210721 – Morning Pages

Had a fairly bad day yesterday. Can’t get into specifics but here’s me dumping things on paper, hoping to get some sanity.

6:50. Woke up a few minutes ago. Had a bomb of a day yesterday. It sucked on all counts. At work, it sucked. At home, it sucked. While talking to friends, it sucked. Seeing everyone cool and all without me around, it sucked. It was probably one of the lowest points I’ve had in a while.

There were a few silver linings as well but more or less it sucked. I dont know who’s to blame. I mean, it has to be me. In the sense, it was me who did not work over the last week and thus I had work and escalations piled up. I must be expecting the world from my loved ones and relationships and I must be a drag on their senses and emotions. And that’s why they did not want to humor me.

I mean it has to be cos if everyone from all sides is taking me for granted, I have to be the one that is at fault. I thought I was a people’s person but I will have to relook at how I operate and work with people.

Anyhow.
Glad the day it’s over.

So in terms of good things, yesterday, I managed 12 Surya Namaskars for the second day on the trot. I had thought it would be tough but I did manage. The push-ups are being a pain. Could only do 10. The shoulders are gone. Managed 12K walks. Climbed 8 stories. So more or less, fitness was on point.

Managed OMAD. Ate Roti after a while. Feeling bloated since! I need to find some food that doesn’t bloat me. Any ideas?

However, I got late while sleeping. Was stuck with work. And then some personal snafu. And thus I woke up late (after 6). I didn’t feel like doing pushups – the shoulder is still being a pest. Will probably try during the day. Managed 12 rounds of SN.

Need to add Pranayama breathing to be mix as I go along.

Come to think of it, it’s funny how in just two three days, all conversation on my blog and all chatter in my head has moved to fitness. Earlier I was thinking a lot about work and life and dunno what all. Now, it’s fitness.

Ok. In other news, I decided I need to get off Twitter. Been away from Instagram for a few days. Need to cut out everything that is a time sink. Even if that adds to who I am as a person. I plan to stay away till October. If I manage it, it will be 2 odd months and it will probably be my longest break from social media. Let’s see if I can manage. Let’s see how this iteration of Digital Detox goes.

For someone like me who’s addicted to conversations, people, strangers, exciting things, and shiny things, this is going to be tough. But then tough things are what you need to do in life when you want to get back to your feet. No?

What else am I thinking about…?
Work? Money? People in life? Future?

Actually all of these!

It sucks I can’t write specifics. I mean however in public I may want to live, I know that whatever I write can be traced back to others. And they may not appreciate this kind of candor.

Thank God, I have echochamber where I can write in detail. I dunno what I would do without it.

Anyhow. Time to get going.

Here’s streaks.

  • OMAD – 2
  • #book2 – 0
  • #noCoke – 132
  • #noCoffee – 2
  • #aPicADay – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 2
  • Surya Namaskar – 2
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -1
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 222

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