130721 – Morning Pages

Quick update from how I spent yesterday. Some thoughts about my relationship with food. And then some about work.

8:24. Starbucks. I slept late. Not late really. At around 1. Had a lot of work and I decided that I will finish all that and then sleep. Of course, I couldn’t finish. But I still got late. Lol, adulting!

And then I got late in waking up. And then it was raining (oh, I love it!). And then I had to start the day and work and all that. So. Here I am at Starbucks. Must put on paper that despite my thing about working, I did not get myself a coffee. Pat on the back, Mr. Garg!

But then, I did eat a lot. I think it was stress eating more than anything else. I was not hungry. I did not even feel like eating. I was just stressed about work. So I ate.

In fact, lemme delve into this. I think there has to be a connection between growing up with scarcity and trying to eat like a mad man. I know this is anecdotal evidence at best (with a sample size of 1) but at least in my case, every time my system spots a scary thing (missed deadline, failure at something, knowing that the day’s gonna go to shit, etc), I tend to want to eat. Mind you, I don’t get hungry. I don’t get hunger pangs. I don’t get cravings. But for some reason, I want to stuff myself. As much as I can. Even though I know that after I eat, I will probably slouch and the thing that is scaring me, I will be less equipped to handle that. And yet I want to eat! I think it’s the body’s reaction that may be a famine is coming and it must load up on whatever it can get. I am not sure though.

So that.

Moving on. The day was a busy one. The highlight has to be a meeting with NT for the Aram Nagar documentary. I’ve known him for a while and this was the first time I met him. Even though this was an online meeting, he was candid, open, honest, and upfront about what he thought about it. The world needs more people like him. I am glad I know him.

For today, while I have a lot to work on, I am thinking I will spend the bulk of the time on just three things. No, I dont want to write those here (confidentiality and all that) but I have taken those notes, and let’s see how it goes. If I can deliver on these three things, a large part of the stress will get managed.

Lemme talk of work. Which I often dont talk about.

So on the work front, I do a few things. I write (yeah, I get paid to write). I think (marketing, strategy, etc). And I manage (people, things, etc). I am brilliant when it comes to writing. I am very good at thinking. I am terrible at managing. In the sense that I dont know what it takes to inspire others. So most of my time is spent juggling these things. Plus, I refuse to take up full-time engagements. This means that I need to be always on the lookout for new work, new connections, new things, new ideas, etc. And that also fills a large part of my time. And then I am the lesser half at a few other things. Not that I spend a lot of time there but it does take away attention. And thus, I am perpetually short of time. No, I am not bad at managing time. I think I am very good, to be honest. Just that I have filled my 24 hours (and head) with things that require 48 hours. You know, am trying to be a multipotentialite. Lol.

Of course am not. And thus I am failing at it. And thus I need to get my act together. And thus focus on a few things at a time. And thus the idea of doing just three things today.

Let’s see how it goes. Wish me luck.

Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 124
  • #noCoffee – 13
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 1. I will see if I can do this during the day to keep the streak alive.
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 214

281220 – Morning Pages

Today I talk about the best burger place in Goa (that I frequent often), a new project in Goa, and a few things from here and there.

719 AM.

I am up before the sun! Even though I slept late.

Yay! That’s an achievement! Now to fix the food. And add a workout. And I am sorted.

Food is also more or less sorted. I have talked Nicky (of NikcyM’s Kitchen fame) into whipping lo-carb meals for me, even though they are known for their burgers. Going by the hearsay that they are emerging as the favorite burger place of Goa – for both locals and tourists alike!

In exchange, I’ve become a handyman at his cafe.

Here’s a plug. If you like burgers, you HAVE to visit them. If you like your food served with warmth, you HAVE to visit them. If you like to eat with people that respect you for more than being just a customer, Nicky’s it is. Oh, and when you go there, say you are my friend and I promise he would extend a 10% discount.

Lemme indulge further about Nicky M’s. The first day I landed in Goa, Nupura took me to Nicky’s for a drink. At the time I was tired from a long flight and longer stay in Delhi and I was not in a chatty mood and I was not very impressed by the small, cozy seating. But once I sat down to eat, I was amazed at the flavors on my tongue. The buns and the patties are probably similar to other places but the sauces and the cooking was what probably made the burger I had special. It was just right, even for someone like who could be discerning af. I was hooked and I don’t think there’s been a day when I haven’t gone to them!

I did not know that I would become a regular. The couple that runs the place, Jui and Nicky, are so so hospitable. Not saying this because they feed me but because they genuinely care. This is how small businesses ought to be. I think I can call them friends.

Moving on.

So my first project is here. I call it Shumbur – 100 stories from Goa.

I plan to write about the 100 most interesting people I can meet that call Goa home. These may be from Goa originally or may have adopted Goa as their home but they have to be here. And they have to be adding to the state – you know, creating employment, adding value, keeping Goa on how it’s ought to be.

This may not evolve into THE most definitive list per se. But I shall try. I mean I only have access to those people that choose to respond to my DMs or follow-ups. So far I have sent these to some 10 people and not one has replied. Which is ok. I cant keep getting ignored.

This may take more than 2 years to do (even if I do one story a week, I will need two years) but I think it would be interesting.

I think more than anything else, it would help me with book2. So let’s see.

Ok. I got digressed. The laptop ran out of battery. And when I powered it up, I made the mistake of logging onto WA. That took away some time.

So the next thing I want to talk about is… I don’t know.

Damn, I lost the flow. The lesson is that always ensure that the laptop has enough juice. I am anyway hoping to get a new laptop as soon as Croma gets the M1 Air in stock. I have some points that I want to use.

Ok I know.

So lately I have been away from Twitter. In case you don’t follow me, I am @saurabh. I mean I do tweet out things but I am spending considerably lesser time on it. And I need to change that. No, I don’t want to spam the world there but I need to get active. The kind of connections you make there and the kind of access that opens us there is unparalleled. And I know I can add value and contribute and help others grow. While I grow myself. That’s how life ought to be.

So when I get active, I need to identify what I want to stand for. The thing is, for someone like me, an aspiring polymath, it is tough to get siloed into one. Plus every time I choose one thing, I fear that I will miss out on all the things that I am NOT choosing. You know, if I talk about films, I will miss out on books. If I talk of books, I will miss being a marketer. If I focus on that, I will get away from startup ideas. If I don’t proactively think of a unicorn-able idea, I would not be able to create a large impact in the world. If I don’t create a large impact, I would die unfulfilled. If I die unfulfilled, what’s the point of living this life and knowing all that I know and chasing all that I want to know?

I mean I can live like an “influencer” that lives in a bubble (I hope Daku doesn’t cringe at this) and post pictures of the mountains in the distance, the breakfast on the table, the biggini shoots, the parties, unpacking of gifts that “brands” send me and so on and so forth. That life is not bad either. Like I keep saying, being an influencer is not a bad idea. I wish I had the flair to be one! Of course, if you are Daku, you do none of the above and silently add value to your community, like he does. Or what I tried with SoG.

Ok, back at serious matters at hand.

I need to get active on Twitter. And before that, I need to identify what I want to stand for in life. The generic, all-purpose, please-all, ice-cream-like positioning won’t work.

Ideas anyone?


PS: So I have had Krishna and Prad give me feedback on all that I’ve been writing. Thanks, guys. While I don’t talk about your inputs here, I do add those to my Roam and think and plan to act on those.

PPS: Every time I publish these morning pages, I send these to a few friends on WhatsApp. In case you want to be added to the broadcast list, lemme know.

Tweets vs Blogposts

Even when we are in 2020, why do I prefer blogging over tweets? As a creator, as a learner and as someone that wants to grow!

Hola! 

If you are a longtime reader of this blog (or blogs in general), you would know how blogging as a hobby has been sort of replaced by things like Instagram, tweets, and so on and so forth. Both in general and for me. And how blogging is now a lot more “content marketing” where companies pay peanuts to desk monkeys to churn out words that trap those search engine spiders logs. And how the “content” that is created does not really do anything good to any reader, even if they may want to read about that topic. And how there is so much content that it’s impossible to filter noise and signal; assuming you know what is signal for you! And how long-form writing by non-writers is dying a slow death? 

It’s sad that so many people sharing so many deeply personal anecdotes with so many strangers is all gone. I mean it’s now moved to Twitter and Instagram and all that. But I am not sure how many people are blessed with the talent to push their thoughts in mere 280 characters (or maybe 2200 for Insta). I, at least cant. Not that gifted. May be if I work hard on writing, I may learn the art of brevity? 

And this is why I have kept the blog alive. And this is why I love the idea of writing letters (come, be my pen pal?). And this is why I like the idea of journaling, diary entries, notes, etc. 

The thing is, a blog allows me to push my unfiltered thoughts, things I am thinking on, things I am working on, things I seek opinion on. And put those somewhere on the world wild web. For others to see and respond to and allow me to think better.

I miss those times when I’d be brimming with ideas about the blog posts that I’d want to write. I’d have a draft folder thicker than all the 7-8 Harry Potter books combined. And I’d look forward to publishing posts and wait with bated breath for that one rare comment that I would get once in a month or two. It was another level of exhilaration. Something that the Twitter generation would never know – after all, tweets are far faster to engage with 🙂

Anyhow. 

So, today, I am thinking about where do I want my content to go (this is what I’d do with my blog – write write write till I get tired; vomit out all my ideas, thoughts here; and since the blog is in the public domain, I’d try harder to put forth better arguments; and by the time I was done writing, I’d have some sort of clarity). Here is my attempt to think with my words. 

And, with that, here we go. In no order… 

1. Individual as a Media Company

In the times to come, unless you are a media company (even as an individual), you’d lose out. As a business, as an individual, as even a rock or a vegetable. Stories, media, content would help you stay relevant. 

You thus have to think like a media company and churn out content that is valuable and interesting and all that. 

2. 1000 True Fans

The entire idea of 1000 True Fans would be far far more relevant in the times to come. Creators (a word I used when I applied for Gumroad’s gig for customer service) would live lives that they want and will rely on patrons to support them with micro-transactions, micro-donations. And with time, you would see more and more people go down the creator route. We are already seeing the likes of Patreon, Onlyfans, etc allowing people to create economically sustainable lives. 

3. Writing

As someone who likes to straddle multiple things and at some point in time make an impact for a billion people, I need to be very very good with words. After all, words do move mountains. And these words will open doors for me, allow me to know more people, satiate my curiosity, and so on and so forth. 

In one word, my words will give me access. And thus I need to get more active and more aggressive with this! 

4. Text vs Pictures vs Video

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a video is worth a thousand pictures. So, to improve the output by a 1000×1000, I need to pivot to doing videos at some point. Not sure though when.

PS: Thanks, Annkur for the nudge. Do tell me what would you want to see on a video from me. 

5. One, single, unified home for content

Right now, my content is scattered at multiple places – my own website, medium, blog, Mailchimp, tiny letter, substack, and more. And with each passing day, these platforms are only going to grow and more platforms would come in. And thus the content will scatter even more. 

And as a result, my patrons (and the ones I want to get access to) would probably not find what they are looking for! 

So I need to find a solution to this. May be I will use the website to showcase the best work and one blog destination to dump these thoughts? I don’t know yet. 

6. Tracks that people want to read about

Continuing with the scatteredness, it is no secret that I am a scatterbrain. My writing, output, and other things are spread too thin. I talk about marketing, entertainment, content, podcasts, entrepreneurship, writing, habits, notes, poker, and a million other things. 

And thus there is no way I can give a consistent experience to readers that are interested in just one genre. I mean if you are a filmmaker, you may want to read what I had to write about The Trial of the Chicago 7 but why would you read about how I refuse to have a kitchen at my home? Or that walking barefoot is the thing you need to practice but living in a city like Mumbai, it’s literally impossible! 

So once I know what and how and where all I am writing, there has to be a way for people to identify “tracks” they want to consume and they must be able to go down that path easily. For example, when you are subscribing to newsletters on those large websites, you have an option of subscribing to certain sections (kind of content) and receive updates from only that section, that track. I will have to implement that! 

7. Twitter

Lemme talk about Twitter. The thing that got me down this path! 

The thing with the tweet is, even though there is a permalink of the tweet per se, to me, a tweet looks and feels ephemeral. It is something that’s hanging in the air. I’d love to change it and have a more solid, permanent, tangible link. Like a URL to a website. A website feels a lot more solid to me. Oh, by the way, the public URLs that I host on my own website on? They are tough to pull off – I keep trashing my website every now and then and I start from scratch! I need to fix this. 

Plus, while most of my greatest connections have come via Twitter, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that it’s the primary destination where I create content. It can at best be a distribution platform. And heck, it’s a powerful destination! No? 

8. Writing to pay your bills

Making money and pivoting to being a writer! This is a big one. And this is what I am most conflicted about. 

The thing is, I’d love to be on substack or Patreon or something because I like the idea of monetizing my audience, my true fans. Even though I do NOT write with the intention of making money off my writing, I have been told by at least one person (thanks, Krishna!) that he is happy to pay me for what I write. Apparently, it adds value to his life. And that to me is music. 

For two reasons. A, I add value. The reason I even write in the first place. And B, people find it valuable enough to pay! 

So, if I can get 1000 people like Krishna, I’ll be free from the rigmarole of holding onto a steady job! And I can potentially take a step in the direction where I won’t have to work for others. And spend my life like a dog chasing cards – in random pursuits, where the chase itself is a reward! 

Of course, once I start seeking money for what I write, I need to not get sucked into this honeytrap and go down the desk-monkey route. 

The other thing that I am sure of is that I do not want to “profiteer” by sharing things I know. Whatever little I know, I know those because I have had generous people who were kind to me and shared things with me without expecting anything in return. And it is not right for me to profiteer when I myself haven’t paid for those! So that!

A big part of me thus does not want to charge at all. May be I’ll accept donations? I can ask people to donate whatever they deem is ok. But then, while I go with the pay what you go model, do I want to guilt-trip people into paying? Dunno. 

And if and when I do go the monetization path (in whatever shape or format), I need to decide how do I do it. With Patreon? Substack? Stripe? Ideally, I’d love to have a button or something (may be stripe connection to WordPress) on my own website. Let’s see. 

Sigh! You see the conflict? 

9. Accountability.

This is a big one. Right now, I write things as and when I feel like. There is no structure, no predictable cadence, no topic, no accountability. But once I decide that I want to be a writer for hire, I would have to be a lot more accountable. Someone said it right that a predictable routine is one of the secrets behind a free, wild, flowing, interesting life – the kind that gives you experiences that you long for. And the experiences that can shape you into a better man! 

So, I need to probably pull them socks up and get to a routine. For what I write, even if it’s across genres and all that. No?

***

So yeah, these things. 

What started as a rant, a comparison between tweets and blog posts has become a tome that I am not sure who would read. 

I will decide over the next few days and I will of course keep you guys posted. Till then, it’s over and out!