[RANT] 020821 – Morning Pages

A ranty post on the first-world problems that I am afflicted with.

5:20. Woke up a few minutes ago. Yesterday I slept at some 8:30 or something. I wasn’t feeling too well. I was on a podcast and then on a call and I could barely keep my eyes open. People on the other side could see that I was unwell. Through a Zoom window. Sigh. I think I was probably gassed, bloated, sleep-deprived, and tired.

So, what happened was this – a friend and I decided that we would go for a long walk on Sunday. For that, I had to be out of my house at 6. And that meant I had to wake up at 5. And that meant I had to sleep by 10. But I slept at 1 or something. I had some work to be done. So I was sleep-deprived. Plus right after the not-so-strenuous walk, I ate from Pancham Puri (the best damn place to eat kachra that gives pleasure to your senses). The very mention of it is making me salivate! The food we ate was so well “oiled” that I could see a thick layer of oil floating over the gravy. And then I ate some more crap from random places. And as a result, I was full. And despite that, I kept loading myself with chocolates and water and I dont know what all. And thus I was pukish. And it showed. Not just to me. But to others.

In fact, this seems to be a trend. Since I started walking. Once I am done with my walks, I sort of eat far more than what I am supposed to. And as a result, these walks are probably doing more harm than good. So, need to control these. And fix things. From today on, come hell or high water, if I can’t eat food made at a home, I will not eat. Enough of ordering from out.

I also need to stop ignoring that all this walking around is probably taking its toll on me. You know, it’s making me tired and sore (without any massage or stretching) and I need to let the body recover. Starting with sleep. Need to stop compromising on it.

So that.

In other news, the joy from life seems to have disappeared. You know, there’s not Joie de Vivre! I am not even playing chess, the thing that I had found comfort in after I realized I am friendless and loveless. In fact, I was talking to AnPa on Saturday and I realized that life seems to be going ok but there aren’t any large exciting things happening that I could live on top of. You know, there’s no dopamine hit. There’s no hedonistic treadmill that am riding on. I mean there’s nothing wrong with life per se. There’s some money coming on. Most things I work on are what I like. Side projects are going well. The friends and family column needs a little nudge but that’s ok. Or maybe that’s what I need to work on? Let’s see.

Moving on.

There’s less than 45 days to go for EBC. I am still not working out. Neither am I getting any breathing exercises done. Must start with Surya Namaskar and Push-Ups. Thing is, I am most productive in the morning, and if feel as if I have wasted my time and all that. I dont know the fix for this 🙁

Ok. Enough of rants. Lemme talk of other things that are, well, not rants.

Over the weekend, while I couldn’t do a lot of work, I did record a couple of podcasts. Each of those taught me so much and allowed me to learn so much. I am wondering why I dont do more of these. Probably the laziness? I am not sure. Must fix this!

Then, I talked to someone who’s living the life I want to live. You know, works at the intersection of writing, strategy, teaching, travel, and more. He is doing exactly what I want to do with my life. Makes money. Hold intellectually stimulating conversations. Knows people at “higher” places. He even told me about a VERY VERY famous writer on his writing style. He said the writer would spend a year or two researching his next book. And then check into a hotel for a month and crank out the manuscript of 100,000 words. I think that’s fabulous. I must do the same. Take a month out each year and take a break for a month. And come out with a book. The other lesson I took (and got reinforced) from this chat was that the world celebrates success like nothing else. Need to get there.

Then, I gave gyaan to another aspiring entrepreneur about writing and books and all that.

Ok. Enough. It’s 6:29. More than an hour since I started writing. Need to get on with the day. Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 144
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 1
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 234

PS: Starting today, I will mark all ranty posts as [RANT]. I want to see how much I crib and rant and cry.

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