061121 – Morning Pages

A new format of doing these morning pages. Start with journal, add some commentary. And then end with the trackers. What do you think?

7:13. Slept at 4 something. Blame it on all the coffee I had. The good part is that I ate very little and I did not have Diet Coke even though it was a stressful day. So, pat on the back for that.

In terms of the update, I want to experiment with doing just the journal and see what I write. And once I am done with it, if there are things that I want to add onto, will add. And then I will add the trackers. Lemme know what you think of this new format. If these are still interesting for you to read? I mean I am a random guy on the internet. Would you want to read the musings in such an open manner? Is living in public cool?

Anyhow. Here’s the journal!

  1. Emoticon: :|. I was not happy per se. But I wasn’t sad either. So that.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 2. I think I did ok yesterday. I focused on one task at a time and I did serial multitasking. If I can amp it up, I will be ok. So +1, Mr. Garg.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I can find a comfortable bed most times I want to. This is a big big blessing. Grateful for that.
    2. I am grateful that I have access to enough water, at a time I want, in a shape I want. And I love sipping onto it. As I am writing this, I am sipping on to warm water.
    3. I can choose how I want to spend my time. More or less. I mean right now, I would like to be with my parents but work demands that I spend time away from them. But within that, I can choose my time and all that. So that.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. I have a lot of important things open. If I can work on and close those, it would be awesome. These things affect my work, my present and my future. All at the same time. It would be great if I could get those things done.
    2. If I can make do with OMAD, nothing like it. And if not that, I need to eat less. And eat well. You know, good things – no sugar, no carbs, no oil etc.
    3. If I could avoid giving into temptations (of any kind, that appeal to any of our senses), it would be awesome.
  5. A daily affirmation.
    I can consistently create amazing opportunities for myself and my loved ones.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. I could avoid eating kachra. Even though I had the opportunity. And access. And on top. whatever I ate was healthy. I mean I am assuming it was healthy. And I avoided Diet Coke. I did have couple of coffees but that’s ok. I will reduce that also as we get along.
    2. I tried to and successfully avoided context switching. It felt great to actually see things happen. With context switching, I open a lot of threads but I have a tough time closing em. If I can make this a recurring habit, I think I would be happier. So, more of it today.
    3. The cab ride from home to Gurgaon was fabulous. Even though it was dangerous, I loved the speed, the control of the cabbie and the wind in my (non-existent) hair. I just wish I was the one driving. I miss driving. Must get a car soon. #note2self. No, not before I take care of the debt.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. If I could have avoided coffee, it would have been fab. Today as well, I may not able to avoid. I have a meeting that I need to be at where I will be forced to have coffee.
    2. I was up till 3ish. If I could sleep on time, it would have better. I know sleep is important for functioning but I was unable to. Guess I will have to avoid coffee.
    3. If I could end the day with a dinner with someone, anyone, it would have been better. I like the idea of meeting people face to face and I feel off their energy. I ended the day on the bed staring at my phone. Rather I should have been sitting across a table and chatting about plans to take over the world 😀
  8. Quote for the day
    “Leave people better than you found them.” – Anon

What do I want to add beyond the journal?

I would have liked to talk more about context switching. But that’s a subject for another post altogether. Which knowing me, would never happen ;P

Also, the sections in the journal are overlapping. I need to find a better way of doing it. May be I will talk to SM from whom I literally copied this (see this thread) and I will ask him for his thoughts on the overlap. Let’ see.

So, as I end this, here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 3
  • #noCoffee – 0
  • #aPicADay – o
  • Daily Journal – 30
  • Money spent – 3654
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 30
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0.
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 30

181021 – Morning Pages

A quick post (and yet not a shortpost) about things on the top of my head. And things that I have planned for this week. Read on.

8:20. Yet another hotel. This trip of staying in a different bed each night is exactly what I had dreamed of all my life. Never knew I would do this in Delhi / Gurgaon and at my own expense. In my dreams, I was this high-flying super amazing, successful dude that the clients would give an arm and a leg for and hotels would be a small part of it.

Dont have a lot of time today. I need to get into work thingy by 9 AM. That means I have less than 20 minutes to write things and get going.

So yesterday was a very interesting day. I met a senior from college. Picked his brains about life and all that. Realized that I have just about 10 useful years left. Makes me sad that I have spent my entire life and haven’t achieved anything. I’ve not even written as much as I would’ve liked to.

While I was being sad about wasting my time and life, I stumbled onto some music from some live sessions that Lucky Ali is doing this year. I got even sadder. The guy’s a childhood hero and now he is literally off-sync. Of course, there’s this charm about listening to music that you loved so much when you grew up but age has clearly “rusted” his ability to sing. The good part is that I saw a post from him where he said Mahesh Mathai and he are working on another video. Which is a great thing. The guy directed the classic O Sanam – probably the first track that I fell in love with. And they are collaborating with Mike McCleary, again a long-time Lucky Ali contributor.

I also found and saw this TEDx talk where Lucky Ali talks about his life and philosophy. Do see it if you get time.

Wow. I wrote a lot. And there is more.

At the behest of a friend, I took the Enneagram Personality Test. You can take it as well for free here. I am not sure what is the interpretation and what are my next steps but the great thing is that I could predict the outcome even before I took the test. So that was a great thing. Pat on the back for scoring high on self-awareness bit 🙂

Guess this is about it.

Here’s the journal.

  1. Emoticon: :). I feel good even if I am sleep deprived. I have realised that I am very very happy and engaged when I am juggling multiple balls. Even if some of those fall down.
  2. Mindful Index (on a scale of 10): 0. Super distracted. I can’t focus on a thing for more than 10 seconds.
  3. Things that I am grateful for
    1. I can create opportuntiies and circumstances that allow me to get things done.
    2. I have people around me (including bosses, managers, clients) that understand where I am coming from and allow me to do what I want to do.
  4. Things that would make my today great
    1. I have a workshop to take. If I can deliver a good one, I will feel great about myself. I know I am good at it but each workshop is new with new participants and thus the chase of greatness in the success of it.
    2. If I can close the open tasks from the last week, it would be great.
    3. I really need to work on my health. It would be great if I could stop with the coke and coffee and carbs. And maybe get onto OMAD?
  5. A daily affirmation. I am good at what I do and it’s my duty to deliver with the best of my abilities. And I must. I must do whatever it takes to get things done to the best of my abilities.
  6. Amazing things that happened yesterday? 
    1. Met people from Team SG. It was good fun to catch up with the future.
    2. Got some work done. Yay! I need to just accelerate on that and do a lot more.
  7. What could have made yesterday better?
    1. I shouldnt have to stay up for work. If I had managed time better, it would have been nice. Lesson for the day is to manage time better.
    2. I would have liked if I did not have all that coffee.
    3. I would have loved if I did not have to struggle to find an autorickshaw to come to the hotel.
  8. Quote for the day
    “Be reliable. Unreliability can cancel out other virtues.” – Charlie Munger. Found this via this tweet. This one quote is VERY important to me. The kinds that I would like to pin up on the wall in front of me. If you add resourcefulness to the mix, you would become unbeatable!

This is about it for the day. And here’s the streaks…

  • OMAD – 0
  • #book2 – 0
  • NOFAP – 0
  • #noCoke – 0. Had 2.
  • #noCoffee – 0. Too much coffee. Need to get a grip. I will try to not have any nmore today. And then get onto the streak.
  • #aPicADay – ??. Was on 10. Yet to post today’s
  • Daily Journal – 11
  • Money spent – 9752. Wow!
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • 10K steps a day – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0
  • Daily Mail to #teamSG – 11
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0
  • Minimaslism Counter – -3 +1.
  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 11

250421 – Morning Meditations

A longish conversation with self on things that I need to more of if I want to reach where I want to.

6:56. Woke up a few minutes ago. The minds blank. Lemme fill in some words and see the direction this narrative takes. Yesterday was a long long day. I did not get time to even see the watch till about 2. And no, I could not do the Surya Namaskars. Neither could I do meditation. No, I did not write on the Roshan story. I did manage 10K steps though. So that’s the only win I have.

The other thing that I have to log is that even though I have been eating clean for more than two weeks now (except that lone mousse that I eat every day, I have not eaten anything from outside), I feel bloated all the time. I think it’s all the soda that I drink. Need to stop for a week and see how I feel.

So that.

Mind’s still blank. Lemme pour more. A million things are open at my end. Both at work and at passion projects. And at things that are important for me. Funnily, I am not slacking. I am actually at it. I am not wasting my time with random content. I am not immersed in reading that much that I lose time. I am no longer active on Twitter. Neither am I just staring at the ceiling! I am just procrastinating on random things for no reason. I have never been this. I mean I say no if I don’t want to work on things but I don’t procrastinate. Plus, the time has never been this important. Each minute is accounted for. Plus there’s no travel anyway. So, I don’t know where the time’s going. I even tried tracking it on all the million sheets I maintain. I know that I did “time pass” but I don’t know where the other time’s going. Even this weekend came and went away in a blink!

I think these are the reasons.

a/ I am part of way too many meetings.
What this does is that I get the illusion of working but no real work happens. I don’t create anything. I don’t get my name out. I don’t build my brand. I don’t plant seeds. Which is ok for most people. But not for me. I have this need to be out there. I need to attract opportunities. I need to do a lot more. And a lot more will happen when I ship things.

So may be, Monday onward, I will reduce the meetings I am a part of. I will rely on emails wherever possible.

b/ I work on way too many things.
Which I have made peace with. What I don’t do and should do is, not switch tasks often. Look at this post for example. I started on this at 6:56. It’s 8:02. In this hour, I have worked on this post, tweaked the Wordpres theme on one of the passion projects that I want to work on, checked email, reviewed a client presentation, researched the meaning of Kun Faya Kun (the right way to refer to it is Kun Fayakun – if you are curious, read this), played a game of chess (I won!), thought about how I ought to create and not waste time, filled 5 liters of water in some 8 water bottles (reused bottles of soda, water, etc) around my house.

Even within this post, I have gone back and forth between various sections. Which I think is ok. That’s my style. Most other writers will probably start with a list of things they want to cover and then they would fill in those. I do the same for work related writing. This is a freeflow text. So that.

The point is, I shuttle between way too many things too many times. I need to engage in one thing at a time. I can’t stop multitasking. The tweak I can add is the one around serialtasking (#note2self – must write an SoG on serialtasking). In its purest form, Cal Newport calls this Deep Work.

c/ I am not a doer per se. I am more of a manager.
I need people to do things for me. Most work I get paid for, I am an individual contributor. Most passion projects, I am the sole worker. I do have someone that helps me but I need to find a replacement. I am unable to do so.

I know that I can think of a million things but I need others to do those. In a typical corporate structure, this is possible. Easy to find resources that help you. Easy to delegate. Easy to take feedback and inputs. In the structure I run (everyone owns, runs, manages things), it is difficult. Different people have different levels of motivation. They have different outlooks on life than I. They need more security. They need more structure. I am ok with ambiguity. I like the idea of chasing the unknown. I like taking things from 0 to 1 (thinking of possibilities etc). I need people that can take things from 1 to 100.

So that.

So action points are…

  1. Find a great team. Now that I can pay a bit. The challenge would be to compete with the insane amount of money that these new-age startups are throwing at young people.
  2. Stop attending meetings. Start using that time to do things. Implement maker-manager.
  3. Stop switching. In one line, stop multitasking. Lol.

The next thing I need to think about is my website. I need to create content that attracts the right kind of people and opportunities. What are these? Here we go…

It’s clear to me that I cant do one thing. I will always be on hundred projects at the same time. If I were to draw a structure, I think a pyramid would look like this…

  1. Top – Enable others, make them successful and participate in the wealth they create.
  2. Layer 1 – These people, these others must come from three disciplines that I want to create impact at – startups, films, education. I have made progress with films. And in some way with startups. I will get onto education at some point in time in life.
  3. Next layer – Get better at these disciplines by talking to more people, attracting more opportunities, doing more, showing the proof of work, delivering impact, becoming an “expert” etc.
  4. Next layer – As an individual, do things I like – writing, photography, talking to people, travel, clean my desk, drink water etc etc. With people I like – strangers, friends, coworkers, family.
  5. The base layer – Become atamnirbhar. AKA financially independent fast. By making money from things like brand consulting, marketing, content, events, etc.

I guess that sums my approach to life well. Sounds very similar to Elon’s masterplan. Wait. Even I wrote a masterplan a few years ago when I was starting C4E.

Lemme reproduce those slides here…

Wrote this sometime in 2016 or 2017. The idea was to create money, use that money to create more people that make more money. And use that money to scale things further. Till I reach a billion people.

And, in terms of tangible actions, I wanted to do the following…

This is how I would expand into other things.

Lemme know if you want access to the entire deck.

Needless to say, I am far far away from these. I did make early moves but I have proven to be a disappointment to myself. But, the thing is, I have not given up on myself. I will never do so.

Wait. I was talking about my website. How did I land on to this self-pity piece?

The point is, I need to work on my website that gets me connected to more opportunities.

Ok. Next?

Nothing is next. It’s 8:45 and I need to get going with the day. Before that, must log that these days, Kun Faya Kun is my default music for each morning as I wake up. This version. And when I sleep. At that time, I listen to this version. I also must log that I hate this block-structure that WordPress has. It’s not friendly for writers at all. To developers, it may be.

With that, over and out.

Here’s the streaks. Also logged here.

  • Morning Pages / Meditations – 133
  • #aPicADay – 114
  • 10K steps a day – 1. Did 11K.
  • OMAD – 0
  • #noCoffee – 46
  • #noCoke – 46
  • 10 mins of meditation – 0. Did not do yesterday and broke a 10-day streak.
  • #book2 – 0
  • Killer Boogie – 0
  • Original Work (limited time only) – 0
  • Surya Namaskar – 0

And no, nothing on Roshan today either. Dal Roti comes first.