September 2021 | aboutSG

160921 – Morning Pages

A not-so-post post from the day. Probably the last before I leave for a no-phone, no-internet trip.

8:30. Home. This could be the last post before I leave for my trip. And I dont know when I will pick back the baton after I am back. I dont have any deep or meaningful or insightful or “famous last words” kind of a thing to leave this text with.

Yesterday was a little weird. I did some work. I did some time pass. I had stayed the previous night at a nice hotel. I was in that space where things looked rosy. But then moment I reached home, the grind of the 2-hour travel from Gurgaon to home literally killed me. Plus as soon I was back, I had to take an RTPCR test for travel. This is my second test and like last time around, it was very uncomfortable. Blame it on my deviated septum. And then I was in this zone where I was unable to work. Yeah, I am that fragile. And then I had an argument of sorts with a colleague. That was not cool either. But guess that’s ok. Part and parcel of life.

Today is more or less gonna get spent on working. I do have to buy a few last-minute things. Will step out and get those. I also need to pack things. There’s less than a day to go for the trip. So that.

I am hoping I would be able to write tomorrow as well. Let’s see.

Oh, this feels like such an anti-climax moment – ending a 280-day streak with a dud post. But guess that’s how life is. No clear closures.

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 189
#noCoffee – 33
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 10277
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1
Morning Pages / Meditations – 279
NOFAP – 15

150921 – Morning Pages

A quick post from a hotel room about, well, hotels, people, self, friends and more.

8:30. Gurgaon. Probably my second last morning page till I leave for my trek. Yesterday was pretty interesting as well. I met a few people, including some that I had not met in a while. And then I met newish friends as well. And then I was at new places, new cafes. I think I am warming up to Gurgaon. And I suspect I would end up liking it more than Delhi. But then, lemme know get ahead of myself. There’s no place like Mumbai. Or Goa. And these urban jungles like Gurgaon are great for a few days. Living and working is a whole new ballgame.

Anyhow. So, quite a few things happened yesterday that I need to capture here. I dont have the time to get into minute details and write a longish thing but lemme capture the highlights and then maybe at a later date, will write something, if I feel like it.

A. Mutiny in TeamSG. There is this bunch of young people I mentor and I want them to become best friends with each other and together do more. They’ve been doing it together for a while now and I sort of not interfere a lot in their life etc. However, I got to know that they are not really happy and I had to intervene and get them to talk to each other and see the light.

But that’s not the point. The point is, when I was talking to them, I realized that I wanted to do EXACTLY that. Mentor kids. Help resolve their issues. Get them to be better. So yeah!

B. I stayed overnight at a fancy hotel. This is after a while that I am in a fancy hotel. In Ahmedabad, it was business, 3-star. Yesterday was an Oyo that I paid 700 for. So when I checked in last night, multiple things happened. I had to record these.

I missed Kila. And Paras. And all the events crew that I have sort of lived and worked with. Damn I miss that life where I would travel all the time and move around and get things done. I dont know if I was creating anything of tangible or sustainable value but I loved to be on the move.
It felt good that I can be at places that offer me comfort, privacy, space, luxury, convinience, respect (even if its fake). Like I said, it’s after a while. And I know most of this is a transaction, it is still a thing that I cherish.
While hotels are the most impoesonal places, I love that the fancy ones dont judge you. I can walk in with the most shitty clothes and no one would bother me. I could be in chappels (see point C below) and they would not judge me.
The showers btw are the best thing ever. If I had my way, I would spend all my time in hotel showers.
Some people love the breakfat spread. I am not that big a fan to be honest. But once in a while I like the idea of picking from whatever is around me.

C. In Gurgaon, I dont know why but fancy places have this hangup of not allowing people with chappals inside. I mean why do I need to wear shoes to go eat out with friends? Or even by myself! I think I will start a movement to blacklist places that dont allow you in when you are in chappals. #parkedIdeas

D. At another place where I was stopped for wearing chappals, I was so raged that the Delhi boy in me sort of came out rushing. I had to get access. I had to show off that I know some people that can help me get in. I had to sort of be that person that no one can stop.

E. A newish friend told me a few things that I am taking note of. Here they are…

I probably do more for people, even at the cost of my harm. I need to stop doing that. Will think and see.
When I was talking, I could see so many instances where I was sort of made a fool out of, continue to be made a fool and yet I am around. I need to probably cut those people and things out. It is hard – afterall you have invested your life and energy and time into those relationships and projects but remember, wear your seatbelt before you help others! Even Kabir said “main bhi bhookha na rahu” before he went to “sadhu”.
I need to stop being so self-obsessed. This is something that I have heard from a lot of people. Do I need to work on this.

F. The Apple event yesterday? EVERYone I know is talking about it. Everyone is raving about the ads and the presentation and the event and all that. I will probably watch it on the flight to Kathmandu. I love love love people that do things well. So that.

Guess this is about it for the day. I want to write more. But work beckons. More later. Here’s streaks.

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 188
#noCoffee – 32
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 15630
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1 (buying things for once in a life adventures)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 278
NOFAP – 14. Wow. Two weeks!

140921 – Morning Pages

An inane update from a Starbucks in Gurgaon.

9:33. Still in Gurgaon. Was up late. Not for work this time. So a tad delayed with morning pages. But as long as I write, it’s cool.

Yesterday was a whirlwind. I met a few friends that I have literally grown up with (from MDI), a client, and a newish friend. It was amazing – talked of old things, plans for life, new ideas, impacting the world, making this a better place, achieving things that have remained under the radar and yet are lurking around the surface. Met curator, founder, and owner of this fascinating place called Fig / Museo. Was so inspired to meet more people like that and create spaces like that. The thought of creating C4E Base became all the more firm.

So that. Today is a longish day. Let’s see how I manage the juggle between work that needs to be done, calls to be made, people to be met, things to be thought, dreams to be conjured. Lol. Random poetic shit.

The highlight of the day has to be the fact that I was told that what I write resonates with people. Of course, this resonation happens with very few people but it does. And that makes the effort and time worth it. If I can leave even one person inspired, I would die a happy man.

In other news, I read this long-read yesterday about a person trying to cope up with this loss after 9/11. This was one of those rare pieces that moved me almost to tears. For multiple reasons. To start with the guy is trying to find his raison d’etre. Then he feels this terrible terrible sense of loss that nothing in the world seems to compensate for. The loss is more profound because the guy thought he was responsible for those people. And at many levels, I can relate to this. I mean I am responsible for all the people that work with me. In whatever capacity, in whatever way. While I may not run a fancy organization, I do have this sense of ownership over their lives and careers. And that to me is an overwhelming responsibility. To a point that I am willing to harm myself to ensure that the people that are around me are happy, healthy, engaged, and compensated to the best of my abilities.

Sigh! So much to do, so few opportunities. Come on, universe!

That’s about it for the day. More later. If I get time. Meanwhile, here’s streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 187
#noCoffee – 31
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 6566
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1 (buying things for once in a life adventures)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 277
NOFAP – 13

130921 – Morning Pages

A note from the land of thekas and perpetual construction!

8:43. This one comes to you from a Starbucks in Gurgaon. Took me almost two hours to reach here. Had to meet a couple of people and anyway what else would I do at home. I am even hoping to stay back the night and meet more people if I can.

There is this funny feeling when I am in Gurgaon. I see these tall, swanky buildings and people dressed in their official best and making merry after their office hours at those fancy places to dine out. It’s a world that I want to belong to but I am unable to relate to. A lot of people I know can only navigate life in such worlds and would probably be lost at a place like Mumbai, where ~~I have decided to live~~ life has decided to make me call home. Actually, I can’t really call Mumbai home. There’s nothing that I look forward to. The only thing that Mumbai offers me that no other city offers me is the freedom and convenience to move around. And in a way, I want to. I mean I am almost always the worst dressed person around. And in Mumbai, it’s cool. At Gurgaon, I get stares when I walk around. Today I am dressed in my best shirt and a pair of jeans. And yet I am being stared at. Probably it’s the chappal.

Reminds me. I have less than a week now to go and I am still not wearing shoes. And to top it off, I went and bought a pair of hiking sandals for myself. My plan is to wear those as far as I can. And wear shoes only and if only I need to.

In other news, I have started to think about where life would take me from here on. For a change, I have started to get serious. In the sense, I was in the zone where I was steadfast in my decision to stay independent. Where I try to find work that gives me the freedom to move around, live anywhere, and do multiple things. But this trip to Delhi has changed a few things. For starters, I now need to up my ante as a son. My parents need me. And they need the money. With my lifestyle, money has always been a challenge. I was ok to live life as and when and I have upgraded and downgraded my lifestyle a few times already. But now, I think I need some sort of stability. More than for myself, for my folks. They have only given me. I owe them this much. Even if that means I need to put my life and my aspirations at stake. In an ideal world, I would make both things work – get something that allows me the freedom, and them the comfort that money can bring. No, I often dont talk about these things in public but well, live in public!

Ok. Moving on from somber things.

I am still undecided about working from Nepal. On one side, it would offer an opportunity to work from a new place and understand a new place. The stint in Goa was very very useful. I made a few connections and learned a lot. If I could work from Nepal for a few days, it would be very enriching. In arguments against working from Nepal, the challenge would be to find a place that allows me to make phone calls in peace and a comfortable enough bed to crash on. BTW, my definition of comfort is fairly evolved and most people I know will probably not understand it. More on this some other day.

What else? Guess this is about it. I am in that place where I know that I have a 3-week break coming up. In less than a week. And that means I can’t initiate any new projects. And there’s no time per se to even push things on exiting projects. Weird kind of place to be in, to be honest.

But I guess, as they say, this too shall pass!

And before I end this, here’s streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 186
#noCoffee – 30
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 2560
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1 (buying things for once in a life adventures)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 276
NOFAP – 12

120921 – Morning Pages

Short note on how I spent yesterday, the takeaways (my fading memory) and a rant on minimalism.

7:35. Home. Sunday. I have been up since 6:30 or so. But been doing things (primarily making lists) to ensure that once I am gone for 3 weeks, the world does not fall apart! Lol! Such magnanimity, Mr. Garg.

So today looks like a busy workday. I have a lot of things to work on before I start the next week. And then I am gone for 2-3 weeks. So that. The challenge would be to work from home – I don’t know how I would manage. Let’s see. I dont want to go to a Starbucks – too far from where I live. I hate wasting time in commuting within a city. More so after the lockdown taught me that most work meetings are essentially emails. The meetings with newer people, well, those are a different matter.

I met a few friends yesterday. And I bumped into a friend that I was not planning to meet. It was a very very fulfilling day. If I had my way, I would spend all my life doing exactly what I have been up to the last few days. Come on, Universe. I have made elaborate notes in my Roam.

Two things need to be cataloged however here. For the world to see. And for me to recall.

A. I have very faint recollections of places I have been to and people I have met. When I met NG, RM, and AG, I realized that they remembered incidents from almost all the travels they’ve been to. I, on the other hand, dont even remember the countries that we have visited together. They had to remind me that we were together in Sri Lanka. And they remembered that it was the year when Modi was getting elected (or re-elected or whatever).

B. I had momos at this restaurant that were absolutely mindblowing. Of course, I can’t remember the name of that restaurant. See point A above. Even though I had these not less than 24 hours ago. Sigh. I need to do something about my memory. May be stop taking notes ;P

So yeah. that was yesterday.

Oh, while typing this, I realized what Krishna told me. I used a lot of backspaces while I type. I need to fix that also. That means I am fast but I am not accurate at all.

Lemme run an experiment. The next para, I will type without using backspace. Let’s see what I get.

so I am typing this para without using backspace. And at my normal typing speed that I would use when I am typing things on messages, emails, powerpoints etc. Of course autocorrect is on and its fixing a lot of messages that I am mistales that I ma king, But more of less I thin this is ok. I can living with mistakes I am king for the sped that I can type and thing and type and then make sense with. As I tpe I use gramarly and I a,reaud see som 1000 red lines underneath things . Maybe there is indeed a mert in slowing dow?

Ok, that has a lot of mistakes!

The next para, I would type deliberately with the intent of making as few mistakes as possible. Let’s see how it goes.

This para, I am typing little slow with a lot f o deliveration, hoping to not making mistakes but typing slow and still not using backspace. So clearly I am making far less mistakes. I am not using backspace but I am still getting things autocrorected. So that’s helping. But since I am typing slow, I am making lesser mistakes. Except the mistakes in gramma etc. Not sure if I like this. This typing sllow os impedimenting (if there’s a work like that) my thinking speed. I ma a fat thinker that moves from one to tnnaother to another to another. So that.

I think I made as many mistakes. No?

The solution? Type fast and let mistakes happen. Lol!

So, less than a week to go for the trek. I have made most of the purchases that I had to make. Made a list here, in case you want to see. This trip is turning out to be the most expensive, unplanned trip of my life. I mean when I started 2021, I did not know I would go to Nepal. But it happened. But I am glad I am going. Everest has been a long-held dream. In fact, the other day KaGe mentioned that I had dreamt about Everest even when he and I worked together on Cyntax. Again, my memory clearly fails me there.

While I am ok with the money I spent, I am more effed about the number of things I’ve bought. For a minimalist in me, this is as cringe-inducing as it can get! And knowing myself, I would probably throw half of those things away when I come back. So, so much waste. For getting the validation in my head that I can do an arduous trek. Minimalism -1!

Plus, these are one-time purchases. These are once-in-a-lifetime adventures. You know, how weddings are. And yet I have to buy things so that nothing goes wrong. Wish I could reuse things that others have used before me. I wish I could simply rent things. But then, safety. Convenience. Insurance. Damn!

I am literally a bloated pig. I will probably fast today to try and get my body in control if I have to go thru the grind of walking 10 hours every day for the next 15 days. And with pants. And shoes.

Guess this is about it for the day. More later. See you around.

Here’s streaks.

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 185
#noCoffee – 29
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 5998
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1 (buying things for once in a life adventures)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 275
NOFAP – 11

110921 – Morning Pages

A quick post about how I spent yesterday. And what I plan to do today. Nothing of significance. Random text, to be honest.

7:18. Home. Woke up a few minutes ago. Writing this at home is a struggle. I dont have a place where I could be in unobtrusive peace. Lemme talk more. At a Starbucks, there’s chaos, there’s life, there’s movement, noise, things that you expect at a coffee shop, and whatnot. However, not one of those is directed at me. Plus I am at a little distance from most of those. So the noise and movement and activity do not bother me. They are at the best background. And that helps me get in the flow. Really does.

At home, on the other hand, A, the space is confined. No, I dont have a fancy house that can offer space to each occupant. B, most of the background is directed at me. I will leave that your imagination about what it means. And C, I dont have a place that allows me to sit and stand and move and all that while I am working. So that.

An easy solution is, if I am going to stay here for long, is to find a house / office where I can sit and work out of. I used to, some 10 years ago. With Kunal. I remember we had rented a flat for 3K or something and we would work from there. It was really cool. If nothing else, we would go there every day. It’s insane that even back then I knew (or was it KG) that I needed to separate the spaces where I worked and lived.

Oh, I did meet Kunal. Went for a walk. Wore those trekking shoes. Got sore feet and boils but these were a little less pronounced and prickly than the first time I wore shoes. So, it does get better. Plus I wore shoes from about 7 PM till 10 PM. The longest I think I’ve worn shoes in a long long time. So, achievement unlocked.

Yesterday I also met Vivek. Someone I know off Twitter. He has to be one of the sharpest people I have come to known. Plus he’s insightful and is generally a likable person. I met him for the first time and to be honest, it did not feel as if I was meeting him for the first time. I think I must get more active on Twitter and try and interact with more people. I think that’s where my salvation lies – meeting people, learning from them, leaving them richer. Just need to find opportunities to make money that allows me to do this for the rest of my life!

So that.

In other news, continuing with the things I hate, today I need to finish shopping for EBC. EBC is great but I hate shopping. Takes too much effort. Requires tolerating too many pushy salespeople. But I have less than 6 days to go and I need to buy a few essentials. A couple of bags – a large one and a small one. A pant. I dont want to buy this at all. I can tolerate one of the two. But not both. And then tiny things like a water bottle, safety patches, etc. And then there are smaller things that I dont even know.

So the day would be spent on all this. I do have some work planned but let’s see when I find the time.

Guess this is about it.

I am realizing that if you remove work from your day-to-day thinking (like I have), and start expecting literally nothing from your friends or family (like I have), and stop thinking about leaving an impact, making the world a better place, and everything else, life starts to look simple. At least the last few weeks, even months for that matter have been like that. I have been able to abstract myself from various complex webs that we often weave in our heads. I think I should write about it sometime. Lol! This sometime list is like infinity!

Anyhow, here’s the streaks. Today is the 275th update. If I write till the 17th, it would be 281 posts. I will probably take voice notes when I am gone and then transcribe them. Let’s see how it goes.

Chalo. Over and out.

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 184
#noCoffee – 28
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 1334
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 274
NOFAP – 10

100921 – Morning Pages

A quick post where I rant to my heart’s content. About nothing in specific. And yet, about everything.

7:08. Home. Woke up some time ago. I am unable to find a place where I can sit and work. There is this humdrum of a well-lived house – sounds of clattering from the kitchen, water being poured somewhere on some plants, the incessant doorbell, and so on and so forth. I am so so so used to living by myself and designing my spaces to my liking that I am unable to understand how to react to all this commotion. Of course, this is not commotion per se. This is more like the sounds of life but I guess these are not for me. I designed my life in a way that I did not have a kitchen (though I wanted to change that), there was no one to talk to or do anything till I first initiated. Even when I lived with sgGF, she was the kind to sleep late and I had the first few hours of the day to myself. And there’s nothing that sets my mood, the tone of my day like the mornings do. My mornings are the most sacrosanct time. I need to be left to myself – even if I am watching Taarak Mehta!

Plus, since I have come home (been two days), I haven’t been able to think of things. This happens each time I am here. I am not sure what is the cause. There has to be one. Why is it that I am not as engaged as I would want to be when I am in Delhi? #tothink

Anyhow. Rant hai. Moving on.

So in the highlights yesterday, I met one of those young ones that I want to become my budhape ki laathi. It was fabulous to see young people and their ambitions and dreams and the effort they are willing to make for that. I wish I could give them a better support system than what I have offered them right now. I call them #teamSG. I need to find a better name. I mean Team SG is super vain and I don’t want that. So that’s something I need to work on.

I was also at a Decathlon outlet and I was amazed at the collection. The sad part though was that the person who was support to help around was super uninterested in selling. What a shame, to be honest. Also, I noticed a subtle difference. At the Decathlons in Mumbai, they dont ask you to deposit your bags to the security. Here, they did. Guess something to do with how people behave? How big a problem pilferage is in Delhi? Lol!

Oh, I missed mentioning but I slept at around 7 last night. Woke up at 9. Slept again at 10. And then I woke up at 6ish today. And while the sleep was ok, I had a few distinct dreams that I recall. Yay! I think it’s after a while that I have been able to remember my dreams. Took a note over at #echochamber.

For the EBC, I had planned to take a Gimbal and a new phone to record a video blog of the journey. However, I have decided against it. I dont have the money to get a phone. And the one I have can’t do – it’s a three-year-old iPhone and the battery is literally dead. And I dont want to spend anything. I would rather use the money to help build the people that I care for. No, I can’t put in words why I do this for others but this is what defines me and I can’t escape from it. Maybe with time, I will change but as of today, this is how it is. So that!

What else?

I feel as if I have a lot to talk about. A lot to write. A lot to pour out. But then the thoughts are scattered so all over the place that I dont know what to do. I am so glad that I have this break coming up. I will be with some people but I can choose to remain aloof and silent and merely observe things. Let’s see how that experiment goes.

Guess this is about it. Time to get going with the day. Have a lot to do. Need to of course find a place to go work from. Not sure where I’d go. Time shall tell.

Over and out. Here’s streaks.

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 183
#noCoffee – 27
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 6096
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 273
NOFAP – 9

090921 – Morning Pages

A super-short-post about what I did yesterday and what I am thinking about. Not much to read to be honest.

9:15. A friend’s office. Here cos I needed to work and I couldn’t do that at home. Not that the home is not comfortable but there are way too many distractions here. So that. I am hoping to work from here for a large part of the day.

In terms of updates from yesterday, the highlight has to be this 19-year old that I met yesterday. He sort of exactly knows what he wants in life and where he wants to be and the path he needs to take to reach there. I was left speechless after I spoke to him. I was impressed beyond words. I mean I do have other young people that I spend time with but this one was like none other. At 38, twice his age, I dont have a fraction of the clarity that he has. Kids these days!

Apart from that the day yesterday was sort of busy with work. Had way too many calls to attend and too many things to do. Time just went like poof! Need to find a solution to this fuckery. Let’s see when and how.

What else?

I am sort of out of clues. Thing is, I am writing this at 9:30 when the day has started and the mind’s already occupied with things that need to be done during the day. Maybe more tomorrow. Or may be this morning pages thingy is going to wither down like people do.

Sigh.

More tomorrow. Hopefully.

Here’s streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 182
#noCoffee – 26
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 2550
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 272
NOFAP – 8

080921 – Morning Pages

A short note on mortality and how I would want to leave this world. When I do.

9:38. Home. The only home I’ve ever known. Except in the embrace of the ones I that I’ve loved. And the ones that have loved me. So this home, the one I have grown in, am here after a while. Almost a year! The last time I came here, it was Diwali of 2020 and then I went to Goa. And then I was in Mumbai and then the pandemic hit us again and all that. So that.

Ok. Time to get into some somber mood. This is probably one of the most important posts I’d ever write. I hope words can do justice.

So yesterday, I went to a hospital to meet a relative who’s just had heart surgery.

Lemme give some context. I’ve known him since I was a child and I have spent enough and more time in his backyard. Even in his lap. And he’s given me no less love than he would give to his children. And in life, he’s been a pillar to the entire family. And beyond. He has been an icon of righteousness, selfless service, and everything that you want in a man. No, he’s not really one of those people who’d inspire you with his tales of courage or exploits in business. He is as simple as they come and yet as special as they could be.

Yesterday, he was bedridden. Which is ok. I have seen him when he’s asleep.

But then he had a million wires and hoses and pipes running through his body to the machines that sort of keep the vital functions alive. He looked frail. Fragile. He still had his confidence and his neck held high, the one that I remember him for. But he was clearly putting in a lot of effort to do that. And oh man, did he put the effort!

Of course, he would recover and would be back to action before we know it. Of course, this is part and parcel of life. Of course, I need to be strong and get used to seeing my loved ones in that state – after all, age is catching up.

But that’s not what this post is about. It is about how I do NOT want to be like that. Articulation happened when I was talking to Krishna yesterday. So, the thing is, most people that know me, know me as someone hyper. Someone that can’t sit idle for a minute. Someone that is so fidgety that he’s moving all the time. Someone so full of energy that it’s literally impossible to control. Or contain. Someone who’s so infectious, so disturbing, so all over the place that you can’t ignore him. I dont know if this is good or bad. But this is how I am. If you have any other impressions of me, please do let me know.

So, if I were to fall sick and I am forced onto a bed, bondage-d by pipes and cables and all that, I do NOT want anyone I know to see me decapitated like that. Before any of those people that I love (there are just a handful of those) were to see me like that, I would want the plug to be pulled. Really. I have thought hard about this. For all the zest I have for life, for all the things I want to do with our limited time here, if I am ever in a position like that, I really want my dreams, my hopes, my existence to be wiped out. I am ok to go without saying my goodbyes. The good part is that hardly anyone cares for me outside my parents and probably my sis. So there is no question of giving closure to people. They would find it. Time anyway heals.

Coming back. So, I dont want the ones I love to have the last memory of me to not be of a person that couldn’t sit still and not have child-like enthusiasm or energy. Come what may.

So yeah. That.

Over and out.

And here’s streaks.

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 181
#noCoffee – 25
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 3109
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 271
NOFAP – 7

070921 – Morning Pages

A short post about how I spent yesterday. Some rants about life, time, health, massages and other things.

8:40. Ahmedabad.

Today I leave Ahd and go to Delhi.

No my work here is not done. But I am done with the place. I can stay longer and all that but need a change in the scenery.

Taking a train. No, I dont like it. But desperate times call for desperate measures. So this is as desperate as it goes. All the money I made in the last few months has been poured into LHV and the next short film. No, it’s not a bad thing. It’s a tradeoff at best. And I am ok with it.

Both these things are exactly where I want to be in life – venture capital, films. These are the building blocks that I am putting in right now for the future. Just that I am almost 40 and there is no future in sight. Sigh!

Anyhow.

So yesterday was fairly ok. I was at a Starbucks in the first half. Got done a lot of things that needed to be done. And then I met a few friends. Pitched the idea for C4E Base. Got rejected. Met more friends. Jammed on other things that could be done. Caught on an afternoon nap (must get regular with these). Woke up and worked again.

I think it was the perfect day.

Except that when I went to bed, I was in that #foreveralone fetal position till I found sleep. Need to do something about it. No, I dont want shaadi. Neither do I want steady love. Have had enough of those and dont think I want to invest energies anymore. Unless some miracles happen. Never say never, as they say.

So, the good part or bad part of being on the road is that you know that you are short of time and you try to make the max of whatever you have. I mean I am writing this from the breakfast table. Otherwise, I would have waited to get to a Starbucks and then write. You know, am trying to max out my time. I anyway like this life where I am rushed all the time. Just that the rush has to be caused by me and not by others. The slow life is not for me.

I must mention that most of my conversations with people here in Ahmedabad have reinforced the belief that life is short. Time is shorter. Especially for people like me who are old, un-rich, almost intelligent, and still do not know where they want to land in life.

So that.

Ok. Let’s move to frivolous things.

The other day my mom told me to meet one of my relatives here in Ahd. Her specific instructions were to wear pants and be well-groomed when I went. Lol. She knows me too well. So, I went for a haircut and all that. While I was there, I was tempted to get a head massage. And I did. And oh man, it was the worst massage in the history of mankind. I mean I would have questioned the very existence of the masseuse if I was in the mood. But then I let go. The good part is, I realized how much I love massages. I must must make it a part of my daily routine and life once I get back to a regular life post the trek. #note2self

The thing with the trek is, I have less than 10 days to go and I am not in great shape at all. The deviated septum is getting deviated all the more. I am eating like a pig. I haven’t walked at all in the last 10 days. Once I reach Delhi tomorrow, I am hoping I would try and get some semblance going. I can at least try breathing exercises if nothing else. I really want to come back alive and do more things with my time :D.

So yeah. I guess this is it for the day. See you guys tomorrow. Hopefully. I mean it’s 270 days. I wish I could extend it to 300 but theek hai. Such is life.

Here’s streaks…

OMAD – 0
#book2 – 0
#noCoke – 180
#noCoffee – 24
#aPicADay – 0
Money spent – 2025
Killer Boogie – 0
10K steps a day – 0
Surya Namaskar – 0
10 mins of meditation – 0
Minimaslism Counter – -2 +1 (ease of shifting)
Morning Pages / Meditations – 270
NOFAP – 6