021121 – Morning Pages

Morning Pages on Nov the 2nd, the birthday of Shahrukh Khan.


Today is Shahrukh Khan’s birthday. I am not sure of his acting or whatever but I know that he’s the guy that comes to my head when I think of love stories coming to life. When I think of hard work leading to success. When I think of the conduct of an individual inspiring generations to come. When I think of possibilities. When I think of ambition. When I think of how life ought to be.

And I think of him everytime I have to ask a girl out. Everytime I have a heartbreak. Everytime I need to think of a sad song. Everytime I meet someone called Kiran. Everytime I even spread my arms.

And it’s just not me. It is probably everyone in my generation. And the one after me. And the one after me. That, ladies and gents, is SRK for me. On his birthday, all I can say is, thank you, Shahrukh Khan. I am a tad better because of you.

Ok. Coming onto morning pages, the real one. Here’s a recap of the day. Yesterday was mostly ok. Did a lot of work, pitched for new work, sent some invoices for work done in the last few months, created opportunities for some people, spoke to a friend who’s getting married, met another one for dinner. In all, had a good time. Today will be a tad stressful. I am hoping I can find a way out but let’s see.

So this is about it for the day. And here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :). Was ok yesterday. I think I have been able to make peace with how things are around me.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. Even with so many things around me to juggle, I am able to manage my time in a way that I want to.
    2. I love the tastelessness of water! I love to sip on it. And I am grateful that I can have enough and more of it.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Like I said, I have way too many things to juggle today. Some of those are overlapping. And the ones that are overlapping are the kinds that need urgent attention and are demanding. If I can manage those well, I would be ok.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I am able to manage all the stress without affecting the moods of people around me. I am good like that.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. PS is back at work after her break. She’s one of those people that I wished I had met earlier in life. Everytime I speak to her, I find someone who I can trust, someone I know will have my back, someone I’d like to work with for the rest of my life.
    2. Met a prospective client. I loved talking to him. As always, I realised that I love it when I am talking to new people. I feed off the energy of others. Need to make a structured thing around it!
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. As always, if I could eat less, it would have been nice. I almost did not eat till about 1 and then I threw my hat in the ring.
    2. At work, I was rude to a colleague. I shouldn’t have been. I apologised but I need to control these bursts.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Two people are always right. The one that says he can. And the one that says he can’t”

Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 26
  • Money spent –
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 26
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 26

150721 – Morning Pages

I talk about rants, house hunting, SRK, music, work and more.

6:20. Woke up a few minutes ago. Woke up with a nightmare. I mean a nightmare of sorts. On a regular day, it would have affected me a lot and would have made me a man possessed. But for some reason, I am still as water and calm as fire. Also, as I woke up, I am less groggy than I would typically be. I dont know why or how. I again ate multiple meals. And that too full of carbs and oils. I still have a lot on my head with respect to work. There’s so much that I don’t know what to do about! Grrr! I even ranted on Twitter. Here. That’s another thing. I am ranting a lot on Twitter now. My engagement there is shit. I need to grow it to be able to get opportunities to come to me. But I am unable to 🙁


So, just a month to go for EBC. Need to inform everyone about it. Everyone means people that I work with. Need to make arrangements. Need to wrap the house. Give away whatever is left here. Send whatever needs to be stored to Delhi. Limit my life to as few things as I can (preferably 20 – a number that looks highly improbable). Need to give notice to the landlord so that I can vacate peacefully.

As of now, I am thinking I will move to Delhi by September (assuming there’s no third wave by then) and then stay back till Diwali (mid-November). And come back post that. And look for a new house. This time I am sure I want to live on a higher floor at a fancy society. Enough of kachra living. Or maybe go to Goa. There’s hardly anything that I have left in Mumbai that I look forward to.

Just that I am not sure if I can work from Delhi but let’s see. All this is wishful thinking. We Will see if this pans out.

So on music, today it’s the SRK fest. Mitwa. Pretty Woman. Yeh Dil. Dildara. And a Farhan Akhtar song (Sindbad the Sailor). I know, I know. These guys are mere actors and the credit must go to the lyricists and composers and musicians and all that. Please do excuse me for that.

I dont know what else to write. That’s all that’s on the top of my head.

Ok, lemme try. What did I learn yesterday? Few things…

  1. I am not great at managing time.
    Even with all the fancy tools that I have access to.
  2. I am not disciplined.
    In the sense that I know that to lose weight, I need to do a lot of things consistently for a long time (eat better, eat clean, work out etc etc). I do that as and when I get time. Rather I could be making time for those! I can make small sacrifices (giving up Coke, writing everyday) but I cant seem to workout consistently. Dunno why.
  3. I like giving gyaan to people that can potentially help them.
    I was talking to a stranger and talking about how notes and calendars could get her to do her things better. And it was brilliant! I mean I think I did show her the way but the validation I got for myself was fascinating!
  4. I continue to be that person that doesnt want to disappoint others.
    In fact, I seek validation and all that. Not just from people I care about. But even from strangers on the internet. I wish I could become a different person 🙁


These are personal lessons. Why would someone want to read these? Rather, need to figure out lessons that are useful for others. And then post those. You know, things like, wake up early and you’d be awesome. Lol. These are random conjectures that may or may not carry any weight.

But then, these morning pages lose meaning. To a point that I write these for myself. Not for others to read. So it’s cool that these lessons are for me and for no one else.

Anyhow. To close this short post, couple of things that I am taking away from this brain dump. These are…

A. I need to get disciplined. Starting today I will be. At least with food if not with workouts. I will stop eating from outside for as long as I can manage. I will get a home cook to make simple meals for me. You know, less oil, fewer spices, better ingredients, etc. At eat just one time in the day.
Lol! This starting today has lost meaning. I dont know how many times have I said this 😀

B. Will stop thinking about how much work I have on my plate. I would rather do things. I will no longer talk about the unavailability of office space. Or a Starbucks. I will make do with whatever I have and get work done. Enough of fucking slacking and throwing reasons around.

Guess this is it for the day.
Hope you have a great day as well.
Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 126
  • #noCoffee – 15
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 216