040421 – Meditations

Morning musings. Nothing in particular.

6:27. Andheri.

So I just woke up. I think I slept at 9 or 9:30 types last night. And I slept well, I think. I mean I don’t recall any dreams per se but I think I slept ok. So a 9-hour sleep. Need to do more of these. In fact last night I was talking to someone and she said that she wakes up at 330. When I asked her when she slept, she said 10 PM. 330 is too early even by my standards. I want to wake up at 430. And that means I need to start sleeping at 10ish. Let’s see. I want to do a lot of things. If only wishes were horses.

I am gunning for a 48-hour fast today on. Lemme talk about this silly thing I do. The days I eat a lot of crap (like I did over the last two days), I get into this guilt trip that I need to live for long (at least 120) and thus I need to eat better. So I decide to take up these longish fasts. And that makes compels me to order that thing that I want to taste before I go for a fast (often, ice-creams, paranthas, Maggi et al). Think of that last thing that people want to eat before they die. And then I eat even more. And then I get bloated like a pig. And then I go on another spiral of guilt. And the loop becomes a never-ending one. Damn.

Last night as well, I had ice-cream as my last meal. And I did not want it per se. I merely wanted to “end” my unhealthy binge with something I love and yet is unhealthy. So that. Let’s see.

For a change, I plan to stay home today (and make the place a little more livable – anyone wants to come and help me?) and may be head out for a walk if at all. So fast should be easy. I may have a breakfast meeting today though. In case that happens, I will try to avoid the temptation to eat. But in case I do eat, I will start after that and will take a shot from that time on. I HAVE to get fit. In fact, the Hernia is also acting up. I need to get that fixed.

Today I am also working on my less-than-often letter to mentors and friends and others that want to see me succeed. In case you want a copy, here’s a link.

So, there’s nothing else that I want to write today (while there’s a lot on my head).

Except… something that I’ve been promising and not delivering – book2!

Like I said a few days ago, I don’t even recall where am I with book2. So, whatever I write will be disjointed. Here we go…

[START]

The clouds in the sky were low, dark, and dense. Apart from the dense shadows of these clouds, the beach underneath was otherwise secluded. For a regular at Palolem, Rujuta found it surprising to start with. But then she realized that this is what probably happened every monsoon. The tourists stay away. The migrants move back to their hometowns. The locals breathe a sigh of relief. The rains wash away the sins and stains and stink and scandals that Goa was a party to over the last year. It’s probably nature’s attempt at resetting the savageness on probably its most gorgeous creation. Rujuta made a note to ask Tarana about it. Or may be Raunak, now that he had begun talking. Even though he’s been behind the bars a long time without any access to any material from outside, Rujuta found Raunak’s understanding of people.

“What a waste that Raunak is locked up in jail. If he were out there, he’d have given those motivational babas a run for their money,” she thought to herself.

She continued to walk along the beach. She had no agenda today. Unlike her. There was a lot happening in her personal life – a new place, a new man that she finally liked, a new adventure. The place that was central to all the things happening to her had a lot happening for itself. The missing people, hints of crimes committed decades ago, transition from one generation to another. On a regular day, she would have been at it and wouldn’t have rested till she sorted these issues. Like Tarana told her, she did not like the idea of open windows.

[END]

Not too many words but a post nonetheless! And to end today’s post, here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 114
  • #aPicADay – 94
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 25
  • #noCoke – 25
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 1

270321 – Meditations

A mundane update about how I am living, feeling, thinking and all that on this Saturday morning.

7:09. Andheri.

And we have a new theme. I got talking to a fellow planner (KS) yesterday and her inputs told me that I need to work on my website. And I agree. So, over the next few days, I will experiment with various looks and themes and so on and so forth. Let’s see how it goes.

The biggest news of yesterday is that I couldn’t manage the 48-hour fast that I had planned. I did about 38 and then I quit. I was not hungry, to be honest. I think it was the fact that I was “live-tweeting” the fast and every time I would put a tweet out, I’d think about food so much that I would miss it! Plus the survival gene probably kicked in – how can this body be starving and yet talking and thinking about food. The other thing that happened was that I was stressed and I had to eat to manage it. So that.

It was cool, to be honest, but when I broke the fast, I ate like a pig. Three full meals. In one go. And then some packets of chips. And then another. Damn. And was bloated to a point that I could not concentrate on work. I need to identify food that bloats me and stop having those. I also need to fix my water situation. I think I retain way too much water. Maybe I will log everything I eat and how I feel after that? How tough could it be? I am perpetually on my phone and it’s one more note that I need to make. No?

Let’s see. It’s too much effort but why not? I have to live long. And prosper.

The good news is that I can do these fasts at the drop of the hat. I just need to do them longer. And do them more frequently. My ideal state is when I’d be having 6 meals in a week. Let’s see.

And then add some sort of a workout in my plan. I also need to quit on all the tea I am having. The thing is, when I wake up, I am not tired. Neither am I irritable. But I know that I hardly get any sleep. I don’t think I get dreams. Dark circles and bags under my eyes are now as big as a Kangaroo has and I can have an offspring live under those. So that needs to be fixed.

What else to talk about?

Well, I am creatively stuck. At both work and non-work projects. At work, I cant seem to crack a simple presentation. I’ve been at it for more than 2 weeks now. On non-work projects (Aram Nagar, Films, book2, aPicADay, etc.), I cant seem to crack ideas that are interesting or inspiring. I know I can be that mediocre person and deliver whatever crap I can come up with. And more or less, people would accept it. Most things, projects, etc are waddling in mediocrity. But then how do I face myself after I deliver the work?

I think that’s about it for the day. The track of the day is Jagjit Singh’s Koi Fariyaad. Here. The plan for the day is to spend time with Surbhi. And try and work (remember those projects that I am stuck with?).

That’s it for the time being. Before I move on, here’s the streak…

  • Morning Pages – 106
  • #aPicADay – 86
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 17. Quitting tea as well. Even if that means I need to stop going to Starbucks. Moving to only water or lemonade.
  • #noCoke – 17
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0