220621 – Morning Pages

Quick post on how I spent yesterday and some highlights. And some lessons. And some thoughts.

6:42. I woke up a few minutes ago. I dint sleep well. I really think it’s all the coffee that I am having. I can choose not to have it. But the challenge is I can’t get things done from where I live. So that. Lol, I should, by now, either stop ranting about it or fix it. Each day I have the same old rant.

Anyhow. Good things about yesterday?

  1. I was tempted to have Diet Coke. And I did not. Thanks to Harshit and a couple of more people on Twitter.
  2. Oh, I am back on Twitter. Please do follow me on @saurabh.
  3. I found a cheaper supplier to get my iPhone’s screen fixed. All this while I was paying about 8K to get some screen. I’ve been able to negotiate it down to 5.5K. Let’s see if I can get it down a bit more. My sweet spot is 4K. I know I will get a crappy screen but the phone I use is like 3 years old and is broken and all that. I just need to get it to work for a few more months till I have saved enough to get a new one!
  4. Roam now has a desktop app for Mac! This means I will be able to take more notes! Yay!

Apart from these minor ones, here are a few things that I want to catalog for posterity.

A. I got myself an electric toothbrush yesterday. This one. I tried it and it was unlike other experiences I’ve had with brushing. It was a funny feeling to have something shaking the interiors of my mouth. It reminded me of all those dental treatments I’ve got done for myself. You know how they move that drill in your mouth? That. Let’s see how the experiment goes.

B. I was talking to someone to see if I can do some business writing for them. I sent them a link to this website where I write morning pages and all that. They looked at it and said that this is more like a personal blog and thus does not showcase my acumen as a business writer.

I agree. So, I need to work on the website to clearly highlight the kind of work I do. Make sections about my thought, about what I do (work), about projects (like SoG Book, SoG Grant, NFG), ideas, writing (for businesses, fiction, and films) and I don’t know all those things that I do.

So that’s an action item for me. #note2self

C. The next few days would be crazy mad. One of the book projects I am working on (where I have been commissioned to work on a book) has revived and there a million changes needed in it. It’s one of those projects that’s really challenging me at almost all levels – intellectual, creative, patience and more. Plus the story I am working on is very very inspiring. To a point that if I can build a life like the man I am helping write the story of, I would die a happy man.

D. Staying with writing, on a whim I decided that I want to help people write better. Actually, it was not a whim, per se. It was an outcome of the NFG session I recently took. I realized that the world would be far better if people could write better. At least in business communication. So I put this post out on Linkedin.

The thing is, all this work from home has made us Zoom monkeys and we are sending a million emails back and forth and often a lot is lost in transition. I want to offer some practical tips and inputs on what seems to work.

Of course, with things like writing, there is no universal shortcut or method. I can only help define a set of rules that could be useful. I am in the process of crafting content. Help me find out what all needs to be taught. As a business professional, what do you think you need help with when it comes to writing?

And no. Like other things, I will not charge individuals for this. I would rather have businesses run this. Let’s see where it goes.

E. I had some 2 KGs of rice yesterday. I mean I had rice for lunch. And I had rice for dinner. I love the damn grain so much that if I had my way, I would eat just that. But then, I know that it’s unhealthy as fuck and I need to stay away from it. But then dil to bachcha hai ji and all that. So I shall have more rice today. And for the next few days. Till I figure out what my next diet regimen is going to be. Or may till I decide if I want to spend the month of July in Delhi.

Let’s see.

I guess this is about it.
I know this is a short post but this is all I have on the top of my head for the time being.

Here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 191
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 103
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

210621 – Morning Pages

A ranty post on how it sucks to be a failure. And my inability to do anything about it.

8:23. I am at a Starbucks. After the break of almost 3 days, I wanted to get a head start. And I did not want to be locked in my house for that. So as soon as I woke up, I shat, showered, powdered, put on a nice shirt (really! ask me for pics ;P), and reached the Starbucks.

The coffee has been ordered. The large wooden table has been staked claimed for. The calendar has been fired up. The music has been put on Youtube (I need to find new music that gets me in the zone). And here we are. Typing away to glory. #note2self. Must have clipped the nails before I came here. They’re way too long to type easily.

So the break did me good. I think. I mean for a change, I don’t know remember a single thing that I am working on. I will have to check my Asana and get my colleagues to help me with this. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Good – it allows me to sort of recharge my batteries. Bad – for someone that is so famously obsessed with work all the time, how can I even forget things that I am working on?

Ok, I dont know what else to write about. There are way too many (and too few) thoughts in my head – both work and personal. I feel I am swirling around with the same things for last so many days. May be I need to start a new project? But then I have a million projects in the pipeline that need working. All of those are stuck at various stages (of un-completion — some are yet to be started, some need some action, some are in limbo).

In fact, this is something that I kept thinking about all through the trip over the weekend. Everyone agrees that I have all the raw material that you need to become a runaway success (as defined by societal, social, and economic metrics) and yet I am struggling to even make the ends meet (I do have enough and more work these days but I mean in general. Most times I am worried where would I get the next project from).

I dont know where I lack. I am mostly not lazy. I am very resourceful. I support people without expecting anything in return.

I dont know what I need to change to become better.

Funny thing is, I know EXACTLY what someone else could do to become better at their work. In the sense that I can give them gyaan and point out the flaws in their work, life, approach etc. And I know mostly the inputs I give to people tend to work. They appreciate me for that. But when it comes to helping myself, I am unable to.

I am almost 40 and I still dont know the answer. I am beyond the best years and it’s all downhill from here on. And like I said, I still dont know the answer. I was not born to, you know, do the ordinary (make ends meet, acquire assets, raise a family, etc.). Rather, do more with my time (inspire others, help others make meaning, etc.). May be, I am a mere fool, a dreamer that refuses to believe that his time is gone and all he can do is make peace with whatever shreds are left for him to work with.

Talking of dreams, I remember a real dream from yesterday. Lol, real dream!

I dont recall all the details but here it goes. I was walking around somewhere when I saw a coin on the road. I love when I find money like that. I bend down to pick it up. I see another coin. And another. I pick them up. And then I realize that there are so many coins. I of course pick all those up. I distinctly remember a couple of coins were those tiny 10p coins. See the pic below.

A 10 paisa coin

While I was picking those up, someone comes around and says that all those coins strewed around are his. I tell him that it’s a free world and its finders keepers. And then I tell him that since he claims the coins are his, I will give them back. But I want to keep one of the 10p coins for myself.

Of course other coins are of higher value and leaving a 10p coin on the table probably seems like a bargain to the other person (who I don’t know).

The guy politely allows me to keep that coin. And that’s the end of the dream that I recall.

There are two distinct things about this.

A, I remembered a dream after ages!
B, I typically do not remember these vivid details. You know, a 10 paisa coin and all that. Yesterday I did. So that.

I hope that this dream is a harbinger of greatness that I chase. And if not greatness, then of wealth!

With that, I think, its time to end the post. The day beckons. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 190
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 102
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

PS: One of the solutions to my failures could be to stop wasting time that does not contribute to revenue. In the sense that, I could stop with these morning pages. I could stop helping others. I could stop chasing all those dreams (and focus). But then the things I do right now (morning pages, throwing 100s of darts, etc) are the ones that keep me sane. If I did not have these morning pages, I probably would have gone insane (and I don’t say this lightly). If I did not throw all those darts and focussed on just one thing, I would have been out of work!

200621 – Morning Pages

Short post on the second day at Panchgani. Nothing of interest for people that don’t know me. Like most other posts 🙂

7:26. Woke a few minutes ago. Still at Panchgani. Will be back today.

So, Panchgani is the ideal small town. A very very small center of the town that has grocery stores, bakeries, chemists, and all that. I don’t know how many tiny streets and alleys spider out from there. Each with its own characteristic and quirk. No, there’s no way to explore them all. If I had all the money in the world, I would spend a large part of my thinking time at such a place. Just that, I’d like to know people as well. Right now, I don’t. This is the same feeling I got when I lived in Goa for a bit. I ended up knowing almost everyone in the tiny part of Baga where I lived. I like the idea of familiarity. I like the idea of small talk that is more than just formality.

Anyhow, a few interesting things that are worth cataloging…

For starters, I am eating like a man that has come out of famine. I am eating so many full meals in one single day that my friends are literally gaping at me. I think I would have eaten more in the last two days than I ate in the last month. But then I must say, the food here tastes better and feels more nourishing. Guess there’s better produce. Guess they don’t cook as they cook in the commercial kitchens back in Mumbai. Guess the weather makes it better?

Even a simple Brun-Maska is to die for. The Brun is how it should be. Crispy crush. Soft inside. Not flaky. Not hard. The butter was probably the Amul one. Oh, I got this from Meher Cafe. Got talking to the owner. A Parsi man of indeterminate age – that’s the thing with Parsis. You can never figure out how old they are. So, the owner told me that his wife is a believer in Meher Baba – someone that a couple of other friends are also believers of.

The other thing that’s worth mentioning is that the month of Keto and whatever Yoga I did over the last month was useless. I found it hard to walk down a damn mountain (Harrison’s Folly) to the town situated in the valley just before Panchgani. And here I want to, climb Mt. Everest. Sigh!

I am writing this morning after the walk and every joint in the body is hurting. The back is so stiff that you could break rocks on the top of it. The legs are so sore that I need a masseuse to work overtime to get the knots out. Oh, that’s the one thing that I want to get access to. A masseuse. Let’s see when.

Third. This trip is one of those rare ones that I did not work at all at. Except for these morning pages. I am not sure if this is recharging my batteries in any way but it was good to not do anything. And not think about anything. Must take more of these breaks. But next time I go somewhere, I want to go without an agenda. I want to be able to live slow, take it easy and not run around from one thing to another. I want to think more, churn more, and make some decisions. And then maybe come back and act on the things that I decided on!

So yeah. That.

What else?
I dont know. Apart from the fact that I am still tripping onto this track.

With that, end of the post. Back to regular programming from tomorrow onward. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 189
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 101
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

190621 – Morning Pages

Quick short note on what’s at the top of my mind while I am trying to stay away from work.

7:26. So, I woke up 5 minutes ago. Off a new bed. In a new place (Panchgani).

I am on a break of sorts for the next two days. The idea is to not use the computer or the phone as much as I would typically do on a regular day. I had thought I will think about things that are important to me and I can’t think of thinking while I am busy with regular humdrum.

But then I dont think that will happen here. For a simple reason that I am not prepared. I was to, yesterday. But work. So, these two days are “wasted” from that perspective. But then a break is gonna happen nonetheless. So that’s a great outcome.

Anyhow, yesterday, I did an NFG session for an audience that had paid to listen to me talk. For me, this was my first such session. Where I was paid to be a speaker on a specific subject.

However, thing is, all my life I have stayed away from charging for sharing my knowledge. I’ve never written about it. But let me try and talk about it today.

A. I have had this fear that if I charge people money and they dont enjoy what I had to say, would they not feel cheated? I mean I feel cheated when I pay for something and then I dont derive desired value from it. I dont want people that pay on the other side like that.

This is the same reason why I wrote this page on tnks. I did not want people to feel sad about buying my book and then not enjoying it.

B. I am very wary of coming across as one of those slick salesmen that are merely interested in selling things. The genuineness is fake. The conversations are to drive you toward a purchase. The agenda is to sell something. There is so much manipulation in each conversation that you know that your best interest is far away from their heads.

And I am by design not a person that wants to manipulate others. I like the idea of free will. I love the idea of people taking rational decisions (and not merely rationalising the ones they’ve taken). While I love brands and business and money, I am also an anti-consumerism-ist. I like the idea of less being more. I know that most selling is probably not needed. This is also a reason why I probably suck at sales as a discipline.

I know, I know. I need to believe that what I am selling is of value. And the decision getting taken on the other side (by the one you’re selling to) is being made without any coercion per se. I know that if I don’t sell, I will die hungry. It’s the same story as an antelope trying to outrun the slowest of the pack to survive that day.

So that.

Oh, this also reminds me of what one of my ex-bosses once told me. That I dont like the idea of having money. Every time I get some money, I start wailing in the misery of having money. I start pining for the days when I did not have the money. I get restless with the idea of money in my bank and I start spending it like a mad man. While I want to be rich and all that, this is probably the reason that I am still not wealthy. You know, the handicap with the art of selling and the discomfort with money in the bank.

Ok, now that I know what’s wrong, maybe I’ll work on it over?
Let’s see when. Adding to #sgToDo.

Chalo, enough.
Time to pack the laptop back in the bag. Will get back to it tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, I am back to Ankur Tewari’s Dil Haare.

And here’s the streaks.

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 188
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 100. Yay!
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

180621 – Morning Pages

A quick short post on how I am feeling this Friday morning.

8:25. Up for a bit. About 10 minutes or so.

So yesterday I ate kachra after a month of clean eating. I had chips, samosa, parantha, roti, rice (mmmm) and I dont know what all. No, no egg soup. No, I did not savor the taste – you know, how I was expecting it to experience a burst of flavour in my system? That did not happen.

What I got was a stomach-ache. And I can already feel a pimple popping up on the nose.

I have to thus find a sustainable solution to this food thing. I’d like to subscribe to a service that sends me flavourful, good food that has no vegetable oils and is less on carbs. I dont know what that could be. I mean I know there are a few. It’s just that there’s this cost-benefit thingy. Will think about it and decide. You guys have any ideas? I live in Andheri West.

And no, I refuse to get a kitchen in place.

Maybe I will get one of my friends to get it cooked and Dunzo it to me? Like he did for a few days before I got the Keto dabba. Let’s see. I will think over the weekend. For the time being, I shall order in some South Indian breakfast 😀

So, for the weekend, initially, I had thought I will not carry my laptop. And thus break the streak of 187 days. But then work came up and I will have to carry it. So, good that streak will probably remain in place. Though I may not be able to write first thing in the morning. But I shall write nonetheless.

The other thing that took a lot of thought is buying a new toothbrush. No, not a regular toothbrush but an electric one. I have been thinking about it for a while and I think I am ready to commit. I know I know that I want to live with as few things as possible in life. I still will need a toothbrush and if it’s better, why not? I anyway have bad teeth. If it helps, why not. The idea of going minimalist is to replace excess with few but with the few that works!

Ok, I have a new term that I can use. ‘The Chase of Few’. Wah!

What else?

Well, the list of things to do, the ode to “She” and more remain open. I add more tasks on Asana than I knock off from the list. So that.

Oh yeah. I finished the second season of Fauda. This one I played at 1.5x speed. Not kidding. It’s was an interesting experience. On one side, I spent 15-18 hours (24 episodes of 40 mins each) watching it. And on the other, I merely went through the motions of watching. There was no real watching I did there! Not cool at all.

Monday on, I am shunning Netflix, unless it’s directly related to something I am working on.

So that’s about it for the day. Need to pack a lot in the next few hours before I shut my phone. And with that, it’s an over an out for the day.

Here’s streaks.

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 187
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 99. I will have a few Diet Cokes tomorrow for sure.
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

170621 – Morning Pages

Quick note on things that are on the top of my head.

8:25. While I’ve been up since 7, I’ve been a zombie. I’ve now shat-showered-powdered and waiting for my breakfast to arrive. And while the plan was to write this from the Starbucks, I thought, lemme grab a bite before I am stuck in a Starbucks for next few hours.

So, I did not sleep well last night. Guess too much coffee. Too much food. Too many distractions. Too much on my mind. And too much Fauda. And that too at 1.25X speed. I mean I am not enjoying the show or seeing it from the critical eye that I typically see things from. I am merely seeing the rushes. The joy of watching a story unfold in front of my eyes has been sucked away. I am merely going thru the motions.

Lemme try and clear things that are sort of clouding my mind. Including work and non-work. And in no order.

  • Today marks the end of my one-month Keto subscription. I dont think I’ve lost weight. No, I don’t feel energetic. In fact, I am the same as I was a month ago. I probably chose the wrong supplier to save on money. Need to think of what to do with my meals from Monday onward. Weekend any way I am out.
  • The side effect of this vegetarian keto attempt is that I have started to hate paneer from the bottom of my heart. I’ve had enough paneer for the rest of my life. I have to either turn into a non-vegetarian or find a way to lose weight. I can’t work out, can’t lift weights 🙁
  • On the other hand, I can’t stop having the Egg Soup. I ordered it twice yesterday!
  • Need to stop with the coffee. No, I don’t enjoy coffee as much I love other beverages (like Coke). But the thing is, I dont like the idea of being a freeloader at a Starbucks. While I can shift to Green Tea or even Water to pay for the time I spend there, I feel criminal about paying so much for water. So I dont know the way out.
  • So yesterday, a friend sent me this video of a woman with She (by Elvis Costello) playing in the background. That video took my heart away! She took my heart away. I instantly knew I had to write about it. And, I am struggling to write my ode to it. I mean I started writing it yesterday and I am yet to find the right words. Breakthrough isn’t in sight. It was triggered by an Instagram post that a friend sent me.
  • Went for a walk. Met Ken. Talked about films and all. Spotted the sea.
  • Workwise, this week has been easy. One of the clients is literally silent. The other is chugging along. So more or less, things are ok there.
  • I got a new intern on board. Not sure if she will stay for long. But she’s on. It’s amazing how one client that pays you fairly allows you to expand where you are and what you do. I just need to be more prudent with my money and start saving more so that I can
  • On Friday, I am conducting the first paid session for NFG on Notetaking 101. I am not getting paid a lot but I am getting paid to speak and share what I know. Yay!
  • Life has come to a point where I have some money coming in. Enough for me to not think about where the next meal will come from. Enough to even pay back all the debt that I had loaded myself with. No, it’s still not smooth. It is at the tenterhooks. I lose one client and I am back to square one. But after at least 18 months or so, I am at that point where I am now thinking a lot more about the things I can do that take me closer to my goal of inspiring a billion people! I had thought Long Haul will be that. But it’s been really hard on that front. No one wants to trust me with their money. I a
  • Oh, while typing this, I decided that I will not buy a new iPhone. I will get this one fixed. I will spend another 8K but I will get this fixed. I want to save and get over the debt. The only money I will spend is on people and projects.
  • The most important. I had thought I will start with this. Lemme get this out of the bullets.

I have started to give away things that I’ve owned. Yesterday, I gave away the TV. I have also parted with the guitar that VG gifted me I don’t know how many years ago.

Now, I am left with a writing table, a bookshelf that has I don’t know how many books (and paper and notes and all that), a yoga mat, knick-knacks that I have gathered over the years, and some clothes. No, I don’t have a functioning kitchen. And computers (laptop – this and old, hard disk drives, pen drives, etc).

The idea is to dispose of everything and have just enough that can be carried in a laptop bag and a big hard-top lug. I don’t like duffels. I am ok to live with very few things and in this post-pandemic world, that should be the norm. I am just worried about all the notes that I’ve taken. I will probably digitize those? I don’t know yet. After I lost my phone data, I have stopped worrying about losing important things. The ephemerality of life is a lot more apparent and visible. Thank you, COVID-19 for that.

So yeah, the idea is that by end of this month (or may be the next), I would have disposed of all the things that I hate. The ones that I need to store (I’ll try that these are as few as possible), I will send those to Delhi, to my parent’s place. The rest, I will carry on me. Let’s see how it goes.

So yeah. All this.

Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 186
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 98
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0. I did not do it yesterday. Neither I did it today 🙁

160621 – Morning Pages

Quick post on things on the top of my head. Nothing interesting or important to be honest. You may skip this.

7:39. I couldn’t sleep last night. I think it was all the coffee I had during the day. Which was a lot to be honest. Blame it on all the time I spent at Starbucks yesterday. Which was a lot to be honest. But then I got a lot of work done as well. So, that’s nice. I am hoping that they’d allow longer working hours for cafes from this weekend onward. That means I will probably be able to spend more time at a Starbucks and get more done. Unless I have a lot of calls. The thing with calls at a Starbucks is, there’s way too much background noise. And anyway, people use it for recreation. Not to get things done. I am an anomaly. Anyhow.

The highlight of yesterday has to be that I did 12 rounds of Surya Namaskar. The day before I could manage only 8. So there is some improvement for sure. I want to be able to do 25 at least.

The thing is, doing 12 rounds is ok. The trouble is after those 12 rounds. The recovery after takes forever. In the sense, I need to catch my breath. I am on the verge of puking, so that needs calming down. The bladder gets full and that needs a release. The sweat is intolerable. It’s crazy! So I need that break. And this takes a good additional 20 mins away. And that in itself is a challenge. I hate to waste the time in the morning.

Did yoga. 12 rounds. Was not tough. But takes hell more than 18 mins. To recover after the yoga is done. Mornings are too precious for me. Need to start with skipping rope, resistance bands, and weights. Let’s see when.

I have to say that I can’t seem to stop having the Egg Soup from this restaurant called Fit Food Company. I am not sure how “fit” the food is but I just love it. And the croutons are out of this world. No, they are not the best but they’re really really addictive. Guess my love for crunch is never-ending. I mean love this so much that I actually am watching Fauda just to get company while I eat!

This is the reverse of how I was. I would watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine and order crap to order along. I was filling the void in my life with banter and random carbs. Here I am, loading myself with egg broth and croutons and a series about the Israeli-Palestine Conflict!


In other news, the number of open tabs on my browsers is now 143! I dont even know if I’d ever consume all these. One random day, the browser would crash and I would love all these, and then I would rant about it on the blog and then move on. Lol. Kaisa sa hoon main!

Oh, btw, I am back on Twitter. So in case you wish to follow me again, I am on @saurabh. I am not sure what I would do there or how I would change how I use Twitter, but I know that I need a release during the day and twitter works the best for me! I just need to avoid putting in a lot of time on it. One easy way is to not install the app (which I am doing as we speak :D). The difficult one is to continue to use Android on browser and the difficulty of typing on an Android phone will prevent me from using abusing twitter 😀


And finally, I have a decision to make. I am going out for the weekend and that means I have the option of leaving my computer behind. I am in two minds. If I take it, I know I will spend all the time on it. And not on thinking / reading etc. And if I don’t take it, I will break this 185-day streak that I am on! Both are important to me. I don’t know which one to choose. What do you think? Help me decide. Click on one of the options below…

And that’s about it for the day. See you guys tomorrow.

Here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 185
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 97
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 1 (Did 12 rounds yesterday)

150621 – iWant iPhone

A rant on how Android sucks, how I miss an office space, how I am unable to do yoga. And a couple of more things.

6:28. Woke up a few minutes ago.

I went for a walk last night for an hour or so. I took along the Vivo phone I use and I realized how much I miss an iPhone and what all would I do to get one! I mean I want to really get one.

This Android system is not for me. Not just the bloatware that comes preinstalled but also the speed at which it works. Plus I am so used to the iOS ecosystem of apps that I am literally struggling half the time to get things done. I still don’t know how to “quit” an app that’s running. The other day I had to hunt for where the alarm is. Then I have no clue how to abort all those “system” apps that keep running in the background that hog limited memory that the phone has. I don’t have a pedometer and the external app I installed (the one that is the highest-rated) has so many bugs and ads that it’s impossible to use. Plus, each time I install or uninstall an app, I get a notification about a “recommendation” to install another app. It sucks. Literally. Everyone that goes gaga over Android and its “flexibility” and “openness” clearly is blind to these. Or may be these are not issues in the first place. Maybe it’s my quirks that I need to get over. I mean I do get that the cheaper Andoird OS has given immense power to people with a computer in their hands. The impact has been literally world-changing. But then, it is not for me. I am happy in the closed, restricted, expensive, slick and at least for me, convenient iOS.

I just have to get an iPhone. ASAP. I have to get another client soon to be able to get one. That’s the goal for this month. Wish me luck.

Funny that all through my hour-long walk last night, I kept thinking about how I will write about how much an Andoird based phone sucks but when I started writing, I could only manage a handful of words!

Anyhow. Moving on.

Today’s my parent’s anniversary. They complete 40 years together (or 41, not sure). I will never understand their generation. I am the kind to not have completed 4 years with any of my significant others. And here they are. At 40 years. Wow!

I think I know what the “secret” sauce here is. And I know that I can’t comprehend the way they lived their lives, in the times they lived. But what I know is that togetherness for all those years is remarkable.

I pine for long-term relationships in everything – work, friendships, speech etc. And here I have. A live example in my very home. Heck, I am an outcome of that. Whatever I stand for, what I do, whatever I think of, all of it is the outcome of that union all those years ago!

Yoga. In other news, I did attempt Surya Namaskar yesterday, right after I published the morning pages. I could do just 8 rounds. And that too was a pain. I had to stop after 3. I took a break after the 6th. And I gave up after the 8th. I am that out of practice. At a point, I could do 12 and I was thinking of 20. But here I am. Out of breath and will at 8. ! Oh, that’s the other thing I decided yesterday when I was out for a walk. That come hell or high water, I will do yoga on a daily basis. I will carve out time for yoga, the way I do for these morning pages. The way morning pages builds my writing muscle, the daily practice of yoga will hopefully build my health muscle. All I need is 20 minutes. I don’t think I can’t find 20 minutes.

Next. Work. Lately, I’ve realized that whatever work I do before 6 is what I end my day with (unless I have a place to work out from, Starbucks, office, co-work, or something). The lure of bed is irresistible to me. I see one and I want to lie down. This is the reason I don’t even get into my bedroom at all and spread a mattress each night on the floor of the hall. And then I roll it back each night. Of course, it’s a different matter that the AC in the bedroom doesn’t work at all; the one in the hall at least throws air.

I digressed. The point I was trying to make was, I am literally unable to focus on work post 7 most days. And that’s how it would be till I get Starbucks open for longer hours. Or I get myself a seat at a coworking. The point (finally, I came to the point!) is, I will try to pack in more work during these hours.

That.

I think this is it for the day. Oh, I did meet Prak yesterday after almost 2 years. We can’t wait to start PPP all over again. With renewed vigor and energy and ideas and things. Let’s see where we go. Wish us luck 🙂

Chalo, time for those Surya Namaskars. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 184
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 96
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

140621 – Morning Pages

I talk about how the weekend was. And about Panchgani, Starbucks and Fitness in a disjointed rant.

7:03. Woke up a bit ago. Feel ok. Not great. But not bad either. I guess the magic is in staying away from the phone at night. Chalo, let’s get on with the day and the post.

Monday’s are typically busy where I take stock of things that I am working on and all that. While I do that offline (on Asana and Roam and other places), lemme start with a short review of things that I had thought I would do on the weekend.

So the weekend came and went and I did far far less than what I had imagined I would do. Quick report card…

  1. Write content to help Sonali and her Art in Action project – ❌
  2. Submit the Airbnb Live Anywhere application – ✔️
  3. SoG Book. It’s the cornerstone project for Jun 2021. – ⁉️
  4. Shortlist and finalize writers for The Podium‘s foray into content – ❌
  5. Make progress on Write Your First Novel course. Worth two weeks. – ❌
  6. Approach more people for Long Haul Ventures. This includes all the bade log I know that I send quarterly updates to. – ⁉️
  7. Get back on Twitter – ❌

Very dismal performance. At this rate, the greatness I chase will remain a distant dream 🙁

With that tight slap, let’s talk about things that I am otherwise thinking about.

➡️A. Overdependence on Starbucks
The poor performance over the weekend? I want to blame it on my dependence on Starbucks. I mean I had planned to park myself there and work till I was tired and all that. And I know I would’ve done that. I don’t have a bed there. The AC works. The internet works. There are people around that I can feed on the energy of.

Now, if suddenly the place is no longer available and I am forced to contain myself in a shitty house overcrowded with old furniture and lousy vibes, it should not mean that I can’t function.

How can my work, my output, my life be at the mercy of a Starbucks outlet?

Plus, during the lockdown, I did work. I did deliver things. I did ensure that I do my job. All without a Starbucks. Now that I have an option, how is it that I am losing track of things? Just because I have an option, I am in that shitty space!

Optionality is a bitch!

➡️B. Panchgani
This weekend, if all goes well, I will be in Panchgani. I plan to not take my laptop. I want to also not take my phone to be honest but I dont think that would be possible. Let’s see.

Panchgani is one of those places that I have come to love over the years. When I first went there (don’t remember when – must be in 2007 or 2008 or something), it was a tiny town that I don’t think anyone went to. I mean all the rich people from Mumbai and Pune and Nashik had the twin towns of Panchgani and Mahabaleshwar as their holiday and retirement homes. But that was that. It was limited to the rich ones. And the ones that were natively from there.

To me, when I went there, it meant little more than an escape from the boring routines at Mumbai. It was the same to me what Fiji was for Truman. A place so distant, so impossible that it was a mere speck on the map. It represented the ultimate freedom, the ultimate escape. Not that life in Mumbai was that bad. I was still young, still hopeful about life, still enjoyed the grind. And yet Panchgani was that break that I would take from the rigmarole of life.

I would’ve made countless trips to Panchgani and on each trip, I’d get enamored by the small-town life of simplicity, community, and nature. I’d want to start living there. But then at the end of each trip, when I’d come back, I’d forget the simplicity in like 10 seconds. That fickle I have been.

From the first trip on, the relationship evolved. It became a Fiji. A place that I would pine to be at. A place where I’d want to get teleported each time I had a bad day.

And now, as I write this, I realise it’s no longer that. It’s yet another tourist destination that I goto, to take breaks. Like this one on the coming weekend.

So that.

➡️C. Fitness
My keto subscription is coming to an end this weekend. No. I did not lose any weight. No, I do not feel energized. And I have not stopped craving for Maggi, Dosa, Fried Rice, and all that.

I dont think I will continue. I do have the money to get it but I think I will skip. I will get someone to make food and deliver. And I will try to get back to OMAD. That’s the only thing that I think works in my case.

I’ve also stayed off Yoga since the second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. I think I will get back today. It’s 7:55 and I need to meet Prak at 9ish at Starbucks. So, I do have the time. It’s the inclination and intent that is often missing.


Guess this is about it for the day. Need to get going. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 183
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 95. I am gonna have some coke on this weekend’s trip to Panchgani. Yeah, this weekend I am traveling!
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

130621 – Morning Pages

A short post that was such a struggle to write that I almost did not publish.

8:13. Woke up some 10 minutes ago. I am a little less groggy today compared to other days. The only thing I changed is that I went for an hour-long walk last night, I ate less and I kept the phone out of my arms reach when I decided to sleep. I will try to repeat these three and see where I land.

So, after the snafu yesterday, I am little more informed and thus I am firmly seated on a plastic chair and a wooden desk as I write this. I will probably go for a walk after I have sent this out and replied to a few emails.

The list of things I made that I had to work on, I made some start with some of those things. I’d say I was ok with the progress made. I could’ve done more but considering I was at the house, I think I did ok. Trying not to be harsh on myself. I need to close those today.

Creating connections and raising capital for Long Haul remains a challenge. I know it’s a long road and I need to tread on it a step at a time. It is tough. But it is also helping me do more than what I’ve done so far. So that’s cool. Just that it sucks that I dont have a runaway success to prove my mettle.

Also, made me realize, if, despite all that I have done, I am finding it tough to make connections, what about young ones that don’t have even what I have? They must feel the pinch so bad that they probably would want to give up!

So that.

Coming to the things that I have in store for today.

Wait. Lemme talk about a new culinary delight I have discovered. I have taken in a liking for egg soup. In fact, I think I will like all clear soups – you know, wonton and all those. No, I am not qualified to talk about food but I am hooked to egg soup. I’ve had it some 10 times in the last one week. One day I had it for all three meals! And croutons – uff!

So things for today.

I dont know to be honest. Just the list from yesterday. And maybe some more. Dont know what else to write. Guess this is about it for today.

Wait. This is all of 400 words. I think I will get on with other work and come back to this in a bit and see if I want to write more.

Back at 9:12

Let’s use bullets.

A. So, I re-activated the anonymous feedback form that I use to gather feedback on how I am doing. It is here. In case. I get impolite feedback all the time and I try to work on those. Here’s one I recently got – “Why are YOU your only topic of discussion. Always. Self-obsession.” and “Develop interests in matters other than yourself. Talk about some things that people like to talk about. Don’t always walk only about yourself.” I am taking the input and as I get along with SoG, I will try to write more about more things that are of wider interest. On the blog, however, I will have to continue to write about myself. After all, this is MY blog where I get to rant 😀

B. The law of numbers. Must talk about this at some point in time in life. I’ve learnt that most things in life, including luck, are a direct outcome of the number of shots you take. If you are good, you will land 1 in 10. If you are great, you will land 2. But if you are like me, average, you would need to take 100 shots before 1 of them hits. And when it does, you better deliver the best you can so that next time, along with the shots you are taking, this delivery of a thing aids you get more opportunity.

I learnt this while trying to build a network of LP’s for Long Haul.

So that.

C. I am learning that I dont like people putting unnecessary pressure on me. The world needs to be polite, kind, easygoing and all that. I know that you need to chase things and follow up and all that. But all those could happen with some degree of humanness, if nothing else.

Ok. Enough. I cant force myself to write more. Guess I will take a break and come back tomorrow with a better piece.

With this, it’s over and out. Here’s streaks.

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 182
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 94
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0