140521 – Meditations

A talk with self on what I ought to be doing over the next few days.

6:10
I woke up with a bit of stomachache. I think it’s all the food from outside that I am eating. So here’s a pledge. I will not eat anything that’s not been cooked for me specifically. And if I am forced to eat something else, I will have fruits or raw veggies than cooked food. And today, I will attempt a 48-hour fast. The ambition is to do a 7-day fast but I know I may not be able to. So, will start with a 2-day one. I’ll also try NOBNOM from today on. I mean I anyway don’t consume a lot of alcohol. And I will refrain from coffee. I often walk to a Starbucks (or a Blue Tokai) and get myself coffee as a reward. I may still do it. Walk around. But rather than the Starbucks as a destination, I will try for a park or a beach or something. And in case I feel the need to reward myself, I will get an iced tea.

Thing is, I don’t like when I am unwell. I like the idea of being active. I like the idea of moving around physically. I remember as a kid, in school, I would run along the corridor even if I had the time to walk. I would hang around from the pillars around the school even if there was not a need. I loved the idea of chasing balls on big grounds. I think in each thing I did, the larger agenda has been a goal that I was gunning for. And that has stayed. I am such a goal, task, external validation, tick-box chasing whore that I can’t just do things that have no measurable, competitive output.

I thnk I need to use this as a thing to inspire me!

Anyhow.

So, I removed Twitter and Instagram from the phone. I was wasting too much time on those tools. While it was good to connect with people and learn and even offer some help, I think it starting affecting how I felt about life and the world in general. So, have removed. I will still access them via a browser – these are the places that I literally connect with people. If not for these strangers luring on these social networks. I would be very very ineffective.

Not sure what else to write. Way too much in my head. So much that I dont know what to write.

Wait. Streaks.

So, on a day-to-day basis, I track some 11 things. For most of those, apart from this post, the number remains 0. I mean I don’t do those things. I was thinking do I remove these. I mean what’s the point of putting all these zeros when I don’t do. But then, a thought popped up in my head. Why not continue. At least I spend a tiny second on each line and that in itself is a reminder that I need to do that thing. No?

Yeah! Makes sense.

So, here’s streaks and some commentary…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 152
  • #aPicADay – 0. I am not sure if I want to start. While it allowed me to look at things from a different lens, since I have been holed into a tiny space, not sure what I’d do with it.
  • 10K steps a day – 0. I have literally stopped walking around. Need to re-start. Along with fast, I think this is what could help me feel better.
  • OMAD – 0. Let’s see if I manage a 2-day fast. I may actually get a tick on this one.
  • #noCoffee – 0. Will start again from today. I mean I did not have one yesterday, come to think of it!
  • #noCoke – 64. Super proud. More than 2 months now!
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0. Will start again today. My first work call is at 9. If I manage things faster, I will do this.
  • #book2 – 0. Lol. I don’t think I have this in me. Will probably delete.
  • Killer Boogie – 0. Again, don’t think I am doing this. Will probably delete.
  • Original Work (limited time only) – 0. The deadline for this is 17th May. So, this will be gone in a few days.
  • Surya Namaskar – 0. Again, need to get started. Today may not be a good day but will start soon.

So yeah that. I think I am subconsciously trying to reset life. You know, discard things, relationships, habits, and all that. Oh, that reminds me, I need to discard things that I don’t use or need. Will make an inventory and put them out for sale and donate the proceeds to some gurudwara. I anyway had little attachment to material things, when I lost data on the phone, whatever emotions I had left with digital data – notes, photos, emails, contacts, things that I had parked to be used in the future, all of it is gone!

Need to live a far lighter and simpler and minimal life. Need to step in that direction. Let’s see where I head. Will keep posting here.

Over and out!

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