171021 – Morning Pages

A Morning Pages from a Starbucks after a while. I think I got the mojo back just because I am here. Read on and find out!

8:39 AM. Starbucks. Somewhere in Gurgaon. 🙂

Just the thought that I am at a Starbucks makes me happy! The typing is faster and my mood is generally better. Yay! Having access to a public place to kickstart my mornings is THAT important to me. And since I know it now, I must do whatever it takes to create a routine, a life that ensures that I get my mornings to myself. #note2self

So I am in Gurgoan for the next few days. Let’s see how it is. So far, to be honest, I like it. I never imagined I would. To me, it was a concrete jungle without a soul. I was wrong. Even if I dont have any people around, I like it. For some reason. Probably, the novelty of a new city, the experience of new places and the wonder of a different culture (while we are in India, Gurgoan is distinct from Delhi, which is distinct from Mumbai) is alluring? Let’s see if this stays with me after a few days.

What could also be helping this cheery mood is that I am sleeping in hotels. Something that I love so much that I want to build a life where I literally live in a hotel. You know, a serviced apartment. The good part is that I am ready for it. In the sense, I dont have any material things (things like photos of loved ones, things that you gather from your travels across the world, memorabilia, books, white goods, and other such things) that I want to stock the place I live at with. Except for a toothbrush and toiletries. So that.

Also, since I am here (Delhi / Gurgoan) for an extended time, I am meeting all the friends, mentors, and others that I have not met in a while. And I am loving it. If I had my way, I would merely meet people, talk, and imagine what the world could be.

I must write about meeting Vijesh. Each time I meet him, he makes me think deeply about where I am in life and what I want from life. He always challenges me to think beyond what I am capable of. And he leaves me with questions that I continue to ponder upon long after I am done with meeting him. This time around as well he has asked me a few things that I am left thinking about. I need to find answers. Let’s see when I do that. Maybe around Diwali when there’s nothing else to do?

Guess this is it for the day. Today as well, I plan to meet some people and then sleep at a hotel. In case you are around Gurgaon, lemme know. Am here till Tuesday night for sure.

Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :). Probably because I am at a Starbucks and typing away to glory ;P
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. Literally 0. I am still distracted. I need to find a solution to this.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. The world I live in gives me the opportunities to find places like Starbucks that I can sit at and write.
    2. The life I have created allows me to live by myself when I feel the need to. And yet it allows me to find connections whne I need to.
    3. I have people like Vijesh that I can bank on, when I need counsel. Even when I dont need counsel, I can reach out and chat about life and all.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. Again, work. I need to finish all that is pending. Or else Monday would come crashing down on me. And I would hate that!
    2. If I could get some unexpected meetings, it would be a nice surprise and it would be great!
  5. A daily affirmation. I can be super productive when I want to be and I can do all that I am supposed to.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. Met Vijesh. This is the third time I am putting his name here 😀
    2. Got some work done. Again, work is such a large part of how I live my life.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I think it was as close to a perfect day as any. Maybe I could’ve ended it with a dinner with someone from opposite gender?
    2. I would have liked to have better sleep than what I had yesterday.
    3. If I could eat better, nothing like it!
  8. Quote for the day
    “Want to get lucky? Take more shots.”. Thanks to Harshit for sharing this.

And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0. Had 4!
  • #noCoffee – 0. Had I dont know how many.
  • #aPicADay – 10. Today’s. Yesterday’s
  • Daily Journal – 10
  • Money spent – 3031
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 10
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 10

121021 – Morning Pages

Quick post on how I spent yesterday. And a rant on how I could have done better.

7:12. Some hotel in Gurgaon. I had stayed overnight.

So, the number of times I have come to Gurgaon this trip, I could have rented a place here to live and save money on travel, hotel etc. Ya, I refuse to stay with friends and spend money on hotels. Actually, I like the idea of being by myself, with some me time and experience the convenience offered by a hotel. Like right now, I am in a hotel room, darkness around me, sitting on a lounger, feet perched on a table and writing away to glory. I would love to control things like this. Just that I would love to get more time for self.

Yesterday was adventuous, to say the least. I did some work. I couldnt attend a couple of meetings that I had planned. I couldnt deliver on a few things that I had promised to people – including a chat with a someone I could potentially do a startup with. I am not managing my time well at all. And the worse part is that I am not just whiling my time on day dreaming or something. I am just stuck. If I were day dreaming, I would be happy. But I was not. So that.

The highlight of the day was a dinner with a friend at this place in Gurgaon where they had live music. Even though I had to wear shoes, I realised how much I love muted lights, great service and live music. Especially with tracks that I can sing along to. The band that I was with yesterday played the rom-com tracks that I love so much. Their selection was right out of my playlist. I couldnt have requested for more tracks to be honest. Plus the band played really well. I wish I could take them home :D. Plus, while I was there, I realised I like the idea of spending money and availing experiences and comforts with the money. The entire EBC trip was that. Money is such an important part of life and I seem to be chasing it like a mad man and I dont know the way out 🙁

Anyhow. Guess this is it in terms of how I spent my day yesterday. I can write more but must take a pause and get going.

So, here’s the journal…

  1. Emoticon: :). I am loving that I am at by myself at a hotel room. I think I must find a way to live at a serviced apartment / hotel in life.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1. Need to really amp this up.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I am able to afford semi-decent places to stay back should I get late at some place. I need to find a way to not even think multiple times about booking a place. Let’s see when I reach that point.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. There are a lot of things open since I started work after the EBC trip. If I can complete a few of those, I would be happy and the day would be great!
    2. Yesterday, even though I was in Gurgoan, I could not meet people. Today it looks tough as well. I need to be able to find a way to juggle time and be more meticulous about how I spend my time. If I can manage that, it would be a great day.
  5. A daily affirmation
    I control my time and I can say no to things that would be time syncs. And say yes to things that I think would help me live better and grow in the times to come.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. Met a friend for dinner.
    2. Got to stay at a hotel overnight. I love it when I get to stay. Maybe I like the idea of being on the move all the time?
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I could’ve managed time better and been little more assertive, it would’ve been better.
  8. Quote for the day
    From Shravan Kumar – “Home is behind and the world ahead”. Apparently, this is the title of a film. Not sure of that. But on first thoughts, this is a lot more than a film. I mean this is everything that I sort of stood for in life and to see a line express my thoughts like that is brilliant!

And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0. Had 2.
  • #noCoffee – 0. Sipping onto coffee as we speak.
  • #aPicADay – 5. Here is today’s.
  • Daily Journal – 5
  • Money spent – Tracked. Will start cataloging soon.
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 5
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1. I am retaining this from last time around.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 6

101021 – Morning Pages

A long, rambling post from how I spent yesterday. A couple of interesting incidents and some revelations.

6:36. Home.

Had an eventful day yesterday. I had decided to meet a senior at CP and then sit at a Starbucks and deliver on things. And while I was there, I was called to Gurgoan for a meeting. And once I reached Gurgaon, everything was literally thrown out of gear. But that’s ok. That’s how life is. It has a mind and a schedule and a plan of its own.

But then, in Gurgaon, I met my old colleagues, a lockdown friend, bumped into an ex-colleague, browsed through a bookstore, had a leisurely walk while I gave gyaan on writing to a friend! It was a great day, to be honest. I mean I did not do anything that I had planned but it was nice the way it panned out.

While meeting my old colleagues, I realized how much I love the events business. Plus the guys I used to work with, I love them. They are as hardworking as they come and all they do is work. I realize why and how I have the ethos I have. Thanks, Anna, Suvi, Solo!

Went again to Museo. Every time I go there, I am inspired. Must must create a place like that. #lifeGoal

When I was at a Starbucks (in the Galleria market), I bumped into an ex-colleague at a Starbucks. I was trying to work from there and she was passing by. Credits to her that she recognized me and got talking. I love how a place like Starbucks inspires these serendipitous connections.

Oh, the reason I had stepped out of home? To meet another senior from MDI? That was brilliant. The guy I met (Shankar Nath) had so so so so much clarity about what he wants in life. I was envious and inspired at the same time. In one line, he said he does not care about money, fame, brands, reputation, or any such construct that people like me care for. He said he lives his life with a stress-minimization theory. Anything he does, if it adds stress to his life, he does not do. For example, he refuses to do things that make him stressed. On the other hand, my entire life is built around adding more and more stress! Something to ponder upon. I mean I may not blatantly copy what he did. It’s his trip. Mine is clearly different. The only negative out of that meeting is that I ended up having two Diet Cokes and fried food. No, I am not helping matters here.

Oh, I have to write that it’s a bitch to find a cab in Delhi / Gurgaon / Noida. The cabbies, irrespective of Ola or Uber would not go to where you would want to. They want to be paid in cash. They dont want to cross borders. They want to drive through the longest route and fleece. Public transport is anyway fucked up. So that.

In bright things, I got myself a bright new Red iPhone 11. I had wanted to buy a newer version but this is all I can afford right now. And it’s ok. Acche din aaenge. The thing is, I will experiment with two phones for the next few days. One with essential apps (WhatsApp, email, etc). And the other with things I use to kill time (Twitter etc.). Let’s see how that experiment goes.

In the brightest things department, I ended the day by talking to people from #teamSG. I love their energy and ideas and ambitions and aspirations and how they are the damn future. I am grateful that I am playing a tiny part in their future. I really feel responsible for their career and future and all that. I hope I can do justice to my interactions with them.

The last piece that I want to write and catalog is something that #Maa told me. Can’t put it here. It would go on #sgEchochamber.

Guess this is it for the day. Here’s the journal…

  1. Emoticon: :|.
    Same as yesterday. Indiffernet. Little tired. I had way too much coffee, coke and green tea yesterday and thus I did not sleep well. I wont be able to sleep today either – I have a lot to work on.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 1.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. There are enough and more people that I can lean on when I need to.
    2. The world throws opportunites at me when I am in soup. Like right now, I need work and yesterday I got at least one distinct opportunty that I could work on to make ends meet.
    3. ?
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. If I can finish all the things that I have planned to work on (the ones I am slacking on since Friday) it would be great. This includes the letter to bade log as well. This is it. My happiness is so much dependent on my work that it’s not funny.
  5. A daily affirmation
    I am gifted enough to be able to juggle multiple things and deliver on multiple projects at the same time. Another one. When I need, opportunites come to me by themselves!
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? A lot!
    1. Met my old colleagues and boss at Gravity Entertainment. Gravity is where I literally learnt about the world by travelling and executing events across the world. I would love to be with them (or create a company like that) if I had more freedom and more control.
    2. Got a new iPhone. I dont feel any special to be honest. Just that the new device is not broken from all corners.
    3. Had a brief call with #teamSG. It was amaze to catch up with them. I like the idea of having people that I care for. And the ones that care for me.
    4. Met Shankar for lunch.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I shouldnt have had coke when I met Shankar.
    2. I shouldve shipped the letter, at least. And I should’ve made some headway onto the work that’s piled on my plate. It looks tough today as well as I need to first finish things at work.
    3. ?
  8. Quote for the day
    “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.” – Anon

And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – 3. Here is today’s.
  • Daily Journal – 3
  • Money spent – Again, did not track.
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 3
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1. I am retaining this from last time around.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 4

150921 – Morning Pages

A quick post from a hotel room about, well, hotels, people, self, friends and more.

8:30. Gurgaon. Probably my second last morning page till I leave for my trek. Yesterday was pretty interesting as well. I met a few people, including some that I had not met in a while. And then I met newish friends as well. And then I was at new places, new cafes. I think I am warming up to Gurgaon. And I suspect I would end up liking it more than Delhi. But then, lemme know get ahead of myself. There’s no place like Mumbai. Or Goa. And these urban jungles like Gurgaon are great for a few days. Living and working is a whole new ballgame.

Anyhow. So, quite a few things happened yesterday that I need to capture here. I dont have the time to get into minute details and write a longish thing but lemme capture the highlights and then maybe at a later date, will write something, if I feel like it.

A. Mutiny in TeamSG. There is this bunch of young people I mentor and I want them to become best friends with each other and together do more. They’ve been doing it together for a while now and I sort of not interfere a lot in their life etc. However, I got to know that they are not really happy and I had to intervene and get them to talk to each other and see the light.

But that’s not the point. The point is, when I was talking to them, I realized that I wanted to do EXACTLY that. Mentor kids. Help resolve their issues. Get them to be better. So yeah!

B. I stayed overnight at a fancy hotel. This is after a while that I am in a fancy hotel. In Ahmedabad, it was business, 3-star. Yesterday was an Oyo that I paid 700 for. So when I checked in last night, multiple things happened. I had to record these.

  • I missed Kila. And Paras. And all the events crew that I have sort of lived and worked with. Damn I miss that life where I would travel all the time and move around and get things done. I dont know if I was creating anything of tangible or sustainable value but I loved to be on the move.
  • It felt good that I can be at places that offer me comfort, privacy, space, luxury, convinience, respect (even if its fake). Like I said, it’s after a while. And I know most of this is a transaction, it is still a thing that I cherish.
  • While hotels are the most impoesonal places, I love that the fancy ones dont judge you. I can walk in with the most shitty clothes and no one would bother me. I could be in chappels (see point C below) and they would not judge me.
  • The showers btw are the best thing ever. If I had my way, I would spend all my time in hotel showers.
  • Some people love the breakfat spread. I am not that big a fan to be honest. But once in a while I like the idea of picking from whatever is around me.

C. In Gurgaon, I dont know why but fancy places have this hangup of not allowing people with chappals inside. I mean why do I need to wear shoes to go eat out with friends? Or even by myself! I think I will start a movement to blacklist places that dont allow you in when you are in chappals. #parkedIdeas

D. At another place where I was stopped for wearing chappals, I was so raged that the Delhi boy in me sort of came out rushing. I had to get access. I had to show off that I know some people that can help me get in. I had to sort of be that person that no one can stop.

E. A newish friend told me a few things that I am taking note of. Here they are…

  • I probably do more for people, even at the cost of my harm. I need to stop doing that. Will think and see.
  • When I was talking, I could see so many instances where I was sort of made a fool out of, continue to be made a fool and yet I am around. I need to probably cut those people and things out. It is hard – afterall you have invested your life and energy and time into those relationships and projects but remember, wear your seatbelt before you help others! Even Kabir said “main bhi bhookha na rahu” before he went to “sadhu”.
  • I need to stop being so self-obsessed. This is something that I have heard from a lot of people. Do I need to work on this.

F. The Apple event yesterday? EVERYone I know is talking about it. Everyone is raving about the ads and the presentation and the event and all that. I will probably watch it on the flight to Kathmandu. I love love love people that do things well. So that.

Guess this is about it for the day. I want to write more. But work beckons. More later. Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 188
  • #noCoffee – 32
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 15630
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1 (buying things for once in a life adventures)
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 278
  • NOFAP – 14. Wow. Two weeks!

130921 – Morning Pages

A note from the land of thekas and perpetual construction!

8:43. This one comes to you from a Starbucks in Gurgaon. Took me almost two hours to reach here. Had to meet a couple of people and anyway what else would I do at home. I am even hoping to stay back the night and meet more people if I can.

There is this funny feeling when I am in Gurgaon. I see these tall, swanky buildings and people dressed in their official best and making merry after their office hours at those fancy places to dine out. It’s a world that I want to belong to but I am unable to relate to. A lot of people I know can only navigate life in such worlds and would probably be lost at a place like Mumbai, where I have decided to live life has decided to make me call home. Actually, I can’t really call Mumbai home. There’s nothing that I look forward to. The only thing that Mumbai offers me that no other city offers me is the freedom and convenience to move around. And in a way, I want to. I mean I am almost always the worst dressed person around. And in Mumbai, it’s cool. At Gurgaon, I get stares when I walk around. Today I am dressed in my best shirt and a pair of jeans. And yet I am being stared at. Probably it’s the chappal.

Reminds me. I have less than a week now to go and I am still not wearing shoes. And to top it off, I went and bought a pair of hiking sandals for myself. My plan is to wear those as far as I can. And wear shoes only and if only I need to.

In other news, I have started to think about where life would take me from here on. For a change, I have started to get serious. In the sense, I was in the zone where I was steadfast in my decision to stay independent. Where I try to find work that gives me the freedom to move around, live anywhere, and do multiple things. But this trip to Delhi has changed a few things. For starters, I now need to up my ante as a son. My parents need me. And they need the money. With my lifestyle, money has always been a challenge. I was ok to live life as and when and I have upgraded and downgraded my lifestyle a few times already. But now, I think I need some sort of stability. More than for myself, for my folks. They have only given me. I owe them this much. Even if that means I need to put my life and my aspirations at stake. In an ideal world, I would make both things work – get something that allows me the freedom, and them the comfort that money can bring. No, I often dont talk about these things in public but well, live in public!

Ok. Moving on from somber things.

I am still undecided about working from Nepal. On one side, it would offer an opportunity to work from a new place and understand a new place. The stint in Goa was very very useful. I made a few connections and learned a lot. If I could work from Nepal for a few days, it would be very enriching. In arguments against working from Nepal, the challenge would be to find a place that allows me to make phone calls in peace and a comfortable enough bed to crash on. BTW, my definition of comfort is fairly evolved and most people I know will probably not understand it. More on this some other day.

What else? Guess this is about it. I am in that place where I know that I have a 3-week break coming up. In less than a week. And that means I can’t initiate any new projects. And there’s no time per se to even push things on exiting projects. Weird kind of place to be in, to be honest.

But I guess, as they say, this too shall pass!

And before I end this, here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 186
  • #noCoffee – 30
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 2560
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1 (buying things for once in a life adventures)
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 276
  • NOFAP – 12