women’s day. A million companies released a billion videos around that when on every other day they dont seem to care about what’s happening around them. It’s plain sad. Plus, as a marketer, while I try to push the envelope, there’s a limit to what I can move the needle on. The cynic in me just dies. I mean there’s a limit to tokenism and I dont know what to do about it 🙁

While people like me may scorn on it, I think it is needed. The ones like you and me that have access to the Internet are still ok when it comes to treating women but the ones that are not here, I cant imagine the horrors that must be inflicted on women. These initiatives, if communicated strongly about, tend to work. Look at Swachh Bharat. We are far far cleaner, at least the trains and stations that I have been to lately (Dadar, Thivim) have been super super clean. Thats another matter altogether that right outside the station, there’s filth all around. The point is, tokenism is helpful. Especially if it comes from right places. And the right noise is made.

Another rant on Goa
I miss Goa. The simple life where you have no pressure to do anything, where people want to take it east, where things move at their own pace. Sigh.

Clubhouse Session
On insistence of Daksh, I was a panelist at a CH session yesterday. It was fun to be honest to hear people speak. While it may not sustain but it was interesting for sure. It’s exactly like the early days of twitter where interesting people would talk random things and connect with each other.

I think I will get more active on it with time. Instead of listening to music, I will play it as background noise and see what I pick. Plus since Clubhouse happened, I am consuming less and less of podcasts. So that!

Track of the day?
This is not a rant per se but I did not know where else to include this.

So, the track is Jagjit Singh’s Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi. To be honest, this is not just the track for the day but also the theme for my life. I have a million things that I want to do in life and there’s no way I can find time, energy, resources to do all of those. I know I will die a deeply unhappy man. I just hope that by the time it’s my time to die, people find a solution to morality. Amen.

Here’s the track…

2/ Fitness. Lol!

So, yesterday I decided that I would try and do OMAD. Ladies and gents, I am happy to report that I managed it. I ate at 1:30 PM and then at 2:30 PM and then nothing else. And no, I did not have any coffee. Or cola. Or anything that may have carbs. I did consume a lot of soda though.

I also walked 10K+ steps.

I think the trick is simple. Slot all non-important / non-urgent calls post 9 and then walk around as you take those calls. Simple. You no longer have to take out time to walk. I did that yesterday. I will probably try it again today.

Let’s see how it goes.

The thing is, when all goes well, I am more or less able to manage things when things go well. But when shit starts to hit the roof, I am unable to cope up. I have realised that I need to have access to finer things to even breathe in peace. Like they said, nawabon wale shauk!

1/ Return to a notepad

Yesterday, after I don’t know how many months, I went back to a physical notepad and a pencil. And I have to say it was liberating! I did not really get a lot done but I definitely felt lot more in control of my tasks and life. Today on, I am moving back to it. I dont care if I look like a stupid fuck with a notepad and a pencil in my hand as I move around.

I like the idea of capturing thoughts and ideas as they come in. I like to refer back to those. I know I am not good at remembering things. Whatever capability I had to remember things, I have killed that faculty by relying more and more on notes. Plus when I was actively reading about notes and productivity (and when I launched notesForGrowth.com), I think I was doing very well in terms of managing all the projects and things.

I need to get back to it.

So that.

***

Guess this is about it. Had a busy day yesterday with I dont know how many calls. And I am staring at a busy day today as well. With multiple calls and meetings. As long as things are moving, I am ok 🙂

Time to get on with the day and get some work done.

Till tomorrow, over and out.