120221 – Morning Pages

Large part of what I wrote today is a rant. You may want to skip reading this. Nothing interesting or insightful here 🙁


I am at the Starbucks where I wrote #tnks from. Powai one. I have some really incredible memories of this place. In fact, I love Powai better than all of Mumbai. I wish I would live here. If I do choose to move to Goa, I will probably find a few friends in various parts of Mumbai and make a shacking arrangement with them. This is very unlike me where I have wanted my privacy and my room and my comfort. But then, desperate times call for desperate measures. What to do.

Ok. Morning pages for the day. Like yesterday, I am rushed af. There is like a million things that I need to do. I have never been this rushed in life. I mean I am sure I would have been but I feel the pressure. The sad part is that all this pressure is neither giving me enough to make my ends meet nor creating a brand for me that I can leverage in the future. I often think that I should’ve taken the easy way out of Naukri and by this time I would be making a pot of money and would have had a comfortable house and a fancy car and those two foreign holidays. And no, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s a very comfortable position to be in. What if you need to manage random politics? What if you are loaning the best years of life to help others realize their dreams? Won’t it be better from wake-shit-shower-work-work–work-work–work-work–work-work–work-work-eat-quickily-work-work-tindering-aimlessly-hoping-for-matches-sleep cycle that never seems to end? Ok rant ho gaya.

Moving on.

So Mumbai. Day 2. After almost 3.5 months. There are quite a few thoughts in my head that I want to pour on paper here but I don’t know where to start.

Do I like being in Mumbai?
I don’t know yet. But I like that Internet works. Things are easily accessible. Internet works. I mean the Internet at a random Starbucks in Mumbai works better than the co-working space in Goa that has the best internet!

Do I miss Goa?
Hell yes. I do.

Will I choose Mumbai over Goa?
I don’t know yet. I am undecided. Like VK said, I need to chase money. I’d go wherever money takes me. So that.

Chalo, lemme take a random track altogether. I’ve been asking people on Twitter for music that I could listen to. Vijesh (someone that I’d NEVER EVER ignore) recommend that I listen to Osho Jain. The dude’s called Osho! So I decided I would check him. Cut to the Mumbai house. Around the new year, I had participated in a couple of Secret Santas and there were a couple of books waiting for me. I opened those today in the morning. One of the books in there was by the Osho. Too many Osho’s in life happening too fast. I don’t know what to make of it. But what I do know is that Osho Jain’s music sounds like the kinds I would want to listen to! I love it! Here’s some

So that.

What else.

Ok. The house is in a mess. And I don’t even have the time to clean it. Since I have not really lived there, I don’t even have a house-help that I could rely on for all the chores. And I need to find one pronto. I hate hate hate hate mess. I should’ve probably called ahead and got it cleaned but I am yet to unpack all the boxes that my stuff is wrapped in since I moved. I thought I would spend a couple of days cleaning things but I am not sure that I have the time to do so. I am on a clock you know (need to back in Goa by 20th max).

Guess this is it for the day. Too much on my head. To a point that I was tired exasperated last night.

I was so fucked that for a change, I felt the need to have someone around me. Guess old age is catching up. Need to become more stable, more stoic, more detached, more atamnirbhar.

Come on, Mr. Garg!

No, no #book2 today either. I am slacking like a bitch. Sorry, Krishna.

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