Rant Archives | aboutSG

031121 – Morning Pages

I talk about festivals and unreasonable people moving the world and making us humans!

7:49. So, the Diwali cheer is in the air. There is lights all around and it’s a fabulous scene! I am in Gurgaon and the lights are brilliant. To a point that I would have loved to just drive around looking at the gorgeousness that us humans are capable of creating. Of course, one may argue that anything we create would never be as gorgeous as what Mother Nature planned so effortlessly. But still. It was gorgeous to walk around.

Anyhow. I like when the world outside is decked up like that. I wish the decking up was a year-long affair. Well, not really. Cos if it was decked up all year long, people wouldn’t feel special about the festivals. You know, how you respect and love things and are attracted to the ones that are rare? That!

Thing is, to me, the meaning of festivals has changed over the years. It was mostly religious when I was young. And then it became an opportunity to meet friends and family and spend time together. Then it became a ritual – you know, a thing in a year that I would do with my family. Something that I know my parents would look up to. I mean I am assuming they looked forward to it. Not sure if they did 😀 Anyhow, Now it has become a time when everyone is on a break and I can use that downtime to think more and do more. I am sure in another few years it would become an occasion to take breaks!

The point is, festivals are lit! And here’s a film that I love AF. Love Actually. It’s a film about love and belonging and seperation and togetherness. Around Christmas, New Year etc. Here’s a song from the film. See it. You know, I often see this and pine to have a love thingy like one of these people. Lol.

Moving on.

The highlight of yesterday was that I had this epiphany about being an unreasonable person. So the people I am working on an event with, the owner of that agency is the most polite, humble, good, kind, AND the most unreasonable man ever.

Let me about his unreasonableness. He is the kinds that will go promise the world to the world. And then deliver. Despite all odds. Anjum Sir said in a class once, “with you, without you or in spite of you”. Anna is like that. If a client wants it, Anna delivers. Inspite of all odds. What’s amazing is not just his ability to deliver things but the fact that he’s got a team of people that can move the mountains to ensure that whatever Anna has committed is done. Come what may.

That is the thing. Unreasonable man. A team that is dying to deliver what the unreasonable man wants. Each of you needs to become unreasonable in your expectations. Each of you needs to find people that you will give an arm and a leg to deliver what you want. And not in an authoritative, abusive, bossy way. But in a way that everyone is aligned to deliver on that. Everyone understands that the magician, the unreasonable is being that not because he is like that but the unreasonableness helps me create opportunities, reputation, and a virtuous circle that elevates everyone!

So that. Here’s a question. Who is the most unreasonable person that you know of? Tell me more about him / her.

And here’s the journal!

Emoticon: :). Was an ok day. I juggled multiple things at work. I managed them quite ok, I guess. I went out for a dinner with some colleagues I am on a project with. Met a friend for wine and all. In all, a nice day. Could do with more such days.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. I did a 10-minute session of Headspace but I am still not being in the zone.
Things that I am grateful for
1. People generally tend to like me, trust me. I am grateful that I give out such vibes.
Things that would make my today great
1. Work :D. I have a few things open at work and today most clients will not be working. So I will have some peace with it.
A daily affirmation.
I am an unreasonbale man and I take shots that are out of my league. And once in a while, I hit those. And it’s pretty amazing when that happens.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
Can’t think of anything specific. It was in general a good day!
What could have made yesterday better?
1. I got late when I had to meet a friend. I should have been on time. I hate it when I am late.
Quote for the day
“It is the unreasonable man that is responsible for all the progress we’ve made as humans.”

Here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0
#noCoffee – 0
#aPicADay – o
Daily Journal – 27
Money spent – 4148
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 27
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 27

261021 – Morning Pages

A VERY short post today. Did not have time and thus had to crunch my thoughts and ideas into a short one.

8:33. This is probably going to be the shortest one I’ve ever written. The thing is, I have a lot of work and while I want to prioritize morning pages over everything else, I am unable to. I can rant about it but without any further ado, here is the morning pages. I will lean on SM’s journal to write about this.

Oh before I start, today is AS’ event and I hope and pray and wish that it goes well. More about it on another day.

Here we go with the journal.

Emoticon: :|. I slept well. Maybe some 6 hours straight. Not sure what caused it. But can’t complain. But then I have tons of things on my head. But that’s ok. I am ok with this sort of a life.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
Things that I am grateful for
1. I can plan my time to deliver things. For example, I dont have time today to even write morning pages and yet I know that I will be able to deliver the urgent deliverable I am working on.
2. I dont put names here but this one I need to. There’s this guy, Paras. He works with me. I am grateful that he respects me and he is around EACH time I need him. I hope that I am around when he needs me. And I need to have an army of people that is around me. Right now, I think I have no one when it comes to being able to trust em with life. VG comes close. Paras is closest. But I get that they have their own shit happening and thus I may not be their priority. I wish I could have people that made me their priority while I made them mine. You know, not seeking a romantic relationship here. But one where I know someone has my back. Ok, rant. Moving on.
Things that would make my today great
1. If I can finish work on time and go home, it would be great. Lol. Everything is work. Mr. Garg needs a life.
A daily affirmation.
Each person I care for – family, relatives, friends, acquiantences etc – they are happy healthy engaged and thriving.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. Spoke to a cousin of mine. I am not the one to invest too much time in family matters and I spoke to this one probably after ages. But it was great to talk to her. I will probably meet her tomorrow. Let’s see.
2. I met a friend for dinner / coffee. It was so much fun to catch up with her.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. I really wanted to clip my nails. But I could not. It I could’ve, it would have been awesome.
2. I ate like a hog. And as I write this, have ordered a lot of food already. I wish I could avoid eating. I remember telling a friend that when I am stressed, I get hungry and horny. And I am feeding into both these vices with carbs and porn. It sucks. Need to fix it.
Quote for the day
Progress > Perfection.

Ok. Now some words are out of the way, I will try and write till 9:14 and hit publish. So, in terms of things that I am thinking about, I updated the Work With Me page. In fact, the quote of the day came from this page.

I am also thinking about a rebranding project that I am working on. So far it seems to be going ok but if I dont action it today or tomorrow, it would go off-track.

I am also thinking about where I want to be post-Diwali. I am really thinking about being in Nepal. Not Kathmandu. Some remote place in the hills. I liked it there. Just that Internet would be a problem. I am thinking of Goa as well but the thing with Goa is that it is no longer cheap. And second, I have explored it already. Also, this time I want to be on a mountain. I need to get into fitness regime for the trek that I would undertake #in2022. Any ideas? clues? recommendations?

Ok. It’s 9:14. Publishing.

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 0.
#noCoffee – 0. Had a LOT!
#aPicADay – 18. Yesterday’s here.
Daily Journal – 19
Money spent – 7704
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 19
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 19

221021 – Morning Pages

I talk about how my dreams of a nation are getting shattered! And more.

8:54. Some hotel in Gurgoan. Before you ask, no I am not sick or tired of sleeping on a different bed each night. I actually like it. Let’s see how many days this continues.

Ok morning pages. I have to start by “declaring” that today I am fasting. Come what may. And I will not even have coffee. Or Coke. Only water. And chewing gum. I dont feel good. There’s way too much kachra that I have been feeding myself. I mean there’s nothing that comes close to eating the perfect Chole Bhature in Delhi and the after-taste is great and you feel good. But after a while, all the maida sort of blows up my belly. So, I am done. At least today. Not sure about tomorrow. But today, I am on a fast. If I eat something today, I will donate 5000 to a charity of Krishna’s choice.

With that out of the way, let’s talk the real morning pages.

So, unless you live under the cave, you would know that SRK’s son is in jail. And there was this Fab India ad that created a storm. And yesterday I discovered there was another ad by Ceat that made people mad. And I think I mentioned on morning pages that an email exchange on my alumni group sort of showcased the rift in the society and the angst that is simmering just below the surface.

And, it SUCKS. To a point that I have decided (and it’s a #lifeEvent for me) that I will move on. And I regret that I did not move on earlier. I don’t know what I would do (the skills I have are not really transferable) but I will move on. Even if I have to become a cabbie. I know it’s one life and time doesn’t turn back and I am closer to my death than how many years I have been around. I know my biggest “career” bet (with films with TRS, in terms of efforts, money, emotions) is right here. I know that I wouldn’t be able to start from scratch. But I know that I am out. I will probably plan the move. I mean it may take a few months. Or a few years. Or whatever. But I will move on. Here’s a promise to self. #sgLifeGoal. I will not die in India. Unless I can “affect” how India is.

So that.

Here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :|. It’s tough being who I am. Conflicted. All over the place. Spread out. Etc etc.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
Things that I am grateful for
1. The fact that I can decide on how to spend my time.
2. The fact that I can use the gift of the gab decent enough to get things done and create opportunities.
Things that would make my today great. Just one thing.
1. If I can fast, it would be great. I’ve been up for 40 odd minutes and I’ve just had water. Need to sustain this for another 14 or so hours 😀
A daily affirmation. I can control my urges and wishes. I am the master of my sense. If I decide to stay hungry, I can go for hours. And even days.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. I ate Chole Bhature yesterday. Loved the taste. I realised that I am not as taste-dead as I thought I was.
2. It was amazing to sit by myself in an empty office of a friend and get a few things done.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. Work. Funnily, there is nothing on the top of my mind but work. I would have loved to get more things done than what I got done yesterday.
2. Food. If I could control the food that I ate, it would be better.
Quote for the day
Dar ke aage jeet hai! Lol!

Guess this is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 3
#noCoffee – 0
#aPicADay – 14. Yesterday’s here.
Daily Journal – 15
Money spent – 11268
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 15
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 15

151021 – Morning Pages

A #shortPost for the day where I talk about what I am thinking about.

8:27. Home. Woke up a few minutes ago. Had a very very long day. Worked so much that I did not realize when it was like 11:30 in the night. I think I did this much work after a while. Which is ok. Right now, I need to work hard to make things work. But the thing is, I feel spent. Even though I have slept for like 7 hours. It’s like, you know when you have nothing to create, nothing to do. You feel all your energy and creative juices have been taken away from you. If I feel like this on a day-to-day basis, I would probably feel burnt out.

Anyhow. Moving on.

So the plan for the day is go to some Starbucks (nearest is 12 KMs away :() and get some work done. I need to move out. I feel the need to see things on the outside. I am so glad that lockdown is over and I can go out and all that. Just that Delhi does not offer a Starbucks next to my place. That’s one thing I miss btw about Mumbai. I could literally walk to so many Starbucks outlets. Sigh.

Wait. Maybe Gurgaon could offer what Mumbai had. Maybe I could live in Gurgaon for a few days? Yeah! Sounds like a plan.

Must act and find a place. Let’s see how do I find short-term rentals. In an ideal world, I want to live in a hotel. Let’s see if I can afford one. Shall spend time looking for one. Know of any decent ones?

Also, here’s a thing that I have been thinking about. Can I create a like where I am a writer / podcaster / YouTube / content creator? Where 1000 true fans pay me enough to not worry about work? And then I create that dent. I mean could being a content creator be a path to financial independence? #currentThoughts

Guess this is about it. Here’s the song for the day. Hotel California.

And here’s the journal.

Emoticon: :|.
Still feeling shitty. I think it’s the general state of mind that I need to work on.
Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
Need to work on this. Yesterday, after shower, I did sit for 3 minutes of meditation but even that was difficult. Need to amp up.
Things that I am grateful for
1. I am grateful that most people that I am with, they allow me to be who I want to be.
2. I could avoid coffee yesterday. Now that I have gone without one for a day, I will try to not have it today either. Let’s see how it goes.
3. One amazing thing of being at home is that get home-made food. Now that I have it, I realise how much I craved for simple meals. Food anyway is not big on my agenda. So that.
Things that would make my today great
1. Like yesterday, I think the greatness is linked to work. If I can get some work done, I would feel like I am on the top of the world.
2. I want to step out and sit somewhere and work. Let’s see when I manage to do that.
3. I want to meet some of my people. You know, old friends, my team, others that I know already. The ones that I want to see happy, successful, thriving etc.
A daily affirmation
I am worth a billion dollars and I use this money and access to enable my people to do more with their lives.
Amazing things that happened yesterday?
1. I could skip coffee. I have captured this already.
2. I had a tough situation at work. I have been able to manage it. I may end up not working with that client but at least it’s not getting dirty.
3. I could manage time to juggle various projects that I am on. It’s a little tricky but I could.
What could have made yesterday better?
1. If I could’ve got some sort of a workout in, I would have felt better. So far, I havent been able to.
2. If I did not have to loan my time for money, it have been awesome.
3. If people in general were little nicer in terms of how they speak, the world would be a far far better place.
Quote for the day
“Passion is for losers and for hobbies. Have obsession with your purpose in life” – Naveen Jain

And here’s the streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
NOFAP – 0
#noCoke – 1
#noCoffee – 1
#aPicADay – 8. Here is today’s.
Daily Journal – 8
Money spent – 0 :D. And no, I did not track. Just that I was indoors and did not step out and thus no expenses.
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
Daily Mail to #teamSG – 8
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
Morning Pages / Meditations – 8

041021 – Morning Pages

Quick post on how it is to come back to a connected life.

9:17. Kathmandu. I am at one of those 3-star hotels that position themselves as 4 and fail miserably at it. So while you pay a lot of money for it, in reality, you have really wasted that. In fact, this whole trip, I have been on autopilot per se. I have not tried to be the pushy, type-A planner that I know myself to be. Rather, I have merely gone with what others planned and followed instructions. To be honest, it was not bad. Having things managed for you by others. But what sucked was that I was unable to control the amount of money I spent. I had imagined I will spend not more than 50K. And the trip is already 4X of that. And I have two more days to go. But then, that’s ok. Such is life and these are the things that make life worth living – you know, the ups and the downs. There are way too many highlights in exchange. And I think this is why I even make money in the first place – to be able to live for experiences.

So, the highlight of yesterday has to be the relaxed, lazy day spent strolling around Thamel. The thing is, I like the idea of this idleness for a large part of the day. And then a lot of action for some part of the day. And then repeat.

To be honest, I quite like Kathmandu (even with all the pollution, dust, and sneaky salespeople). It has all the good things that India has – unorganized mess, crazy traffic, winding roads, freedom to jaywalk, chaotic life, etc. And then more – a hub for tourists, small lanes, cozy restaurants, cute coffee shops that could serve as the perfect inspiration for writing shit. You get the drift. I think this is the same as Goa. Or a Dubai. Or a Bangkok. The option to be in a city that is multi-cultural and international in its very fabric. A Delhi or a Mumbai or a Bangalore is not that. It is more business, more work, more day-to-day large business kind of place. I think I am more suited for a place that has more international, cosmopolitan life. But then the dreams that I hold so close, the ambitions that are so lofty, I dont know what to do about those.

Or maybe, just maybe, this is all an after-effect of spending so much time in the mountains that I am sort of disenchanted from the city life. Once I am back to work and the daily grind, I would probably forget all that I am thinking about and I would be back in action – you know, hustle, work, dreaming, meeting people, doing things etc etc.

Apart from this rant about work and life, the minds pretty much blank. I am still jittery while typing even though I am on my own computer. I will probably need another couple of days to get back to normal, I think. Let’s see when that happens and how I feel when that happens.

Guess this is it.

Oh, I dont have the time to work on streaks today as well. I would start those from tomorrow on, hopefully. Plus I’ve had coffee, coke, and sugar in a million forms and I dont want to think about it right now.

So, till tomorrow, over and out.