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Tag: shortPosts

250321 – Morning Pages

A quick post about ambitions, expectations, hurt, bitterness and COVID.

6:46 AM. I woke up a minute ago. Made my bed. Opened the window to the world outside and put on some music. I felt like listening to this one. And here I am typing this morning meditation.

Yeah, the morning pages need to be rechristened as morning meditations. That’s what these are. Thoughts from things that are clouding my head. For example, I slept last night thinking about how humbling the entire idea of life is. About how success is the only way you get to make great friends. About how the action (and not perfection) is what makes the world go round.

Something happened and I was fucked in the head last night. To a point, I thought I would quit things that trigger it. You know, social media. More than that, expectation from people. But then I don’t know if it was Louise Hay or Morgan Housel or Seneca or even Prof. SG that told me that all misery is in expectation. And once you stop expecting things, you are sort of free. So that happened.

The other thing that caught my eye is this tweet from PG. He postulates that people like me are “bitter and highly effective at realizing that bitterness.”

From Paul Graham. See this.

Now, I know that I am smart.
I also know that I am ambitious.
And I have yet to achieve anything, leave alone “very much”. If PG says such people are bitter, they ought to be. However, in my case, I am anything but bitter. Rather, this non-achievement makes me do more. Push more. Open more doors. May be, secretly I am. Maybe this bitterness is that part of my life that I don’t know that exists. You know, the ‘unknown self’ of Johari Window. So I need to think about it.

The other thing I am worried about is rising COVID cases in Mumbai. Now we officially have more cases than we ever had. More than when the pandemic was at its peak and we were banging bartans and lighting candles and chanting mantras and all that. Yesterday we had more than 5000 cases in Mumbai alone (out of 40000 odd that were tested). When you look at the number, it looks small, considering we have almost 2 crore people in the city. But when you juxtapose (I love this word) on people like me that are super-social (even if I am pseudosocial) that meet thousands of people, the risk gets real.

So that.

I think this is about it. There are more things that I’ve written on my echoChamber about the thing that I was fucked in the head about. Someday all of it will go in my biography. If I ever become someone whose story is worth telling the next generations. Lol. Everyone wants to be immortal.

Anyhow, that’s it for the short post. At some point in time I need to get back to writing till my heart’s full. May be when I actually start waking up at 5. Or when they start a Starbucks that opens at 5. Morning is the best damn time ever.

And here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages – 104
  • #aPicADay – 84
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0 (ate 4 full meals – damn stress eating).
  • #noCoffee – 15
  • #noCoke – 15
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0. I still haven’t been able to wake up at 5.

240321 – Morning Pages

Quick post on things that are at the top of my head. And what I am doing about those.

8:26 AM. Starbucks. I dont have a lot of time today to write a long-drawn post. This will be a short post.

First things first. Yesterday, I got myself a financial planner.

No, I don’t have a lot of money to invest, barely any, come to think of it. But I realized I need some discipline. And thus the planner. In all of yesterday, I opened an MF account, activated my stockbroking account, made a spreadsheet to track money, and a few more things. Took me an hour but I did it. If you are reading this and do not belong to the Ambani-Adani clan, you must do this. No, I am yet to see any benefit but I know it would be useful next time we have a COVID kind of crisis.

To augment what she tells me, I think I will read more and more about practical finance. You know, things like Rich Dad, Poor Dad et al. Like I said earlier. I am reading Psychology of Money. Lemme talk about it a bit. The funny thing is that there is NOT one thing new that this book tells me. I know most things that MH has written. Really. I don’t mean to be boastful. But I know. However, the thing is, despite knowing all that, I am poor. I am in debt. So there’s something wrong for sure. Maybe I just have the academic knowledge and I lack what it takes to translate ideas into action? May be combined with the financial advisor, I would see some change? I am hoping I will figure out soon. Maybe the importance I gave to the freedom of time needs to be coupled with knowledge and action about the importance of money? Lets see.

Talking of reading, I am also reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. This is again a self-help book and again, as I read this, I am nodding at every line and I think I know most of what she’s talking about. Lol.

Here’s a thing. I have oscillated on the two extremes about self-help books. There are times when I love them and recommend those to people. And there are times when I abhor them to a point that I scoff at people that I spot reading these books. I know, I shouldn’t do this but then that’s how I am.

The next I want to read is 48 Laws of Power. I had read it when I was a kid and I need to re-read it. This rereading was a project that I started with Anubhab. He’s read the entire thing but I did not even start. Need to action it. Once I finish either the money book or the life book.

After this, I think I will spend all of 2021 reading as many self-help books around money as I can lay my hands on. What books would you recommend? Repeat. Selfhelp. On money. You know, books like Rich Dad, Poor Dad, etc. #help!

To be honest, the only good thing is that I am back to reading. Last few days weeks months years, I hadnt read anything serious. Except long-form pieces on blogs and websites. Its so good to hold a book and carry it around. Like a companion. In fact, last evening I walked around with just a book. Just like the old times when I was far younger and far more hopeful about life and world and all that.

So that.

I think this is it. Oh, I did make some progress on various projects – Syndicate, SoG Grant, the Aram Nagar documentary. On the documentary specifically, let’s see if we can shoot some this weekend. I think it’s time to make a page about it on the website! No?

And, here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages – 103
  • #aPicADay – 83
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 14 . Lot of tea though, which I am assuming is better. I have to order something at Starbucks.
  • #noCoke – 14
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0. I still haven’t been able to wake up at 5.

220321 – Morning Pages

Short rant. Better ignored.

7:13. Andheri.

I just woke up and my eyes are groggy and all that. Nothing new with that. What is new is that I am not sure what to write. A lot has been happening with me and there is this general sense of overwhelm that’s shrouded me. Things both at work and personal level. Things at heart and head level. I dont even know how to report those here.

Anyhow. Moving on. Monday is here. That means the world is back to action. And that means I need to be back in action as well. And that means I will have a busy sort of a day. And that’s a good thing. I am thinking I will try and fast today and if I am busy, I can often forget about food and all. So that.

In other news, I made the first draft of SoG Grant live. Here. Read it if you want to and lemme know what you think. I will formalise it over the next few days and then roll out. This is one of those ways to pay it forward.

I dont have anything else to write or report. The head’s way too blank. Maybe I will write more tomorrow.

And, here’s the streaks.

  • Morning Pages – 101. I made a mistake in count. This is the 101th post for Morning Pages.
  • #aPicADay – 81
  • 10K steps a day – 0.
  • OMAD – 0 (stress ate multiple meals)
  • #noCoffee – 12
  • #noCoke – 12
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0

200321 – Morning Pages

A shortPost on how I spent yesterday and what I plan to do today.

8:52. I just woke up. I slept early but slept for long. Which is ok.

So the highlight has to be that I successfully did a 48-hour fast. It was surprisingly easy. To a point that I think I can do it often. In March, I’ve tried this multiple times and I have failed every time, except this one. In fact, I want to try and move to that 6 meals a week kind of diet where I eat once a day and then keep a 48-hour fast. Let’s see how it goes. The critical thing would be to not eat today till about 2 PM when I will have the meal of the day and then not eat anything till 2 tomorrow. Why 2? I saw an Instagram post by Dave Asprey where he says that’s apparently the human gut is designed to work the best at 2 PM. Let’s see how that affects me.

Ok. Moving to the next things.

For a change, I want to take a break and not do any actual work. Lol. Arti would be so so happy reading this!

I have a few options.

a, I can either spend the day reviewing various things / projects that I am working on and the next steps that I need to take on those. I typically do this once every month towards the end and for some reason, I feel like doing this today.

b, I can just sit and read. Since I need to take a break from actual work, I can do this. On reading, I am back to physical books. I recently bought two – Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Yourself and Morgal Housel’s Psychology of Money. Both are in the self-help category and I think that’s what I need right now. Let’s see if I can finish reading those today (at the speed at which I read, I think I can). Let’s see how this goes.

c, I can go for a super-long walk. You know a 20K-step walk and plugin to some podcast or something. In the past, I have wanted to walk all the way from Andheri to Siddhi Vinayak. I think I did manage it once (see next para). Though I can’t recall with surety. May be I will do it again today.

I don’t know which one would I choose. But I do know that I will go to Starbucks in a bit and get done with a work call that ends at 12. See I can never not work 😀

Wait.
Here’s a thing.
I just realized that I suck at remembering these teeny weeny things.
Which is ok. I just need to ensure that I note those things. For example, thanks to my Roam, I discovered that I walked on the 24th of Sep 2020. And I have also listed things that I thought of when I walked. Wow! I am impressed in myself ;P

Ok. Enough. The words are clearly not coming out. Time to take a break, shower, and go to Starbucks.

See you guys tomorrow.

And as I end this, here’s my streak list.

  • Morning Pages – 98
  • #aPicADay – 79
  • 10K steps a day – 0. Could only manage 7K
  • OMAD – 2
  • #noCoffee – 10
  • #noCoke – 10
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0

050321 – Morning Pages

A quick rant on how I was made to feel at a meeting yesterday.

5:30. AM.
I am up! And on it. Listening to Khawabon Key Parinde. I’ve always been a king of wishful thinking. I’ve even written about it on my blog once. Here.

So, today I get to meet one of my newer clients. I have been working for him since Oct last year and everytime I have spoken to him, I have left the (zoom) room inspired. This is my first IRL meeting with him. Lets see how it goes.

Yesterday was a mixed bag. Largely, took it easy. I had a few calls and I was a silent observer at most of those places. I don’t like to play a passive role but I think it’s ok to not want to run the show all the time. I think my fly as high as the Icarus needs taming and these meetings are sobering me up. Just that I don’t like when I am interrupted and cut in the middle by people. Or when I am taken for granted. Or when I am shrugged like a flunky in the white shirt. I remember I wrote about this 10 years ago and I am yet to get over it. This is not my ego per se. This is more about being treated as an equal human. That sucks. Someone told me a few days back that you rather work with someone that respects you than someone who pays you a lot. But then that’s naukri. If you want to win the world and become like Elon, Jeff, and others, you need to do what Guru Bhai tells us!

Anyhow. Moving on.

I was with someone else yesterday when they reminded me that I am a published author. Lol. Must move my ass and write more. The battle between making ends meet and chasing the dreams is a neverending one. Days like this I wish I had picked a comfortable job that would have given me the weekends to do whatever I wanted to. Or I had a rich father. Or a rich wife. Anyone wants to adopt? Or marry me? You need to have 10 odd crores to giveaway to me. Or maybe I can put my head down and write. Lol!

So that.

I guess that’s about it. Short post but at least poured out what gave me a sleepless night. Over and out.

PS: Funny that I am 38, I am triggered and affected by these trangressions of people that I work with. And this is when I want to change the world and impact a billion lives and make a billion dollars and all that. Sigh. At my age, people are making the world go around and I am cribbing about such tiny things. Damn, Mr. Garg!

020321 – Morning Pages

A quick post about how I dont have to write a post 😀

8:29. This is not the first thing am doing today. Work has picked up (yay!) and that means that time is at a premium now. And I have decided to push the limits and do podcasts and films and books and work!

I woke up at 6ish and went straight to my computer. And belted out a few emails, proposals, and other generic things. Then I had a longish chat with my sis. Then I bought a toothbrush, well, you know why. And then I had another work call. And another work call. And one more. Sigh. Will probably have to get up earlier.

I knew I had to talk about something but I can’t seem to pinpoint it.

I think one was that I am for some reason, ok to work from this home in Goa. Sir got Internet installed and now I don’t have to run helter-skelter. The latency and reliability are still an issue but I have internet. The other reason I think is that the place is spacious. Or maybe because this is in a quiet part of the most populous beach in India!

The other thing is that I am still on the fence about being in Mumbai or Goa. Truth be told, I am leaning more and more towards Mumbai. Simple reason is that I need to be in the middle of an ecosystem. Mumbai allows me that for sure.

What else? I cant think of anything. I think these pages are great braindumps only if you work on these in the morning.

Guess, will wrap this here and jump into the day. Over and out.

PS: I know this doesn’t amount to much. I am just glad that even if I get 300 words, I am able to write and publish. I want to keep this streak going for as long.

270221 – Morning Pages

Ladies and gents, there is no morning pages today. Managing an event and thus no time to write in the morning. If I get time during the day, I will edit the post. I know this does not count as a morning page but I wanted to keep the streak going.

I really wanted to talk about rejection. I got two of those this week. Both from the world of filmmaking. So that.

That’s it. Nothing more. I know this doesn’t count as a morning pages post but for whatever it’s worth, this is it.

PS: Wrote this on the phone on 27th and published on 28th.

140221 – Morning Pages

Nothing important on this one. Just a random piece of text from, well, a Starbucks!

9:36 AM

I am writing this from a Starbucks and I am telling you that there is no better feeling than this being able to walk-in to a store, sit on a comfortable chair, hike the laptop on a table that’s just at the right height, and a connection that works! It’s magic. Actually, it’s not magic. It’s more hygiene than anything else but when you live (or want to live) in Goa, these things look like magic!

So, morning pages.

Yesterday was interesting. I was like a vegetable and thugged it out. I binged on Brooklyn 911 and fuck it’s amazing. Exactly the kind of humor I want to have. I also saw Pride and Prejudice in parts. Fuck it’s been done so well that I actually pined for the freedom and opportunities to create things like that! Ok, too many fucks in one sentence.

The thug-life did not end at the binge. I actually went out with a few friends for dinner and drinks. No, I don’t drink. Yes, I ate like a mad man. The place where we were at, there were so many people that probably would put pre-covid parties to shame. The other shameful thing I observed was that kids as young as 16 (they looked like 16 or younger) were smoking, abusing alcohol, and living their hedonistic life. Yeah yeah, I sound like their father or that disgruntled uncle that you can’t seem to ever please.

In fact, in the spirit of living in public, here’s a confession. I am one of those that is never satisfied. I want to be divinely discontent but I think am devilishly discontent. What this does is that it leaves me asking everyone around me to push themselves to do more. And I often border on being pushy. And that means I am often not so kind when I talk to people. You know that question that Indian parents ask when you score 98%? Am that! So yeah. That. Why do I bring this up? I don’t know. It just came up when I wrote about kids indulging. I don’t understand how people do not work and while time like that. Vegetative-ness is not for me.

So that. The house still remains in mess. To a point that I dont even want to start cleaning it. But then, me being me, I did start with it. At least the bedroom. The problem with the rest of the house is that there’s no space to even walk. Yeah. Mumbai houses. And the boxes that contain all my life’s things. Imagine. Life reduced to a few boxes and eventually an urn of ash. And not even that if you decide to walk into the forest (the way I want to go, when I go). Fuck reminds me of Carl Sagan. Do see this.

Do that.

Oh, I have been sending some “writing tips” to a people on Whatsapp. I am not sure they work for people but I really enjoy writing those. In case you want in, you can join this admin-only group.

Guess that’s about it. I know I have more to say. I know I should say more. I know there is more to morning pages than a quick journal. I know I know a lot. I know I dont know even more than what I know. I know am merely indulging now and have stopped making sense a long time ago. I know. I know.

Over and out.

110221 – Morning Pages

A quick post on talking about the fact that I am back in Mumbai! Yay! Even though I would go back in about 10 days.

8:11. I have 19 minutes to do this.

Today’s one of those days where I cant even die. AA would laugh at this but it’s true. So, the things am thinking about are…

I am in Mumbai as I write this. At least till the 19th.

I am here after exactly three months (went to Delhi for Diwali on 10th Nov and then Goa on 6th Dec). When I reached home, a rude shock awaited. The house was in a mess. There were inches of dust, dead bodies of cockroaches, moss on the furniture, the stale smell in the almirahs, and whatnot. If you know me, I want things to be perfect af and I am anal about cleanliness. I was fucked in the head. But then I was too tired from the damn train journey and I slept. Fuck I am at that place in life where bodily comforts are more important than mental stimulation. Old age, boys and girls, sucks!

Lemme talk about the train. Yesterday I said that I will see if I could work from train. I am happy to report that the experiment failed gloriously. I couldn’t get a single thing done. The train journey is way too uncomfortable and obtrusive. The guy sitting next to me could not stop peeping into my laptop, my phone, my shirt, and I don’t know what else.

And that means that I have this BIG pile of things that I should’ve done yesteryday. And thus this rush to get over with these morning pages before 8:30.

So, the good thing is that I am writing from a Starbucks. Love that the store is clean, AC is perfect, cheap jazz is playing. And I just got myself a coffee. After a few days. I wish Goa offered such predictability. But guess that’s the charm of living in Goa and that’s what makes life fun. But the point is, at a Starbucks, I come into the rhythm, the zone as fast as, well, a train.

Anyhow, there’s more but there’s no time. This tweet by Anusha summarised my life so perfectly.

Let’s see if I can find more time during the day to write more. Till then, over and out. And its 8:29! Fuck so cool!

PS: This is not really the morning pages that Julia talks about but I had to keep the streak going.

The Coffee Consumption Confession

I talk about what exactly I love about a Starbucks Coffee store near me. And why I had coffee today after almost a month.

For someone who’s a big Starbucks fan and spends almost 5 hours every day and 4000 bucks a week there, I have a confession to make.

I don’t really love coffee as much. To me, any roast, any bean, any method of making coffee is the same, as long as there’s no milk in it. I HATE milk!

I think marketing team at Starbucks understands people like me. At Starbucks, they keep tinkering with the fabled Starbucks menu, they can’t seem to get my attention. I always want that regular Earl Gray Tea (at least for the last few weeks). They even tried the gimmick of reducing the price of Starbucks Coffee, I remain non-committal. I simply can’t love what they brew!

What I rather love is their ambiance, the comfortable seating, the jazz (that people world over love to hate), and the general sense of ease and familiarity and niceness all around. I know a large part of it is faux but at least for the time you are there, the duration you are hanging out, it’s cool. You feel you belong to that place.

Plus, most times, the patrons hanging out at an outlet tend to be the same. You start knowing them by their faces, even if you don’t know their names. They tend to sit at the same spots. You start knowing those spots and the paraphernalia that they would use to claim the spot. Like at this Starbucks near me, this girl comes in at around 11 and she likes to first take out some 10 books, place them all over the table and then, start her work. This another girl, all she cares for is a charging point and whatever she’s lost into, in her phone. This young couple always takes that corner seat and are oblivious to the world outside. To a people-watcher like me, a Starbucks is a gold mine. At some point, I need to also get comfortable being a Sherlock and start making deductions 😀

Anyhow. The point of this post?

Well, two points.

a, I had to write for 30 minutes.

b, Today, I had coffee.

Yes I did!

After may be a month or so. And no it was not from Starbucks. But from some random place. And no, I did not have a reason per se. Just that I was meeting a friend after really long and I have this really strong association of coffee and her. And breaking the coffee consumption chain while I was with her felt like a great way to reinforce the association.

No?

Part of 30 days, 30 minutes, 30 posts project. Others in the series are at 3010, 3110, 0111, 0211, 0311, 0411, 0511, 0611, 0911, 1011, 1211.