220221 – Morning Pages

Nothing special to report today either. I am just glad that I am able to keep the streak of these morning pages going.

7:25. My writing table.

I just woke up. I slept very fitfully. Like most days.

The house remains a mess. I am even washing my clothes. Sigh. Of course, I am ok doing my own work but the only reason I don’t want to do it cos I feel it’s a waste of time. This is probably why people have washing machines and all that. Right now, I don’t even have the patience or the mindspace or the time to get someone else to help me! I think I have bit into more than I can chew. I mean I did not agree to this much work when I picked these projects. But theek hai. I need it.

So, I spent some 18 hours at a local Starbucks and I would have spent some 5000 bucks there. Thousand. Not Hundred. Yeah, I am like that. Pennywise and pound- foolish. I need to make clear that I don’t spend money on Coffee. I pay a per-day fee to sit at a comfortable, air-conditioned, well-lit, fast Internet connection. I consider Starbucks as my office / work expense. I had so much coffee yesterday (I can count 5 Grande Americanos that I had yesterday. And 2 of these were double shots) that I am surprised that I even got sleep. Oh, I slept ok. Fitfully but ok. I mean that’s how I get most of my sleep. Coffee or no coffee.

The other thing is that it’s now certified that I can NOT work from home. Yesterday, I came back home for a bit because I wanted a change in scenery. But as soon as I reached here, I jumped on the bed and slept. Sigh. I am jealous of people that can stay indoors. Of course, there are talks of imposing a lockdown all over again in Mumbai and if that happens, I would be devastated. I can NOT survive indoors.

Oh, I have to talk about how Starbucks sparked another serendipitous incident. I was hanging out there and I spotted this person that gave me the first-ever opportunity as a TV writer. No, it did not reach anywhere. The show never saw the light of the day. This was some 5-6 years ago. #tnks had just come out. I used to live at Nahar. I think I got connected to him via someone on Twitter (I will dig it out). It’s amazing things that can happen when you live at hubs. Yeah yeah, I am merely trying to find things that rationalize my thinking. You know, we are pattern-seeking and pattern-matching, rationalizing (and not rational) creatures! #note2self

While editing this piece, I realized that I missed the highlight of yesterday. I was seeing something on Youtube when I stumbled on this video where Vikramaditya Motwane and the team talk about how they made this track for Lootera. I don’t know what state of mind I was in, but I saw Vikram Sir and the team talk about it and I cried. Like an actual tear came outta my eyes. I even wrote an email to him. I hope he sees it!

The medium of films is so so powerful that I am surprised I am doing nothing about it. And I am spending wasting my time making PowerPoint presentations in exchange for peanuts. See this tweet

I know I know. I don’t have the talent to make films. I know I don’t have the money to say no to PowerPoint. But there has to a way out na? Guess that’s why creative people in the old times had patrons that allowed them to chase their dreams. Come on, universe! Do something!

So what else?

I guess nothing.

Days are moving so so fast that it’s not funny. Each morning seems to blend into the evening and then night and then back to the grind. This busy-ness is great but I need to find a way out so that I can do bigger, larger, grander things.

Sigh.

That’s about it for the day. Have quite a things to work on. No, nothing on #book2. :((

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