050721 – Morning Pages

Made a tiny change in how I write my morning pages. I am not sure if the output is better but I think I am more at peace. Read on.

8:15 AM. There’s been a change in programming. I woke up at 7. Got ready. Read for a few minutes. I am reading the book on sleep. Thanks, VK. And then I came to a Starbucks and chit-chatted with the staff here. And then got me a Green Tea (see pic here on my alt Insta account). And then I fired up the editor to write the morning pages. And here we are!

So, last evening I had this epiphany, this revelation that I just can not work from a non-office, non-coffee shop place. I mean I knew this for a while now but it got reinforced yesterday as I was struggling to find a good place to work. I even shuttled between houses of friends but to no avail. So here I am. With a big decision. That I will restrict all my work activities to the hours that these establishments open. Which as of today is between 8 AM and 4 PM. Outside of these hours is when I would do all my calls and all that. Let’s see if I can c convince my clients. Oh, and should there be another lockdown, will see what to do about it.

Apart from that for some reason, I am very very calm about all the general fuckery I have experienced in life lately. I mean life’s good. As good as it could be. I am still unhappy, discontent, aching for action and all that. I don’t know how I will find a solution or an answer but I know that as of right now, at 8:38 AM at a Starbucks, I am at peace. The kinds I’ve not felt in a long time. I don’t know what has caused this but must do more of this.

Wait. Maybe it’s the ice cream I ate last night?
Yeah, I did. I was stressed when I was fussing about my inability to work and get things done on time. I even snacked on chips and all that. If I had eaten these things in the eating window, I would’ve been ok. But I ate all these things outside of that. And thus I broke the 4-day OMAD streak. And I did not go for a walk. Or did yoga. The balls still hurt. Two days after I tried to jog 🙁

Wait. I am ok. Let me not cry about it.
Right now, I am in the God Mode and nothing can touch me!

Fuck! God Mode!
Damn, I miss the Q3A days with kAgE where each time I fragged him in a Q3DM6, I would get ecstatic and jump around in joy! In a typical 15-min tourney, I was like an easy bot for him. He could kill me at a whim. He could remember the clock like a robot and knew exactly when Mega Health or the Red Armour would come in. And no, he did not use scripts. He was good. It’s a pity he couldn’t make a career out of competitive gaming.

I miss those simpler days when all we had to worry about was a ping of less than 200. On lucky days we would get a ping of less than 100. We even got the same Internet service provider so that we could be on an extended LAN and play the game more often. Damn those days!

Ok, enough of reminiscencing. Time to move on and get some work done. I only have till about 4 PM today. Actually, not even 4 to be honest. I would be bored of sitting at this place by 1. Or 2. And then I would want to go back, eat something and probably while the time away and crib about how I can’t work from a house. Lol! damn this vicious cycle.

Chalo, time to start working. Here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0. Was stressed about work and thus ate a lot. Even sugar-laden ice-cream.
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 116
  • #noCoffee – 5
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 206

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