250421 – Morning Meditations

A longish conversation with self on things that I need to more of if I want to reach where I want to.

6:56. Woke up a few minutes ago. The minds blank. Lemme fill in some words and see the direction this narrative takes. Yesterday was a long long day. I did not get time to even see the watch till about 2. And no, I could not do the Surya Namaskars. Neither could I do meditation. No, I did not write on the Roshan story. I did manage 10K steps though. So that’s the only win I have.

The other thing that I have to log is that even though I have been eating clean for more than two weeks now (except that lone mousse that I eat every day, I have not eaten anything from outside), I feel bloated all the time. I think it’s all the soda that I drink. Need to stop for a week and see how I feel.

So that.

Mind’s still blank. Lemme pour more. A million things are open at my end. Both at work and at passion projects. And at things that are important for me. Funnily, I am not slacking. I am actually at it. I am not wasting my time with random content. I am not immersed in reading that much that I lose time. I am no longer active on Twitter. Neither am I just staring at the ceiling! I am just procrastinating on random things for no reason. I have never been this. I mean I say no if I don’t want to work on things but I don’t procrastinate. Plus, the time has never been this important. Each minute is accounted for. Plus there’s no travel anyway. So, I don’t know where the time’s going. I even tried tracking it on all the million sheets I maintain. I know that I did “time pass” but I don’t know where the other time’s going. Even this weekend came and went away in a blink!

I think these are the reasons.

a/ I am part of way too many meetings.
What this does is that I get the illusion of working but no real work happens. I don’t create anything. I don’t get my name out. I don’t build my brand. I don’t plant seeds. Which is ok for most people. But not for me. I have this need to be out there. I need to attract opportunities. I need to do a lot more. And a lot more will happen when I ship things.

So may be, Monday onward, I will reduce the meetings I am a part of. I will rely on emails wherever possible.

b/ I work on way too many things.
Which I have made peace with. What I don’t do and should do is, not switch tasks often. Look at this post for example. I started on this at 6:56. It’s 8:02. In this hour, I have worked on this post, tweaked the Wordpres theme on one of the passion projects that I want to work on, checked email, reviewed a client presentation, researched the meaning of Kun Faya Kun (the right way to refer to it is Kun Fayakun – if you are curious, read this), played a game of chess (I won!), thought about how I ought to create and not waste time, filled 5 liters of water in some 8 water bottles (reused bottles of soda, water, etc) around my house.

Even within this post, I have gone back and forth between various sections. Which I think is ok. That’s my style. Most other writers will probably start with a list of things they want to cover and then they would fill in those. I do the same for work related writing. This is a freeflow text. So that.

The point is, I shuttle between way too many things too many times. I need to engage in one thing at a time. I can’t stop multitasking. The tweak I can add is the one around serialtasking (#note2self – must write an SoG on serialtasking). In its purest form, Cal Newport calls this Deep Work.

c/ I am not a doer per se. I am more of a manager.
I need people to do things for me. Most work I get paid for, I am an individual contributor. Most passion projects, I am the sole worker. I do have someone that helps me but I need to find a replacement. I am unable to do so.

I know that I can think of a million things but I need others to do those. In a typical corporate structure, this is possible. Easy to find resources that help you. Easy to delegate. Easy to take feedback and inputs. In the structure I run (everyone owns, runs, manages things), it is difficult. Different people have different levels of motivation. They have different outlooks on life than I. They need more security. They need more structure. I am ok with ambiguity. I like the idea of chasing the unknown. I like taking things from 0 to 1 (thinking of possibilities etc). I need people that can take things from 1 to 100.

So that.

So action points are…

  1. Find a great team. Now that I can pay a bit. The challenge would be to compete with the insane amount of money that these new-age startups are throwing at young people.
  2. Stop attending meetings. Start using that time to do things. Implement maker-manager.
  3. Stop switching. In one line, stop multitasking. Lol.

The next thing I need to think about is my website. I need to create content that attracts the right kind of people and opportunities. What are these? Here we go…

It’s clear to me that I cant do one thing. I will always be on hundred projects at the same time. If I were to draw a structure, I think a pyramid would look like this…

  1. Top – Enable others, make them successful and participate in the wealth they create.
  2. Layer 1 – These people, these others must come from three disciplines that I want to create impact at – startups, films, education. I have made progress with films. And in some way with startups. I will get onto education at some point in time in life.
  3. Next layer – Get better at these disciplines by talking to more people, attracting more opportunities, doing more, showing the proof of work, delivering impact, becoming an “expert” etc.
  4. Next layer – As an individual, do things I like – writing, photography, talking to people, travel, clean my desk, drink water etc etc. With people I like – strangers, friends, coworkers, family.
  5. The base layer – Become atamnirbhar. AKA financially independent fast. By making money from things like brand consulting, marketing, content, events, etc.

I guess that sums my approach to life well. Sounds very similar to Elon’s masterplan. Wait. Even I wrote a masterplan a few years ago when I was starting C4E.

Lemme reproduce those slides here…

Wrote this sometime in 2016 or 2017. The idea was to create money, use that money to create more people that make more money. And use that money to scale things further. Till I reach a billion people.

And, in terms of tangible actions, I wanted to do the following…

This is how I would expand into other things.

Lemme know if you want access to the entire deck.

Needless to say, I am far far away from these. I did make early moves but I have proven to be a disappointment to myself. But, the thing is, I have not given up on myself. I will never do so.

Wait. I was talking about my website. How did I land on to this self-pity piece?

The point is, I need to work on my website that gets me connected to more opportunities.

Ok. Next?

Nothing is next. It’s 8:45 and I need to get going with the day. Before that, must log that these days, Kun Faya Kun is my default music for each morning as I wake up. This version. And when I sleep. At that time, I listen to this version. I also must log that I hate this block-structure that WordPress has. It’s not friendly for writers at all. To developers, it may be.

With that, over and out.

Here’s the streaks. Also logged here.

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 133
  • #aPicADay – 114
  • 10K steps a day – 1. Did 11K.
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 46
  • #noCoke – 46
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0. Did not do yesterday and broke a 10-day streak.
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Original Work (limited time only) – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

And no, nothing on Roshan today either. Dal Roti comes first.

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