230721 – Morning Pages

A quick note about my love for aaloo. And a shortpost on how I spent yesterday.

7:43. Woke up late. While sleeping, I got late with work. Too much to be done in too little time. Even though I had decided that I will focus on health and nothing else but the thing I was working on is not regular dal roti work. Rather it is for the future and I am hoping it will bear fruit someday. So that becomes important.

However, I still slept 8 hours. So that!

Also, yesterday I took a break from working out. Lol, working out. I just do Surya Namaskars. And I call that workout!

So, I did not do SNs. But I did walk 12K+ steps and did walk up 19 flights of stairs. And I ate one time. And oh man, I ate like a man out of famine. Sandwiches, Upma, aaloo. Man, I love aaloo. I hadn’t had it in a while and loved the taste. I think it’s the best damn thing to eat. After rice. I know at some point in time in life I will quit both these all together but they will remain my favorite food and I will miss em.

Moving on.

I have to boast that while I was walking around last night, I was very tempted to order Egg Rolls and Samosas and Rice and all from various places that are my regular places to order from. I almost walked in. I even told myself that I will reward myself with em if I walked 12K steps. And like the 5-year old that could delay gratification for marshmallows, I did walk 12K and yet I delayed the gratification!

A very big win for someone like me who is very fickle with my concentration and decisions.

So that.

Oh, I finished watching Toofan yesterday. And I can see why it hasn’t done well. I think the way they positioned it (a boxer’s story), is where they went wrong. If they had positioned it as a love story, under the guise of a man’s search for respect and validation, people would have seen it independently and all the comparisons made with other “boxing” and sports films wouldn’t have happened. I plan to write a letter to Anjum Sir to ask about this thought. I hope he responds to the letter and makes me wiser.

Also, I had a hard hard day yesterday in terms of personal space. Life hasn’t been kind in terms of relationships and I don’t know what to do to fix those. More on echochamber.

Just that I was distracted with what I am doing at LHV. Grateful to AaGe and AnGo. Without these guys, I wouldn’t be doing an iota of things I am doing on LHV. Plus the call yesterday with one of the prospective companies was fascinating and looks very promising. Need to scale the effort on that front. Let’s see who that goes.

So that’s about it for the time being.

I am not thinking about anything, to be honest, but not eating crap and doing as much as I can do to get in shape for the EBC, which is in less than 2 months. Time to go do those 12 SNs before I start the day.

See you on the other side. Oh, and, here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 1
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 134
  • #noCoffee – 3
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 4
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -1
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 224

220721 – Morning Pages

A short post on what I did yesterday. Not much to be honest. But a post none the less.

8:27. Woke a few minutes ago. I slept at around 11:30 last night and my body was probably so tired from all the workout I did. Lol. Workout. Walking 10000 steps. Mr. Garg is funny.

Anyhow, I just woke up and I think I will rest it out today. I will probably just walk around.

So here’s a recap of the day that went by. It was a chutti for most people but I worked more than I do on other days. It was an ok day, to be honest. But on the road to EBC front, I climbed up 19 stories. 8 in the afternoon, 3 to a friend’s place, and another 8 once in the evening. Walked 17000+ steps. I could do it as I decided to take a work call while I walked. I must do it more often. Any calls post 6 are to be taken while walking unless you need to be on camera. Today, at 6, am supposed to be on camera :D. But right after that, I will go for a longish walk. Even if it’s raining. I have found my groove with walks in the rain!

So, yesterday, I wrote a difficult apology mail to a friend that I started a business with but I couldn’t do my part. It’s one of those red spots on my CV. I start projects and I stop those but most of those reach a point where they stop making sense. This one, I did not even put my head or heart to after a point. I even ghosted the friend. And this is very very unlike me. In the sense, I like to face issues and take em head-on. I don’t run away from work-related problems. Rather, I try to find a solution and then I try to ensure that those mistakes are not repeated. With this one, I did none of these. I did what I hate the most – run away and hide. I am sorry for how I conducted myself with it. The sad part is that I can’t do anything to fix it. Apologies don’t make sense when a lot of water has passed under the bridge.

No, the load is not off my head.
No, I did not fix what was broken.

But I did face my fear and acknowledge that I was wrong.

So that.

Apart from this, met Aditya Save for a walk. He gave me a lot of inputs on where I lack as a professional. The highlight was that if I choose one of the things I am working on, I probably will scale it to a point where I will be financially free. I don’t agree but I will think about it and let’s see how this goes and what I conclude. Even if I were to focus on one thing, I don’t think I have the luxury to focus on just one. I make my money by juggling multiple balls in the air, while I am perched on a unicycle on a tight rope a million feet above the ground.

Towards the end of the day, I saw some more of Toofan. As I see it, I can spot some obvious errors. Will write a post about those. And maybe a letter to Anjum Sir. Not from the perspective of correcting those. But from the perspective of knowing why Anjum Sir thought those things would work. He must have thought those things would work. Let’s see when I get around to it.

So yeah. This is about it from yesterday. I am hoping to not work out today, except for some walking. Or stairs may be. If I change my mood towards the evening and go some Surya Namaskar, it would be a bomb!

Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0. Had chocolate at afternoon and some soup at around 10:30 in the night.
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 133
  • #noCoffee – 3
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 3. Did 17K. Yay!
  • Surya Namaskar – 3
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -1
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 223

210721 – Morning Pages

Had a fairly bad day yesterday. Can’t get into specifics but here’s me dumping things on paper, hoping to get some sanity.

6:50. Woke up a few minutes ago. Had a bomb of a day yesterday. It sucked on all counts. At work, it sucked. At home, it sucked. While talking to friends, it sucked. Seeing everyone cool and all without me around, it sucked. It was probably one of the lowest points I’ve had in a while.

There were a few silver linings as well but more or less it sucked. I dont know who’s to blame. I mean, it has to be me. In the sense, it was me who did not work over the last week and thus I had work and escalations piled up. I must be expecting the world from my loved ones and relationships and I must be a drag on their senses and emotions. And that’s why they did not want to humor me.

I mean it has to be cos if everyone from all sides is taking me for granted, I have to be the one that is at fault. I thought I was a people’s person but I will have to relook at how I operate and work with people.

Anyhow.
Glad the day it’s over.

So in terms of good things, yesterday, I managed 12 Surya Namaskars for the second day on the trot. I had thought it would be tough but I did manage. The push-ups are being a pain. Could only do 10. The shoulders are gone. Managed 12K walks. Climbed 8 stories. So more or less, fitness was on point.

Managed OMAD. Ate Roti after a while. Feeling bloated since! I need to find some food that doesn’t bloat me. Any ideas?

However, I got late while sleeping. Was stuck with work. And then some personal snafu. And thus I woke up late (after 6). I didn’t feel like doing pushups – the shoulder is still being a pest. Will probably try during the day. Managed 12 rounds of SN.

Need to add Pranayama breathing to be mix as I go along.

Come to think of it, it’s funny how in just two three days, all conversation on my blog and all chatter in my head has moved to fitness. Earlier I was thinking a lot about work and life and dunno what all. Now, it’s fitness.

Ok. In other news, I decided I need to get off Twitter. Been away from Instagram for a few days. Need to cut out everything that is a time sink. Even if that adds to who I am as a person. I plan to stay away till October. If I manage it, it will be 2 odd months and it will probably be my longest break from social media. Let’s see if I can manage. Let’s see how this iteration of Digital Detox goes.

For someone like me who’s addicted to conversations, people, strangers, exciting things, and shiny things, this is going to be tough. But then tough things are what you need to do in life when you want to get back to your feet. No?

What else am I thinking about…?
Work? Money? People in life? Future?

Actually all of these!

It sucks I can’t write specifics. I mean however in public I may want to live, I know that whatever I write can be traced back to others. And they may not appreciate this kind of candor.

Thank God, I have echochamber where I can write in detail. I dunno what I would do without it.

Anyhow. Time to get going.

Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 2
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 132
  • #noCoffee – 2
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 2
  • Surya Namaskar – 2
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -1
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 222

200721 – Morning Pages

A quick short post about my experiments with workouts. No, they aren’t going that great. Maybe they’d, in a few days.

4:48. Woke up a few minutes ago. Groggy but I am ok. Better than other days.

Yesterday, put health over anything else. I did not even work. Which is unlike me but that’s ok. It worked out ok. No one missed me. Or my work. Or lack of thereof. The world continued to move around. Kaafi sobering thought. Learned yet again that I am not the center of the universe.

I was in bed by 10. Typically I would scroll around on Twitter and WhatsApp and other such apps as I drifted to sleep. Yesterday I did not touch it at all. A small win. I think.

Also, have decided to quit the house. Even if that means that I will have to shack in with someone for a few days in September. Started to clean the house. Gave away the Ukulele that Krishna made my buy. Will give more things away in the next few days. I mean I don’t have a lot of things anyway. Just some books. The guitar goes back to Vivek. The table goes to the office kind of thing that am trying to set up. The bookshelf, am not sure. Let’s see.

So in terms of other good things, I did 25 push-ups yesterday. In reps of 5. I did not know I was capable of doing these many. Yes, I took a lot of breaks between these reps. Yes, I couldn’t do SN properly after the pushups. But I did nonetheless. Today, I will try to do SN before the pushups. I ate once. Walked, went to the beach. See this. Climbed up 8 floors even though I was tired. All in all, better day health-wise than most others. Plan to repeat today.

Continue to trip onto Rap music. From Divine primarily. And then some others. Let’s see what’s next.

Update. Tried doing this set. I was dead in the 40th second! Damn! I will still go ahead and do my 12 SNs.

Thing is, its funny. How things stay on the top of your head. There’s a lot in life that I can be unthankful for and crib about. In fact last night, in sleep, I remember I woke up to have some water and I was thinking about my love life and how it sucked. May be the landlord is right. But then somehow, the thoughts immediately shifted to how I need to sleep and not check the phone (apart from checking on time) and do something in the morning. And here we are. While I am still thinking a lot about it, I am more concerned about getting those 12 SNs in before I get going with the day. I just hope I become strong enough to be able to come back from EBC. And then work hard to actually gun the summit. And strong enough in my head to let go. Of love. And of everything attached to it.

Anyhow. Am ranting. Time to get going with the day. Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 1
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 131
  • #noCoffee – 1
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 1
  • Surya Namaskar – 1
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -1
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 221

Wow so many 1’s 😀


190721 – Morning Pages

Short note about old age, fitness, music, work and the unkind societal perceptions about moi.

7 AM.
From today on, I am hoping to change the way I live. I will get more conscious about how I live, how I eat, how I work out, and all that. Let’s see if I challenge myself on this, can I change myself. The idea is to live better, be healthy for a long long time. Wait. Lemme talk about old age. And how it sucks.

See this. Lucky Ali is the first artist that I became a fan of. He was what everything young person wanted to be. Sing well, play guitar like God, write things that can move mountains, farm, live on his terms, and so on and so forth. Even for his music, he refused to go down the predictable path and release a few pieces, at his terms. And not with large record labels. Why do we need music to be trapped in the boardrooms?

When I see this, there are a couple of ways in which I can look at this.

A. The guy is still got the zest for life. He’s working and doing what he likes the best – you know, performing, making music, chilling, and all that. So, perfect life.

B. On the other hand, the quality of music is so so so, well, average. I mean he’s going off-sync. And you know it’s not even planned. No, he’s not like that. He’s seen better days. It sucks to say this but he should have listened to his body and moved on. Or do something else that is more apt for his age. You know, perform solo.

No, my adulation for him is no less than what it was when I first became a fan. He will remain the first love that I’ve ever known. It was his music that played as background, in my head, as I was growing up. I had as a child.

So that.

Let me also talk about another thing that happened yesterday that sort of affected me. At least till I was sleeping. I am ok now of course. So my landlord came in yesterday for some errand. Unannounced. I hate when someone comes in where I live without informing. No, it’s not about surprise. It’s about needing time to prepare to put on a facade for social conversations. Anyhow. So he came in. And among other things, he gave me unsolicited thoughts about how I should be married. And how my life would be waste if I don’t have anyone to carry on my lineage. He told me that while it’s ok to stay alone at 38, once I am 45, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night and toss around in the bed. And then how if I had a wife, I would be dressed better and not roam around in tattered clothes. And then he qualified that I would not get any great women and I must marry whoever I can get.

I don’t even know on how many counts was the guy wrong. I mean, he’s not wrong. He comes from another era and at that time, the things he said probably made sense. They don’t anymore.

Agreed that I am not the most well-dressed. But I know that I am the most well-behaved for sure. I am hoping I am! I may not have a significant other and he may be right that I feel the need to have someone next to me once in a while but does that mean I marry for that? Well no!

Ok, now that I am writing, the words are not flowing. Maybe it’s not affected me as much as I thought it would. Which is a good thing. It’s great to get outsiders’ perspectives on your life. Especially from the ones that are vocal and dont mince words. So that.

Chalo, moving on to start the day. I am done with my push-ups and Surya Namaskars for the day. Cataloging here. Now, I need to watch what I eat. Hoping to eat Dal and Eggs. Wierd combination. I know. Let’s see if I can make it.

Oh, and I’ve been having coffee for last two days. Today on, am back to ghaas ka paani. Time to get started with work. Over and out.

Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 130
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -1
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 220