[RANT] 020821 – Morning Pages

A ranty post on the first-world problems that I am afflicted with.

5:20. Woke up a few minutes ago. Yesterday I slept at some 8:30 or something. I wasn’t feeling too well. I was on a podcast and then on a call and I could barely keep my eyes open. People on the other side could see that I was unwell. Through a Zoom window. Sigh. I think I was probably gassed, bloated, sleep-deprived, and tired.

So, what happened was this – a friend and I decided that we would go for a long walk on Sunday. For that, I had to be out of my house at 6. And that meant I had to wake up at 5. And that meant I had to sleep by 10. But I slept at 1 or something. I had some work to be done. So I was sleep-deprived. Plus right after the not-so-strenuous walk, I ate from Pancham Puri (the best damn place to eat kachra that gives pleasure to your senses). The very mention of it is making me salivate! The food we ate was so well “oiled” that I could see a thick layer of oil floating over the gravy. And then I ate some more crap from random places. And as a result, I was full. And despite that, I kept loading myself with chocolates and water and I dont know what all. And thus I was pukish. And it showed. Not just to me. But to others.

In fact, this seems to be a trend. Since I started walking. Once I am done with my walks, I sort of eat far more than what I am supposed to. And as a result, these walks are probably doing more harm than good. So, need to control these. And fix things. From today on, come hell or high water, if I can’t eat food made at a home, I will not eat. Enough of ordering from out.

I also need to stop ignoring that all this walking around is probably taking its toll on me. You know, it’s making me tired and sore (without any massage or stretching) and I need to let the body recover. Starting with sleep. Need to stop compromising on it.

So that.

In other news, the joy from life seems to have disappeared. You know, there’s not Joie de Vivre! I am not even playing chess, the thing that I had found comfort in after I realized I am friendless and loveless. In fact, I was talking to AnPa on Saturday and I realized that life seems to be going ok but there aren’t any large exciting things happening that I could live on top of. You know, there’s no dopamine hit. There’s no hedonistic treadmill that am riding on. I mean there’s nothing wrong with life per se. There’s some money coming on. Most things I work on are what I like. Side projects are going well. The friends and family column needs a little nudge but that’s ok. Or maybe that’s what I need to work on? Let’s see.

Moving on.

There’s less than 45 days to go for EBC. I am still not working out. Neither am I getting any breathing exercises done. Must start with Surya Namaskar and Push-Ups. Thing is, I am most productive in the morning, and if feel as if I have wasted my time and all that. I dont know the fix for this πŸ™

Ok. Enough of rants. Lemme talk of other things that are, well, not rants.

Over the weekend, while I couldn’t do a lot of work, I did record a couple of podcasts. Each of those taught me so much and allowed me to learn so much. I am wondering why I dont do more of these. Probably the laziness? I am not sure. Must fix this!

Then, I talked to someone who’s living the life I want to live. You know, works at the intersection of writing, strategy, teaching, travel, and more. He is doing exactly what I want to do with my life. Makes money. Hold intellectually stimulating conversations. Knows people at “higher” places. He even told me about a VERY VERY famous writer on his writing style. He said the writer would spend a year or two researching his next book. And then check into a hotel for a month and crank out the manuscript of 100,000 words. I think that’s fabulous. I must do the same. Take a month out each year and take a break for a month. And come out with a book. The other lesson I took (and got reinforced) from this chat was that the world celebrates success like nothing else. Need to get there.

Then, I gave gyaan to another aspiring entrepreneur about writing and books and all that.

Ok. Enough. It’s 6:29. More than an hour since I started writing. Need to get on with the day. Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 144
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 1
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 234

PS: Starting today, I will mark all ranty posts as [RANT]. I want to see how much I crib and rant and cry.

010821 – Morning Pages

A quick post about what I did yesterday and what I plan to do about those. More rant than anything else to be honest.

5:24. Woke up a few minutes ago. And I have less than 20 minutes to write today. Need to leave at 6 for a longish walk. I hope to do 20K steps today from 7ish till about 9ish. Let’s see how many I get in.

So let’s dive in. Here’s a quick recap of yesterday. And quick thoughts.

I took a break from walking. I averaged 15K steps this week before yesterday. I was on track to do 110K steps. Now, if I can get to 100K, I would be happy. And I am anyway eating like a mad man. Will stop from tomorrow on. I will also implement a no-call before 2 PM rule from tomorrow. At least I will not allow any calls to be scheduled before 2. The ones that are already on the calendar, I will honor those.

I realized yet again that success gets you friends like nothing else. If you are famous, rich, successful, funny, fit, good-looking, or anything on these lines, you would have FAR more friends than you’d normally have. I think I need to start working on this. I can’t change the way I look or my sense of humor. But I can work on getting rich and famous. So that’s next. After am back from EBC, I will focus on one thing only – getting famous. Come hell or high water.

I was forced to work from where I live in the morning as I had a podcast recording at an awkward time. And while I did that, I ate like crap, I wasted time like I was 19, I slept like I had all the money in the world. After the recording, I went to the Starbucks at the airport, and even though I spent like 3-4 hours there, I could get a lot done. I was in the zone while I was there. I need to find ways to get to a Starbucks or a co-working space as soon as I wake up. #note2self

I had a dark moment. At least two people I care for acted like dicks. They did not understand why I do things I do. They dont understand the sacrifices I am making to make ends meet. And not that I haven’t spelled it out for them. Despite that, they sort of piled onto me emotionally and made me lose track. I know they dont do it intentionally. And I know I need to be stoic enough to not let that affect me. I am working on it. I honestly dont really care what people tell me and how they behave with me. But when the ones I care for and want to care for me pile emotional baggage on me, I lose it. I need to find a way to not get swayed by these things.

Recorded a podcast. Loved it. Even though the conversation could be richer, I absolutely loved it. Must do more podcasts. If I have my way, I can do a podcast a day. But the thing is, I am one of those perfectionists and I want things to be perfect. And that means I dont allow my team to release these conversations. And thus affect the output. Maybe I will rely on my team for releases and then we’d see where it goes?

So yeah, these things. There’s more that I want to write but that’s all the time I have right now. Need to leave for a walk.

And here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 143
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0. Did not walk at all.
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 233

310721 – Morning Pages

Today’s post is about walking, discipline, work, gifts, photos and other random things. Read on!

7:35. Woke up a few minutes ago. I feel ok as I woke up. There’s a lot going on in my head. And I can’t pinpoint any of it. I mean there’s work that needs attention. There’s money that I need to find for more projects that I want to cook. There’s people that I am responsible for. There’s nails that I need to clip. There’s all the food that I am eating that I must avoid. As I type this, I am craving some random food. And as soon as I am done writing this, I know I will step out and order so much that I will be sleepy. And then I would curse myself for eating. I mean I know myself well. Funny humanness πŸ˜€

Ok, so quick recap of yesterday.

  1. Did about 17K steps. Walked up to Bandra (Popley’s showroom). And then took a rick back. So +1 on that.
  2. I ate three means. Including ice cream and dal makhani and roti and all the jazz. So -1000 on that.
  3. Saw this documentary about some great art heists over the last few years. It’s so fascinating that I want to retell these stories in #book2. I mean there could be a character that knows about the world of art and that could inspire the heist that I am planning in my book. No? Let’s see.
  4. Did some work but I continue to lag on all the work that I am supposed to be doing. Like crazy. I hope I can cover some backlog this weekend.
  5. I am recording a couple of episodes for Marketing Connect. So that should be cool. There’s nothing like talking marketing at a relaxed pace with other marketers that have interestined perspectives to share.

So that.

Coming back to steps. As of writing this, I am at 83K steps for the week. My goal is 110K steps. Let’s see if I can push and do 120. Looks unlikely with all the work and unwinding I need after a longish day at work. But let’s see. You never know. I may as well do it.

Thing is, the rigor and discipline I’ve shown with walking every day, if I can do the same with my calendar and tasks and work and other things, I would be in the same league at Elon and Jeff and Bill and Steve and all those. It’s just that I am unable to do it. I mean it’s just the walk. I am not even doing Surya Namaskar. Or push-ups. Or anything else for that matter. I know the long-term advantages of things. I know that my time is limited and I need to find better use of that. I know that I need to make money and try and become debt-free. I know that I need to earn to support all the dreams and ambitions of people that work with me. I know the deeper purpose, the higher reason, and all that. And yet I am not disciplined about things.

Ok. Rant. Anyone has any fixes here?

Lemme change tracks. Yesterday was hot. AF. I dont know what changed but I was sweating more than I would on regular days. I was more tired. The old tees that I wear pricked me as they used to in Delhi summers. I felt suffocated even without the mask. Was it more humid yesterday? Was it hotter? I think I must find a colder place to live in. You know, like near the poles? Maybe if things dont work out this year, I will go live higher up in the mountains. Lol, wishful thinking.

Wait.

I just realized that once I have my lunch, I dont really work. I merely while about and kill time. Maybe I should plan and fix all my meetings at this time? Good idea! As in, do all the work in the first half (from 8 AM to 2 PM). Have lunch. And then do all the meetings from 3 PM onward. Good idea. Will try to implement it from the next week itself. All my co-workers, beware!

So that. Oh, I may get to drive a car (VG’s) to Delhi. Towards the end of August as I wrap my house. I’ve always wanted to do a Mumbai Delhi road trip. And take pictures. And write about it. So that’s cool. Plus, it would help to take my mind off things, think about what I want to (which is a lot). And ship some things that I want to park in Delhi (specifically, some paintings that SG2 left behind). Looking forward to it. Most probably, it will be the weekend of 3-4-5 September. More than a month. Let’s see how it goes.

Before I end this post, I have to write about Nappa Dori. It was a friend’s birthday a few days ago and I ordered a small passport holder for her. And I put a message along with. You know, am a writer and all that! So while the order took more than 10 days to deliver (not everyone is Amazon), when it did get delivered, the way they had gone about it was superlative. To a point that I have become a fan of them for the rest of my life. Yeah, they are expensive. Yes, they may feel like overpriced gifts for rich people. But all we are, to be honest, is mush balls. And if a gift (or anything else for that matter) can’t make you feel good about things, what’s the point? So, Nappa Dori, you guys have my heart. And patronage.

And finally, as I end this, here are some pics that I clicked through the day yesterday.

Wait. I love the coffee one so much that I will repost it. Here.

Love this one. Would’ve made it to my Instagram if I were active there.

So that’s about it from today’s morning pages. See you tomorrow. Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 142
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 7
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 232

290721 – Morning Pages

Recap of yesterday. Thoughts about today. Thoughts about attempts at becoming financially free!

6:51. Woke up a few minutes ago. I think I slept well. I had two dreams that I cant recall p[properly but I know in one, there was Rana Sir giving me some dope about a new client I am pitching to. And in the other, I had a negative dream about some MF client. Otherwise, I feel rested and ok. So that’s a good thing.

Yesterday I was at the beach and I remembered Goo Goo Dolls and I was haunted by the images from the film (City of Angels) that featured that track. Look at this.

I mean I was at the secluded beach per se and there were people sprinkled all over the beach. Each busy with their loved on. Or with their friends. Or something. I just couldn’t get the image out of my mind. I think I need to write a post on that. If only I had the time! #parkedIdeas #toWrite

I also walked some 17K steps during the day. I think I am on track to doing another 100K steps this week. The 17K I did yesterday were in two sets (2K and 14K). It helped that I had a few work calls and I kept going. The good thing was that while walking, I clicked a few pictures.

Here are a few unedited ones.

I have stopped Yoga altogether. I am not even attempting push-ups. Apart from the walk, I am not doing shit. I have learned that I need external motivation to do things. Damn it sucks. And since I am at self-loathing, I am eating a lot. And yesterday I had to fast and I ate three meals. And all ordered from outside. I think I can control this part for sure, if not other things. Let’s see how it goes.

So anyhow. That’s the recap from yesterday.

Today is probably going to be a good day. In the sense that I dont have too many calls planned during the day. I know as the day progresses, things would change and people would demand my time. But I remain committed to controlling my time as much as I can. Let’s see how it goes.

A thought that popped into my head yesterday was that I need to become an influencer for sure. In the traditional sense. And in the non-conventional sense. The deal is, being an influencer gives you a reach that anonymity can’t. And it gives you opportunities that you otherwise would not get. I was talking to someone yesterday and she mentioned that they had used a stand-up comic for a medical brand. Imagine a person who knows how to crack jokes doling out advice on medicine. Ludicrous. But true. Just because she’s an influencer. So that.

I know I dont have what it takes to become one. You know, looks, gift of gab, ability to make conversations, lot of time, narcissism et al. But I know what I have. The desire to be financially free. And I think the path to that is either via a business that works when you sleep. Or your reputation, that works for you while you sleep.

Yeah. For me, influence = reputation.

Naval captured it best in this how to get rich thread. If you haven’t read that yet, here.

So yeah. That.

Oh, I have a recording to do today for the Marketing Connect podcast. I am recording after a few weeks and I am looking forward to it. Let’s see how it goes. The issue would be to get the steps in after the recording. I mean it takes me 2 hours to get in 10K steps and if I finish the recording at 8:30 or so, I will need to be out till 1030 and with all the strays bugging you at all corners of the city, I really dont want to. Anyhow. Let’s see how it goes. If I cant even get the steps in, I should quit the ambition of Everest someday. And closer, the EBC.

Guess this is about it for the day.
Time to get ready and head to Starbucks.

Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 140
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 5
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 230

080221 – Morning Pages

Random update from a day where I finally had access to the Internet. Yay!

8:21. Just woke up. I think I have more coffee and egg-fried rice in my system than I have blood or spleen. I mean just yesterday I had 5 black coffees that were darker than my darkest thoughts and tasted worse than a generic dish at a Michelin Star restaurant.

So today I shall start with #freewriting for #book2. Or else by the time I come to it, I would be done with the dance on the keyboard! Here we go…

Coffee. The elixir of life. For her. For him, it was Gin. They were high on things as different as that. And yet they found sobriety in each other’s company. They made an odd couple. Wait. They weren’t a couple yet. They probably would never be one. Both had too much baggage from too many relationships over too many years. They knew that they like each other’s company and despite all odds, they seemed to be wanting to make it work. Both of them did things that were uncharacteristic for them. Rujuta would bite her tongue. Chintan would try and speak up. When Mrs. Gomes saw them like that, she knew either the relationship would end in a magnificent doom or they would flourish and spawn generations that would sing songs of their love!

Their coming together was as unlikely and as unpredictable as their eventual separation would be.

Rujuta had landed up at Caravan Serai by mistake when she heard the music waft to her ears as she was strolling on the beach. If not for that acoustic Hindi set by Jay, she wouldn’t be there. Once she was in, she was charmed by Mrs. Gomes and the ship she ran. She had to know more about her. At first, she had not even spotted Chintan perched onto a corner, lost into his papers. Mrs. Gomes had to tell her about another writer hanging out at her place. She was not in the mood to handle flirtatious comments from a middle-aged man. Especially from those self-proclaimed writers that were mere bloggers than real writers. She did not have a problem with that but the pretentiousness that came along was a put off to her. So she remained polite and feigned interest and just when Mrs. Gomes was to make the introduction, she faked a phone call and eased out of earshot.

Chintan had strayed into Caravan Serai in search of Gin. He found it surprising that no one seems to have perfected a Gin and Coke. I mean how tough could it be to pour 30 ml of Gin in a can full of Diet Coke? It was more robotic and impersonal than flipping a burger at a Mcdonald’s! And yet no one seemed to do it well. Plus most people found the combination weird. Gin was mostly had with Tonic water. The Brit decided that and the rest of the world had followed suit. Not Chintan. He wanted it with Coke. And he hated when people would double-check with him. Udita didn’t even bat an eyelid when he asked for a Gin and Diet Coke. That was the first check. The height of the bar table and the barstool with a high backrest was the next. And the unobtrusive staff was what sealed the deal. After weeks of search, he had found a place where he would pen his magnum opus. It was about time he got his ass moved on it. He had a point to prove and no time to lose.


Phew!

Good to have written something for #book2 after so many days.

And here’s an idea. I don’t know if I have thought about this earlier. How about I call the place I create in Goa Caravan Serai? Fuck that would be incredible! #note2self

Now, coming to morning pages, the journal.

Here we go…

So, I finally have the internet on the phone. Both the phones actually – Vodafone and Jio. I feel so connected and so empowered that I think I can change the world. There is spring in my step, optimism in my tone, and general excitement that I cant express in words! All thanks to this new place that has a mobile phone tower on top of it. Even the number of tweets I sent out yesterday is a testimony. Fuck, I did not know that an Internet connection could be so important.

The other thing is that this place has a balcony and I realized how much I love having one. Last time I had a house that a balcony was three or four years ago. What a balcony it was. It was on the 24th floor and overlooked the Godrej factories. I could point the camera at anything at any time and I’d get a fabulous picture. I’ve love heights all my life. Must strive to get to the top of a skyscraper. No, not so high that I can’t make out the signs of life underneath. But enough to be able to spot things. Like a 30th floor or something. Lol. Here is a picture from that, from my archives!

From a rented house that at Wadhwa’s The Address in Ghatkopar. Took this from some iPhone ;P

Apart from that yesterday was pretty ok. I was mostly holed up at the place am staying – I had internet! But I still had to step out to get things done. I just can’t work from where I live. I need that “motion” to move to a different place to work. And the new place am at, it’s kind of far from any of the coworking spaces in Goa and thus had to rely on good old cafes. And guess who all came to rescue? CCD and McD! These were the two places that were open, empty, had comfortable seating, even an AC. I got some writing done as well.

Oh, writing. The book am editing, it was a struggle to write a tiny para. It took all I had and yet I could not finish it! It’s not writer’s block per se. It’s just that I was at a loss of, well, words. Lol.

As I write this, I played some Harvey Specter playlist. Yeah, there’s a thing like that. Which works fine for most days. But I realized that I like that music that I can sing along to. Especially when I have to work, I need music that I can hum along to. And while I was searching for music on youtube (thanks to the Internet that’s working :D), I realized that I’d love to write some music, make films. No, I am not a director material. May be I am. I don’t know. But I like how these visuals on the screen and the sounds and other things that accompany it make me want to take a plunge. Plus, these images and visuals can be so provocative that you could move mountains! Sigh.

Anyhow. So I recorded a podcast yesterday. This was with a marketer that sells AR and VR solutions to large businesses. While there was nothing new that I did not already know, I loved talking to him. I must get back to it. The effort it takes to research, record, edit, publish and market is insane but I think it’s worth it. See this tweet for example with the lessons I learned from him.

Each time I do a recording, it allows me to meet a lot more people than I already know. Plus that’s proof of work and that allows me to approach more people! Must get back to it full-steam! Oh, btw, today on, I start a “full-time” gig at The Podium. I have decided to focus on and give all of 2021 to The Podium. Akshay has talked me into doing this and I think I can support him for sure. He is clearly the wiser among the two of us. Unless something large and radical comes my way. Let’s see how this goes. And no, Podium is still in investment mode and that means I need to find work to pay for my bills. So, here’s the thing. Help me get work that I can do as a freelancer. Marketing. Content. Writing. Editing. You get the drift.

And the last thing before I sign off for the day is that I finally pushing the Goa guide. It is here. The response so far has been very encouraging. Let’s see where it goes from here on.

Over and out for the day. See you guys on the other side.