160821 – Morning Pages

A shortPost on what I am changing in my life from today on!

8:09. Starbucks.
I changed something today. I dint write as soon as I woke up. Rather, I puttered around. Played some chess (lost both the games). Did 12 Surya Namaskaras (yay!). And then reached Starbucks.

And here I am. On my morning pages. And I will write till 8:30. Sharp. And then 5 minutes to tag things in my notes. And then work. I think I can do with this routine.

So the highlight of yesterday has to be that I walked for a bit and went and sat at the seaside at Versova. This is what I will miss once I am not in Mumbai. To be honest, it was tough to be with myself. But I managed for a few minutes and it was indeed a good thing.

I also had a Frooti (or was it a Slice?) yesterday once I came back from the walk. I was dying to have a Diet Coke. I dont know what it is about staring at the sea and Diet Coke. I had to have one. But then, streaks. So I replaced it with whatever non-fizzy, non-sugary thing the store had. And somehow I settled on a mango-drink.

And yeah, it was tasty. I had had one after I dont know how long.

In other news, I did a session with a few young people I work with. The youngest was 19. Oldest, 25. There were 6 of them and I talked to them about SoG Book. This was my attempt at researching for the book. The kind of things they want to read and understand. It was fascinating to talk to them. I realized that what I have on SoG is not something that these kids would want to read. They of course have questions and doubts and all in their heads. But what I have is entirely different from what they want. So, back to the drawing board.

Starting Keto from today. And I started SNs as well. Enough. I think the darkness of the last few days is being caused by the kachra I am eating. So I am going to fix it. It is tough with all the ease and accessibility and all that. I will fall back to the age-old tested methods of chewing onto chewing gum all the time, drinking water all the time, and eating OMAD. I somehow need to stop with the stress eating. I can’t really control stress – there are things in my life that I am missing. There are things in life that could be better. But I know that I can’t control those. So, why bother.

Rather, fix the reaction to the stress. You know, not succumb to stress!

So that.

Ok. 8:32. Time to get on with the day. Here’s streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 1. Did some work on SoG Book.
  • #noCoke – 158
  • #noCoffee – 1. Had none. Had chai rather.
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Money spent – 4540
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0. Did 12 rounds today. If I manage tomorrow, I will add to the streaks.
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -2
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 248

150621 – iWant iPhone

A rant on how Android sucks, how I miss an office space, how I am unable to do yoga. And a couple of more things.

6:28. Woke up a few minutes ago.

I went for a walk last night for an hour or so. I took along the Vivo phone I use and I realized how much I miss an iPhone and what all would I do to get one! I mean I want to really get one.

This Android system is not for me. Not just the bloatware that comes preinstalled but also the speed at which it works. Plus I am so used to the iOS ecosystem of apps that I am literally struggling half the time to get things done. I still don’t know how to “quit” an app that’s running. The other day I had to hunt for where the alarm is. Then I have no clue how to abort all those “system” apps that keep running in the background that hog limited memory that the phone has. I don’t have a pedometer and the external app I installed (the one that is the highest-rated) has so many bugs and ads that it’s impossible to use. Plus, each time I install or uninstall an app, I get a notification about a “recommendation” to install another app. It sucks. Literally. Everyone that goes gaga over Android and its “flexibility” and “openness” clearly is blind to these. Or may be these are not issues in the first place. Maybe it’s my quirks that I need to get over. I mean I do get that the cheaper Andoird OS has given immense power to people with a computer in their hands. The impact has been literally world-changing. But then, it is not for me. I am happy in the closed, restricted, expensive, slick and at least for me, convenient iOS.

I just have to get an iPhone. ASAP. I have to get another client soon to be able to get one. That’s the goal for this month. Wish me luck.

Funny that all through my hour-long walk last night, I kept thinking about how I will write about how much an Andoird based phone sucks but when I started writing, I could only manage a handful of words!

Anyhow. Moving on.

Today’s my parent’s anniversary. They complete 40 years together (or 41, not sure). I will never understand their generation. I am the kind to not have completed 4 years with any of my significant others. And here they are. At 40 years. Wow!

I think I know what the “secret” sauce here is. And I know that I can’t comprehend the way they lived their lives, in the times they lived. But what I know is that togetherness for all those years is remarkable.

I pine for long-term relationships in everything – work, friendships, speech etc. And here I have. A live example in my very home. Heck, I am an outcome of that. Whatever I stand for, what I do, whatever I think of, all of it is the outcome of that union all those years ago!

Yoga. In other news, I did attempt Surya Namaskar yesterday, right after I published the morning pages. I could do just 8 rounds. And that too was a pain. I had to stop after 3. I took a break after the 6th. And I gave up after the 8th. I am that out of practice. At a point, I could do 12 and I was thinking of 20. But here I am. Out of breath and will at 8. ! Oh, that’s the other thing I decided yesterday when I was out for a walk. That come hell or high water, I will do yoga on a daily basis. I will carve out time for yoga, the way I do for these morning pages. The way morning pages builds my writing muscle, the daily practice of yoga will hopefully build my health muscle. All I need is 20 minutes. I don’t think I can’t find 20 minutes.

Next. Work. Lately, I’ve realized that whatever work I do before 6 is what I end my day with (unless I have a place to work out from, Starbucks, office, co-work, or something). The lure of bed is irresistible to me. I see one and I want to lie down. This is the reason I don’t even get into my bedroom at all and spread a mattress each night on the floor of the hall. And then I roll it back each night. Of course, it’s a different matter that the AC in the bedroom doesn’t work at all; the one in the hall at least throws air.

I digressed. The point I was trying to make was, I am literally unable to focus on work post 7 most days. And that’s how it would be till I get Starbucks open for longer hours. Or I get myself a seat at a coworking. The point (finally, I came to the point!) is, I will try to pack in more work during these hours.

That.

I think this is it for the day. Oh, I did meet Prak yesterday after almost 2 years. We can’t wait to start PPP all over again. With renewed vigor and energy and ideas and things. Let’s see where we go. Wish us luck 🙂

Chalo, time for those Surya Namaskars. Here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 184
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 96
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

280521. Quick Update

Quick and dirty post since I did not have a lot of time to write today. May revisit this during the day.

5:08 AM
This is the exact time when I would want to be up and write every day. In fact, I would want to wake up at 4 and then get in the groove by 4:30 and write from then on. And no, not write this morning pages per se but write to push my book.

But I haven’t been able to.
Neither will I be able to today!

Cos I am up early to work on a presentation that I should have worked on over the week but I slacked and slacked and slacked. I had the opportunity and time to work on it the last evening as well. But then I decided to go for a walk to complete my 10K steps. Which I did. Yay! But I couldn’t do the presentation. Damn!

But it’s cool. I have time before the presentation is due and I typically can wake easily with alarms. So I will manage it.

But, assuming I was up at 5, or 4:30, or something, and I was working on my morning pages (if not the book), today, I would have talked about the following…

1. My disappointment in me. At my age, I have little to show for. At every month end, I feel like a failure. You know, when I need to pay salaries and I find myself awfully short on cash! And often when I read about ordinary businesses doing extremely well.

2. The fact that I did Chandra Namaskar yesterday and I found it incredibly difficult to manage. I thought since I can pull 12 rounds of Surya Namaskar, Chandra Namaskar would be easy. Nah.

Yoga is tough, bro!

3. The promise to self that I will fast today. The last thing I had was around 8 PM yesterday. I plan to eat the next meal at 9 AM or later tomorrow. So, 36 odd hours. Trying to build the ability to do a 7-day fast in July and then 21-day sometime around December.

4. Or the fact that I am sick of Paneer. I’ve been on a vegetarian Keto meal and that means all I can eat is Paneer in various forms and shapes. And it’s been more than 10 days. I am definitely not losing weight. Definitely not losing inches. Definitely getting over whatever tiny liking I had for Paneer. Surprisingly, I have taken a fancy for Olives. Something that I hated all my life. To a point that I did not even eat that with a Pizza, while, I did like Pineapple on it 😀

5. Or I could talk about my laziness. You know, I am so lazy that I order water bottles rather than filing them up from a dispenser.
Ok.
Wait.
I am not lazy.
I seek convenience. It takes me on average a minute to fill in a one-liter water bottle. I drink about 8 of those in the day (and still not losing weight :() and that means I am looking at spending 8 minutes a day on filling of these bottles. Plus the 5 odd minutes I need every 3 days to replace the 20-liter jug on the dispense. Compare this to moving thumbs and magically seeing someone appear on your door with water.

6. I can also talk about how the syndicate I am doing is helping me talk to some really interesting people. To a point that I am enjoying chatting with them and picking up nuggets. I love this chase of new experiences. I really do. I wish I had a shakal that was a little better and I was a little less particular about edits and all. I would have pivoted my work towards becoming a talk-show host! May be, someday.

7. I can also talk about my newfound love for lemon and all things citrusy. I was the kinds to hate hate hate hate the tangy taste of a neembu. It was weird cos I grew up in Delhi where you had to have lemonade and other things if you had to survive the summers there. And then I’ve lived in Mumbai for at least 8 years on the trot now (wow, its 10 years in Mumbai over two stints), I did not start with the lemony things to get over the humidity.

But lately, I did. To be able to replace bland water with some taste that is not cola or sugary syrups. Damn this discipline for losing weight.

Plus, since I want to stay consistent with the thread of seeking convenience, I don’t really buy lemons and squeeze them or pulp them. I buy Dabur’s Lemoneez and just pour. And since I refuse to buy measures, I go by judgment – which in itself is poor af. So some days am sipping onto a concoction that’s sour af and other days, so mild that I crave for a Coke Diet Coke.

Diet Coke, ladies and gents is that love that I will probably never get to be with.

Sigh!

Guess this is about it. The presentation is calling.
Let’s see if I can revisit this during the day to work on #book2. Have made a promise to a Twitter friend that I will try and get a 7-day streak in.

Wish me luck!

And here’s streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 166
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 1
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #noCoke – 78
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • #book2 – 1. I am hoping to write today during the day.
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

200421 – Meditations

Quick post on how things are with me in probably the toughest times we’ve seen as a race. And an attempt at pushing the story forward.

6:04. I just woke up. A minute ago. Without an alarm. The room was too hot. The AC conked off. And so did the phone. Or maybe it’s the charging cable. I will get to know by the time I end this post. I am trying to charge it with another wireless charger I have. Ok, the cable is the problem.

It’s funny how mundane like is, on a day-to-day basis. You plan for grand things, the ones that can change the world and you struggle with basics like devices, tools, etc give you a hard time. Life has its ways.

It was a terribly busy day yesterday. Way too many meetings and calls. To a point that I ate while I was on a call. I had to pee and I had to put 11 people on hold to do that. Which is ok. I don’t mind this at all. I like the idea of spending my time on things other than mindless consumption of all the content floating around on the internet.

But the good part is that I managed about 9000 steps towards the end of the day. I went a million times around the cramped space around my building. Thanks to the calls that allowed me to not get bored. I think I will schedule all the calls that I can control at that time so that I can walk and not get bored.

So, what happened yesterday? And what do I want to log-in here?

  1. This
  2. More and more people are moving to Goa. This means they are finding better internet and phone connectivity. And thus the Goa post needs to be updated. Done.
  3. A very very good friend was found positive. This is one of those people I care for. Damn. Hope he recovers fast.
  4. I’ve decided to stay away from any negative news of any kind. Even if it’s supposed to be funny. Including jokes, WhatsApp, tweets, and others that have been going around. I am not even hanging out on Instagram anymore. There’s way too much negativity masked as comments and critiques. If I endorse something, they would add to your life and not take things away. I had to log in about the friend (point 3) but that’s that. I don’t plan to delve any further into it. Need to practice equanimity. You know, this too shall pass.
  5. Believe it or not. I did 8 rounds of Surya Namaskar yesterday. I followed this video. I was dead by the 4th. Wanted to quit by the 6th. But persisted. I plan to do 8 more today. At least. I will see if I can push myself to do 10. The lofty goal is to be able to do 100. I don’t know how I would get the time out but let’s see.
  6. Last two days, I’ve been using Headspace on a computer (and not on a phone). This again is better. Cos I switch off phone when I do and thus there are no distractions.

Plan for the day?
Lol. Calls. What else.

Here’s the streaks…

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 128
  • #aPicADay – 109 the quality of photos is going down everything. There’s nothing to click in the tiny place I have access to 🙁
  • 10K steps a day –0.
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 41
  • #noCoke – 41
  • 10 mins of meditation – 6
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Original Work (limited time only) – 5

On to the original work. Day 6.
Yesterday I was at a point where Roshan has been diagnosed with a terminal illness and he will be dead in 14 days. He tells his mother about it. I did not write it entirely. But I did manage a part of the conversation. I had identified a few questions and pointers. I needed to find out other characters. I need a larger battle as the backdrop. And I need to generally find out what would Roshan do once he knows that he was going to die in 14 days.

Lemme introduce Roshan’s love interest.

[START]

Diksha’s family was as old as Roshan’s was. And had the same lineage. Her’s was the lineage of teachers and had the distinction of teaching even Shivaji for a brief period. She had continued to the tradition and now ran the only private school in Indapur. Like Roshan’s, she also had numerous cousins in the town and most of them were teachers at various schools, including some at her school.

Like any two old families in a tiny town, the two families knew of each other. Many people had married within each other. The relationships were more or less cordial. However, there was no way Diksha and Roshan would cross paths. They had contrasting worlds and world views. Diksha was a lot more serious and had no serious ambitions. As long as her students were happy, she was ok. Roshan on the other hand planned to move beyond to at least Mumbai in search of his dreams. The challenge was, he did not have a dream. Yet. He remained in search of opportunities.

The only time they spot meet each other during the day would be when Roshan would walk back from the temple with his mother. It was around the same time Diksha would finish her work and on the way back stop at the temple for a bit. She did she Roshan as an obedient, respectful person that took extra care of his mother. And that was that. Beyond that, she had no interest in his physique or the flurry of jokes that he seems to have handy all the time.

Neither was Roshan interested in Diksha. She was, what they call, a simpleton. A woman next door with nothing special to write home about. Probably boring as well. Plus Roshan had seen her grow alongside. The large families would meet often on various occasions and since they were both from the only two illustrious ones, they always had special status reserved for them. Most times, these interactions would happen at their respective homes. They weren’t anything like the glorious ones of the past, with each successive generation, the patch of land that they could lay claim to would get smaller and smaller. Most times these splits would be amicable. At such places, pragmatism took over the need to argue.

Except when Roshan’s family got dealt an unfair hand. Roshan’s father was the younger son and thus when the split had to be done, he was left out with parcels of land that none of his elder brothers wanted. He was content with what he was handed over. Pritha had a large part in Kishore’s decision to take what was given to him. They were happy that they got a house to live in, a gala next to the temple where his Kishore could start a business, and a barren patch further beyond the town. This is where Roshan would go on to establish his akhada.

This was clearly unfair as this was not even 5% of the total fortune that Roshan’s family should’ve inherited. If not for Diksha’s grandfather, Kishore wouldn’t have got even this much. His elder brother, Dinesh believed that as the younger brother, Kishore had no claim over any inheritance and must live on the alms. If not for the sense pounded in to his head, he would have probably got his henchmen to do the same. In fact, even now Roshan and Darpan, the two cousins would often spar.

Now Darpan was unlike his father. He believed that whatever his father gave away to Roshan’s family, he still had the rightful claim over that. But then he was a reasonable man. To a point that when the elders started talking about getting him and Diksha married, the pragmatic Diskha had no opposition to the match.

[END] [NOTES]

Nah. Did not flow. I couldn’t think of a lot. Need to do better. Experienced deja vu while writing this! Woah! After a long time!

Also, need to think on the following…

  1. How to make Roshan likable?
  2. Can I reveal Roshan’s actions at the very end of the film? You know, he did all these because he was terminal? Similar to Sweet November.
  3. This Diksha – Roshan escapade is not happening. Seems forced. May be it’s Diksha’s pain that Roshan is trying to solve? May be Diksha knows that Roshan is terminal and is empathetic? May be she’s a doctor herself? May be she doesn’t know that he was going to die?

I just realised that I think FAR better when I am writing. Or when I am talking to others. #epiphany

Over and out!
See you guys tomorrow.